Second Chance

Gena’s POV

We sit in silence in Annabelle’s kitchen. She’s keeps twirling her coffee cup while staring into oblivion, without even blinking. She’s been doing that for a while now. It took me almost 2 hours to calm her down. I think she stopped crying because she ran out of tears. I’m afraid to ask her anything, even though I’m dying to know what the hell happened back there. All I know that the minute I walked into the living room, Brian was apologizing for something, Matt looked like he wanted to kill her & she just bolted out of the room.

“I’m sorry, Gena” She says, staring at the countertop.

“Why are you apologizing to me?” I ask her & she just lets out a sigh. “What the fuck happened in there, Anna? Why were you crying?” I ask her & she just bites her lip. “I want the truth this time” I say, taking the courage to finally get some answers.

“I screwed up” She says, looking at me. Her big brown eyes are still glossy from all the hours she has spent crying. “You’re gonna hate me” She says in a whisper before running her finger through her hair. I stay silent, wondering what the hell she’s talking about. I know it has something to do with Brian… but I was not ready for what she was about to confess. “A few years back, Brian & I, we…” She stops, struggling with her words. “We kinda had something” She says, glancing rapidly at me. I furrow my brow in confusion. “We… well… we slept together” She says, her dropping to a faint whisper, in hopes that I didn’t catch her words. I stare at her with a blank face. What so wrong with that? They used to sleep together all the time. I don’t see the problem. She must’ve known what I was thinking cuz she rolled her eyes & dropped the bomb. “We had sex” She says & I feel my body temperature drop a few degrees.

“You… w-what?” I ask, barely able to make my own words come out of my mouth.

“We slept together… the day before… the day before his wedding” She says & turns to look at me. My mouth is open, my eyes wide. To say I’m shocked it’s an understatement. I’m beyond shocked! There isn’t a word to describe how I feel at the moment. “See… I told you that you would hate me too. I already have Jimmy & Matt doing it, so might as well join my fan club” She says, standing up & starting to walk towards her living room. The good thing about lofts are the open spaces, so I just turn in the stool that I’m sitting at & watch her sit on her couch, pulling her knees up & her forehead on top of them, while her arms wrapped around her calves. I stay in my spot, watching her, not knowing how to feel or what to say.

I mean, I always knew that Brian & she had some kind of special bond, not just a friendly kinda bond. It looked so much more than that. I always thought they would end up together & living happily ever after like all those Disney movies that I used to watch when I was a kid. But when Brian proposed to Michelle, I thought that maybe I was wrong, that maybe they were just 2 friends that loved each other in such a special way that us, mere mortals, never get to experience. But I was wrong. Even when my gut told me that I was just kidding myself, that they were meant to be together, I pushed those thoughts aside. All along, I was right.

Not even Zacky believed me. He even laughed at me one time, when I told him that Annabelle & Brian would make such a cute couple & that Brian shouldn’t married Michelle, but marry Anna instead. & Zack just told me that because I haven’t had been for the entire time they’ve been friends, I didn’t quite ‘get’ their relationship. That if Anna & Brian haven’t known each other since they were little, they would hate each other.

But I got to know Anna. I know her like I have known her for my entire life. I know the kind person she is. How sweet & nice she is to everybody, even the persons to try to bring her down. Proof of that is that she’s working with the girl that made her life hell in high school & now are good friends. She’s always trying to make everybody happy & even when she can’t make it happen, she always keeps a smile on her face & tries harder. She gets along with everybody. Just by the way the guys treat her, like their little sister, you can see that she has something really special in her. It’s not easy to get into the guys close & personal circle of friends. Michelle had a really hard time. Zacky wasn’t a particular fan of her, which used to cause a lot of problems with Brian, Val & eventually Matt. But Anna… you can see how she just fits with them. She jokes around with them, she gets drunk with them, she even scolds them. She’s just… Anna. You can’t hate Anna. Not even when she slept with Brian.

I get up from my sit & go to where she’s sitting. I place my hand on her back & she lifts her head, turning to look at me.

“I don’t hate you, Anna” I say softly, while rubbing her back. She looks almost shocked at my words. “I know you. I know that, for you to have done something like that, you must have a really good reason. You wouldn’t do it just for the spite of it. & I know you’re way classier than to have a random one night stand with your best friend, or with anyone for that matter” I say, immediately thinking about how Michelle & Brian got together. Even when they have known each other for years, they got together because of 2 drunken hook ups. I love Michelle, but I can’t picture Anna doing something like that. She’s way better than that. “Mind to tell me how it happened. I mean… I don’t want all the details of that night” I say, & she smiles. I can see that she’s devastated, that she’s hurt & that she feels ashamed for her actions, but knowing someone is hurting like that, but can find the strength to smile, it gives me hope. “I just want to know the reason”

“Well… I guess him proposing ignited everything” She says. “Nothing changed between us… but something was changing in me… my feelings for him where changing &… I started doing things around him that I would never do in front of anyone. I sang in front of him for fuck’s sakes. Do you know how horrible of a singer I am?” She says & I nod my head. She’s not horrible but she ain’t a Christina Aguilera either. “I only sing to my nephews because they think I’m cool. But when I broke up with Justin, that’s when I started to freak out… because I stayed for him. I mean, I stayed for all of you that Thanksgiving… but especially for him. I… I couldn’t even bare the idea of leaving him. Even though if it was just for a weekend” She says & I remember that afternoon. She was so… not her. & she wasn’t sad because of Justin… it was because of Brian. She wasn’t even sad… she looked… scared. “& on Christmas Eve, we almost kissed” She says, & I see her reminiscing that day. “He got jealous because of that stupid Truth & Dare game” She says, shaking her head softly.

“When you confessed that Jason was you’re first kiss” I say, everything clicking in my head. I remember that night so well. How can I forget making out with Annabelle? She’s one hell of a kisser. Jason taught her well.

“Yeah. I told him I broke up with Justin, leaving the details out, of course. & we realized we were standing underneath fucking mistletoe. He wanted to prove to me that he was a better kisser than Jason… & we almost kissed until Michelle screamed Brian’s name. That’s when I came back down from cloud 9. But I got the feeling that… he wanted to kiss me for another reason, you know? It didn’t felt like it was because of him being jealous… it was like he really wanted it” She says & I’m taking all of it in. I never thought that this was building for such a long time. I always thought they would realize it one day & the next day they would scream it to the world & get married. But never thought it was a process. They had the feelings, but never realized them. “& while I was here in New York, working with Gerard, I ran into an old school mate & she started telling me about how her & her husband had this gallery & wanted to expand”

“That’s when they offered you the job” I cut in. She nods. “That’s why you spent New Year here” I add & she nods.

“I was dreading telling you guys about it. Especially Brian. & I tried. God knows I tried… but how do you tell someone you love that you’re moving across country? & when Matt found out, his reaction scared the hell out of me. He made me feel like shit for trying to experience something on my own. That’s why I didn’t tell him. I didn’t want to be the one to break his heart… to break my heart. But when I did… that’s when everything went downhill. The fights started. The whole Vegas incident made me realize that him & I were just a dream. Something I created in my head to try & find an excuse to stay. But the best way I thought I could forget him, was by leaving” She says & I see tears starting to fall from her eyes. “But he asked me to stay” She says, letting out a small sob. I wrap my arms around her, feeling like crying too. “He kissed me & asked me to stay” She says on my shoulder. I let her go & wipe her tears.

“Anna, its ok” I say, trying to comfort her.

“& I said yes. Because I love him” She says, not even realizing what she just said. She said ‘love’ not ‘loved’. “& he was willing to call everything off until Jimmy appeared & made me change my mind. I walked away from him, Gena. He asked me to stay & I walked away. & on the wedding day, when he left the altar & I chased him… Jimmy changed his mind. I begged him to stay & to not get married… but he did. So I just left” She says. “I’m sorry, Gena. I’m a horrible friend” She says, choking with her tears.

“No, you’re not. You’re an amazing friend, Anna. & what you did… it takes a lot of courage. You fought for him until the last minute. He’s the one that fucked up… not you” I say to her, speaking from my heart. “It’s killing me to see you like this. To see you… repeating the same mistake he made” I say & she looks at me shocked. “You still love him” I add & I see her starting to reply but I beat her on the spot. “Don’t try to say you don’t because you do. You will always love him. & he loves you too. You can just see it. I just want you to be sure that what you’re doing, marrying John, it’s what you really want to do. Don’t do it to forget Brian. Do it because you love John” I say & I see her ponder on my words.

She doesn’t belong with John. I have no doubt in my mind that he’s a nice kid & loves Annabelle… but he’s not the one that’s gonna make Anna happy. She has just tricked her mind into believing that he makes her happy. She believes she’s happy with him. & I know that, partially, she is. But just not as happy as she would be if she were with Brian. You don’t know how happy you can be until you’re with the person you’re meant to spend the rest of your life. I don’t want Annabelle to be as miserable as Brian is. He’s stuck with a girl he doesn’t love & watching the girl that he loves getting married to someone else, when he had the chance to be that guy.

“It’s too late” She says, wiping her tears & standing. I open my mouth, but immediately close it when she starts speaking again. “Stop it, Gena. I don’t want to hear it. I don’t want to hear about any of this anymore. This will the last time I ever speak about this. I’m gonna marry John & I’m gonna enjoy my life with him. Brian & I… we… we’re over. It’s over for us” She says, turning around & walking up the stairs to her bedroom. I stay put, not following her. She needs her space. I understand that. But she has to understand too… that I’m not gonna let her fuck the rest of her life just because she’s scared. I’m not gonna let her make the biggest mistake in her life… she’s not gonna marry John.