The Town's Been Talkin'

I know I should’ve been excited to see the desert we drove through be replaced by even more desert but I wasn’t. My mind was still replaying the outcome of this morning as I looked out the window, I didn’t see the desert plants, or the mountains that were at a far distant. I saw or more like I felt the bed move as his body disappeared adding more coldness not that he even added warmth to begin with. The sound of the door closing made my eyes open and stare at the wall with full disappointment. Again I lay in some bed alone, again I made myself easy enough for him and again I lost more respect for myself.

No, I wasn’t going to show that he had affected me in some way. I didn’t want to walk out of the room like he destroyed me because he didn’t. And that brings us back to where I was now, sitting in the back row of their tour van trying to act like I was excited with the view of the desert and the new venue. Yay, desert plants and heat from the hot sun.

I tilted my head back resting it against the seat and sighed deeply, my eyes stayed connect with images and feelings of this morning, I hated it more like hated him but I’m sure that was clear by now. I moved uncomfortably in my spot, hitting Patrick with my arm every now and then, my leg bumping his and my head falling onto his shoulder and then back to the seat unsure of what to do.

“Are you feeling okay Selene?” Patrick finally spoke up, a hint of worry added to his tone.

“You know what? Now that you mention it,” I started and slowly sat up and hugged my middle. “I don’t think so.” I turned to him and bent over, pretending to throw on his lap. I lifted my head up and smiled widely, his facial expression combined of fear and disgust. “Aw, you would’ve let up chuck on your lap?”

“I don’t think I would’ve had a choice,” He laughed. “And thanks for not using the T word.”

I looked at him oddly, “What’s the T word?”

“Throw up, he means throw up.” Kennedy said a little bothered as he sat up from the middle bench, making it his own and not sharing.

“At least he would have let me throw up on his lap,” I mumbled and leaned back bringing my focus to the scenery.

“Well sorry for not being all crazy about puke on my lap.” Kennedy tiredly stated and went back to lying down.

Eventful conversation I could say but that would be an utter lie, it was gross. I leaned my temple against the hot window not really caring if the temperature was going to leave a mark or that it was too hot for my liking, it kept me focus on whatever was playing on the horizon.

The sun was pretty high now and the van was slowing down, my eyes drifted from the blurry landscape and to the front where I looked passed John and to the rest stop that was coming up. I took my burning temple off the glass and pushed my bangs to hide any future taunting. The van was parked and I was climbing over the seats, stepping over a sleeping body and was in between two band mates named Garrett and Jared. I causally moved over Garrett’s lap and opened the door.

I sighed in relief as my feet touched the ground and my legs were walking about, the sun was making a bit of sweat form on my forehead but I honestly didn’t care, it felt nice. I rested my hands on my head and let my visible skin eat up all the sun it wanted, my eyes closed feeling content where I was as came to a stop.

My peace was disturbed by the feeling of someone watching me, doubting the fact a thing can watch me. I opened one eye and squinted and in my view was John, he was an exception of a thing. I dropped my hands from my head and waited for whatever excuse he had this time. I opened my other eye and shook my head slightly.

“Hey, I just wanted to talk about last night.” He unoriginally started.

“Last night? There’s no need to be sorry, I mean we all can’t perform our part while being drunk and the room is spinning.” I said and shrugged my shoulders.

“Wait, what?” His asked as his confused voice match his face.

“It’s okay John, it’s not like I’m not like going to tell someone that you failed…” I nodded and patted his shoulder.

“But--”

“No, let’s not continue this… it should be hard, wait let me rephrase that… it must be uncomfortable so let’s go before they leave without us.” I smiled to him and turned back to the van; I climbed over the seats again and planted myself next to Patrick again.

I kept my eyes on John as he got into the passenger seat with that same confused and probably crushed ego face, man was I hoping that I hurt him in some way or at least made him worry to have sex again. But If I knew John like I did, he would bounce back in no time. I caught the few glares he threw over to me and I happily saved them in my pocket.