Status: I do understand that a lot of us may go down in the process of finding ourselves.
Get Me Out of My Mind
Numbing Thoughts
My hands were searching for yours,
“Am I a bad person?” I asked. I forgot who I was recently.
I felt your hands fumbling through the dark, and you sweetly grabbed mine.
“As far as I’m concerned, you’re the best person in the world.” I felt one of your hands let go of mine and come up to my face, brushing against it. Why was it so dark?
“No I’m not,” I whispered, “I knocked that police officer down.” A lump was building up in my throat. I wish I could see your face. Actually, for some reason I couldn’t even picture what you looked like. That would bring me comfort.
“Listen to me Ryan,” your voice spoke, I memorized every single detail of it in the time we spent together. “You’re a good person, just because someone gets lost along the way of becoming a better person doesn’t make them awful. Learning from past experiences is the way life works.” I shook my head; tears were beginning to cascade down my checks. “I love you, remember that, okay?”
More tears were coming out almost instantly when you said that. It was nice hearing it.
“I… I love you, too.”
~~~~~~~~
A beeping noise pulled me back to earth, waking me up. I rolled on my back.
“God damn! I can’t have anything good,” I muttered realizing that boy was only a dream. I always had dreams of him. It’s always dark though, I can’t see his face but I know he’s the best person I could ever picture. I wish he was real.
I hit the alarm clock and it stopped. Oh, I just can’t wait to see what today turns into because yesterday.
After I got thrown into that holding cell, I called my mom and they came to get me. My dad paid bail but I was charged with assault of a police officer and n matter what I said, they wouldn’t listen to me. I rolled out of my covers and off my bed. My bare feet hit the cold, hard wooden floor. I trotted down the stairs to go and see where my mom was. I was hungry too, I barley ate yesterday and my stomach was aching. Ice for my black eye would be nice too. As soon as I reached the door way of the kitchen, I caught my parent’s attention who were sitting there drinking coffee and eating doughnuts. My mom batted her hand on the table; great, more yelling.
“Ryan- sit down please.” My stomach dropped. When I looked to her face, I seen she had been crying. She had on no makeup and her hair was a mess.
I slowly walked to a chair, keeping my eyes on my mom to attempt to read her. “Due to yesterday, I got a phone call this morning. Your case has already been reviewed and you will have to go to juvenile hall…” My face turned white. It felt as if all the blood in my body flowed right out the door.
“No.” I managed to choke out in disbelief.
“But-“ she began, “there’s this camp that offered to take you. This camp will be better than being behind bars. They have a nice program. We’d rather have you go there.”
“All because of that one tiny incident with a cop?”
“But honey, you got charged with assault of a police officer. You’re lucky this camp offered to take you.” Dead silence, about half a minute of it. I played with my thumbs, my body felt numb. I was deep in thought though. This place was going to be pure torture.
“What about school?”
“You only have a month of it left until summer. During that time a torture will visit and help you with your studies.”
“When will I leave?” a tear escaped from my mom. My dad spoke up this time.
“You have a whole day to pack.” He handed me a sheet that was next to the printer. “This is what you can and cannot bring. We’re driving you there tomorrow.”
I was still dreaming, I had to be.
“Am I a bad person?” I asked. I forgot who I was recently.
I felt your hands fumbling through the dark, and you sweetly grabbed mine.
“As far as I’m concerned, you’re the best person in the world.” I felt one of your hands let go of mine and come up to my face, brushing against it. Why was it so dark?
“No I’m not,” I whispered, “I knocked that police officer down.” A lump was building up in my throat. I wish I could see your face. Actually, for some reason I couldn’t even picture what you looked like. That would bring me comfort.
“Listen to me Ryan,” your voice spoke, I memorized every single detail of it in the time we spent together. “You’re a good person, just because someone gets lost along the way of becoming a better person doesn’t make them awful. Learning from past experiences is the way life works.” I shook my head; tears were beginning to cascade down my checks. “I love you, remember that, okay?”
More tears were coming out almost instantly when you said that. It was nice hearing it.
“I… I love you, too.”
~~~~~~~~
A beeping noise pulled me back to earth, waking me up. I rolled on my back.
“God damn! I can’t have anything good,” I muttered realizing that boy was only a dream. I always had dreams of him. It’s always dark though, I can’t see his face but I know he’s the best person I could ever picture. I wish he was real.
I hit the alarm clock and it stopped. Oh, I just can’t wait to see what today turns into because yesterday.
After I got thrown into that holding cell, I called my mom and they came to get me. My dad paid bail but I was charged with assault of a police officer and n matter what I said, they wouldn’t listen to me. I rolled out of my covers and off my bed. My bare feet hit the cold, hard wooden floor. I trotted down the stairs to go and see where my mom was. I was hungry too, I barley ate yesterday and my stomach was aching. Ice for my black eye would be nice too. As soon as I reached the door way of the kitchen, I caught my parent’s attention who were sitting there drinking coffee and eating doughnuts. My mom batted her hand on the table; great, more yelling.
“Ryan- sit down please.” My stomach dropped. When I looked to her face, I seen she had been crying. She had on no makeup and her hair was a mess.
I slowly walked to a chair, keeping my eyes on my mom to attempt to read her. “Due to yesterday, I got a phone call this morning. Your case has already been reviewed and you will have to go to juvenile hall…” My face turned white. It felt as if all the blood in my body flowed right out the door.
“No.” I managed to choke out in disbelief.
“But-“ she began, “there’s this camp that offered to take you. This camp will be better than being behind bars. They have a nice program. We’d rather have you go there.”
“All because of that one tiny incident with a cop?”
“But honey, you got charged with assault of a police officer. You’re lucky this camp offered to take you.” Dead silence, about half a minute of it. I played with my thumbs, my body felt numb. I was deep in thought though. This place was going to be pure torture.
“What about school?”
“You only have a month of it left until summer. During that time a torture will visit and help you with your studies.”
“When will I leave?” a tear escaped from my mom. My dad spoke up this time.
“You have a whole day to pack.” He handed me a sheet that was next to the printer. “This is what you can and cannot bring. We’re driving you there tomorrow.”
I was still dreaming, I had to be.