Killjoy Initial Post-Capture Interview
(TRANSMISSION OVERRIDDEN) DANGER LEVEL: YELLOW
If I pumped her stomach would she love me again? Could I bring back the ghosts of all the Forgotten Killjoys she dusted if she returned to being normal? Returned to what she sees as abnormal?
I didn't wanna run anymore. I'd been caught. I was as good as ghosted. And so was she.
I hung my head so she couldn't see my tears until they fell onto the floor while I remembered a time she told me she wanted to leave all this behind and live forever. She was the only friend I'd ever had who made me cry.
"You don't have to feel sad anymore, 6655321."
My head lifted.
"You don't have to feel anything anymore."
My eyes began to search up and down the concrete walls of the interrogation room for some sort of counter to that proposal and I could feel my heart creep its way up my spine and replace what held my more rational thoughts. In my eardrums I could hear a word I would have killed myself for if I'd said it an hour ago in as hopeful a tone it rang in: "Really?"
At that moment my eyes grew wide and my face started burning bright red because I hadn't just said it with my heart but with my stupid fucking lips and tongue and larynx, loud enough that Jenny heard it too.
She smiled in some sort of contagious way, but not the kind I'd use to catch like trophy fish. I caught this smile in my throat like a fatal disease; a great fake-white shark stalking a helpless me. She started to pace and slowly began to circle me.
"Really," she cooed.
I couldn't move.
"All of the fear you felt in the Zones, Diet Choke -"
Why'd she call me by name?
"- can be quickly stripped away from your conscience."
She approached me slow like flirting, teasing me so badly I could have burst into tears, with her head positioned low and her faded green eyes peering at me behind unchanged rows of long eyelashes. Those eyes had more color the way I remembered them. I began to stammer as my breath continuously was cut short.
"I - I wasn't... I wasn't afraid."
"You don't have to lie anymore..."
Her face inched closer to mine and her breath hit my lips like a hurricane drowning me in the past as pictures flew by my eyes when I closed them, pleading for mercy from whoever could hear me.
"...Prudence."
No.
My eyelids snapped like broken shutters wide open off my eyes and the dams behind them broke, freeing years upon years' worth of collected tears to run down my face that began to grow red with a kind of anger I'd never felt before. My heart shattered like a grenade in the perches of my mind and the next thing I felt was my arm swing up strong to hit Jenny's cheek with the palm of my hand. I looked down at it past my tears and it glowed hot pink with fury. I could hardly breathe while I watched Jenny hold her face in her hands as I backed away. She yelped in pain and I couldn't care any less than I did.
I didn't wanna run anymore. I'd been caught. I was as good as ghosted. And so was she.
I hung my head so she couldn't see my tears until they fell onto the floor while I remembered a time she told me she wanted to leave all this behind and live forever. She was the only friend I'd ever had who made me cry.
"You don't have to feel sad anymore, 6655321."
My head lifted.
"You don't have to feel anything anymore."
My eyes began to search up and down the concrete walls of the interrogation room for some sort of counter to that proposal and I could feel my heart creep its way up my spine and replace what held my more rational thoughts. In my eardrums I could hear a word I would have killed myself for if I'd said it an hour ago in as hopeful a tone it rang in: "Really?"
At that moment my eyes grew wide and my face started burning bright red because I hadn't just said it with my heart but with my stupid fucking lips and tongue and larynx, loud enough that Jenny heard it too.
She smiled in some sort of contagious way, but not the kind I'd use to catch like trophy fish. I caught this smile in my throat like a fatal disease; a great fake-white shark stalking a helpless me. She started to pace and slowly began to circle me.
"Really," she cooed.
I couldn't move.
"All of the fear you felt in the Zones, Diet Choke -"
Why'd she call me by name?
"- can be quickly stripped away from your conscience."
She approached me slow like flirting, teasing me so badly I could have burst into tears, with her head positioned low and her faded green eyes peering at me behind unchanged rows of long eyelashes. Those eyes had more color the way I remembered them. I began to stammer as my breath continuously was cut short.
"I - I wasn't... I wasn't afraid."
"You don't have to lie anymore..."
Her face inched closer to mine and her breath hit my lips like a hurricane drowning me in the past as pictures flew by my eyes when I closed them, pleading for mercy from whoever could hear me.
"...Prudence."
No.
My eyelids snapped like broken shutters wide open off my eyes and the dams behind them broke, freeing years upon years' worth of collected tears to run down my face that began to grow red with a kind of anger I'd never felt before. My heart shattered like a grenade in the perches of my mind and the next thing I felt was my arm swing up strong to hit Jenny's cheek with the palm of my hand. I looked down at it past my tears and it glowed hot pink with fury. I could hardly breathe while I watched Jenny hold her face in her hands as I backed away. She yelped in pain and I couldn't care any less than I did.