Wake Me From the Dead
I've Watched It All Go By
Inside the boy, all sense of time had stopped, and the grey sky shimmered with the electricity of rebellion and its pain mixed with the essential beauty of young love. The stars from the coming night sky lived in both of their eyes and there they would never burn out, only collide to become supernovas in some atomic lovers embrace, buzzing with the energy of ten thousand suns. Hatter had never felt for a second in his life that he actually belonged anywhere, but in this one glorious moment, he knew that this was where he belonged; Hatter needed to be right here, or wherever Alice was. This was the kind of perfection of feeling he had been searching for all those lonely nights in other women’s beds. The kind of emotion you cannot possibly explain, but one that washes over you like a wave when the other person does nothing more than smiles. Oh and then their touch can send a rush of air exiting your lungs and has your heart beating at unheard of rates of speed. And all you can do is want more and more forever, because it is like the worst kind of drug. Tucked away in your own little heaven, the two of you can worship you own private gods in the other’s embrace and nothing in the world can touch you. There is a lost quality to the future that speaks of tearing lovers apart at the seams, but in this heaven there are not two people but one - one heart that beats for both individuals, making them fuse into one and creating the most beautiful of things.
Did the gods of old ever know of such heavenly things? Of the feeling of a love without boundaries, held together by the simplicity of a single feeling between two people. There is a sordid jealously between humans and the things that created them, because it is said that even in all their ethereal beauty the gods cannot love the way we humans do. Perhaps it is the ability to give a part of ourselves away that sets us apart, or the naïve hope that some things can last forever, even transcending death. Their love could have been such a thing, one of those timeless things that writers create and something that people only wish they could believe in. When the lovers are torn apart by some wicked turn of the war, the ghost of their love follows each one, whispering the wishes of the other, keeping them tied together by a single tiny thread of life. Hatter wanted to hide away inside of this belief, one that only this instant seemed tangible enough to grasp in his own world. He wanted to give Alice everything there was inside of him, all of the bad and the good, and maybe once he had done this there would be nothing left to protect when it was over. He had forgotten in all this time what it was he was even searching for, but now he knew, it had been her.
It was not even him making the advance towards the girl; he was outside of his body watching the whole scene play out before him. But all the same there was that silly, childish little smile on his face and he would say that he liked what he saw, because it was like some vivid dream and not even the best of authors could make this kind of thing up. Their overactive imaginations had taken over their bodies and they were happy to let them, for once in their lives because the beauty of it all was too much to bear alone. Tonight she would go home and cry for the beauty they had lost, and maybe he would too; Hatter didn’t know anything about himself anymore because apparently this war had changed more than just his outward appearance. He was an intense ball of tension before he lifted her up towards the sky with him, acting as though they might be able to fly away with all their foolish hopes and dreams. But, once she was within his arms, there was nothing but the care of a tender lover and her body was so close to his that he could smell the faint traces of her perfume and the soap she used to bathe with. It was almost intoxicating, this moment in all its innocent glory, that nothing could touch them, not even the oppressive air that surrounded them.
Her thin and willowy little body was dwarfed in his hulking embrace, all those twitching muscles trying their best not to crush her the way they had been trained to do. All of that outward strength was a defense to protect the most important muscle in the boy’s body, his heart, from harm, even if it was in a metaphorical way. Sill, he knew than Alice could not hurt him, even though it had been but a moment, Hatter was acutely aware of the fact that the girl was just as vulnerable as he was. His own heart was pounding uncontrollably in his chest, the same way it had been when he’d come to the static realization that everyone in his team had died, leaving him alone in this strange place. Every single one of his nerves was a vibrant beacon of feeling, sensing the softness of her skin and clothing upon his bare arms, and the warmth from her body against his chest made breathing difficult. He chuckled at her surprise, not even meaning to but his body was numb and anything that came out of it now was incomprehensibly vague in the boys own mind. Alice’s trust in him made Hatter even bolder, and when she pressed her face into his neck, he buried his own into the depths of her dark hair, memorizing the smell of the girl he would soon have to give up. And then the searing heat of her arms around him was almost more than the child could bear, because he had held out this long on kissing her, and he did not know how much longer it would be possible for him to do so.
Oh and then the girl did the unthinkable and spoke in her enamoring little voice and Hatter was caught up in it before he could even understand what it was exactly that she had even said. She was too brave, of this, David was utterly convinced and he wanted nothing more than to protect her for the rest of her life so that she did not have to be so brave, so that she could return to being the child she so obviously was. Her kiss was almost painful for him, her fingers burning a trail across his jaw line and down his neck, and she had broken the rules by doing so. Not that the boy minded in the least, he just could not leave it at that and so he nudged her slightly so that her lips were on his now, leaving him breathless and wanting more. But, as if to shatter their little alternate reality, a cool, pulsing rain began to seep into their consciousness and Hatter became aware enough to break their irreverent kiss to look up at the sky through it. The thick, murky silver clouds had given up their fight and let the rain fall into their dirty, broken world in hopes that it might clean their sins away, but the only thing it could wash away were their inhibitions, and brashly Hatter swung Alice around in a sweeping circle before looking down at her, still in his arms, once more. ”Don’t you go trying to be brave again, do you hear me? I’ll be brave enough for the both of us.”
He had to let her down then, afraid that she might feel uncomfortable for some strange reason, as he suddenly became strangely self-conscious. Pulling her against him again and enveloping the girl in his strong arms, though whether to keep her dry or just to feel her fragile little body against his again he was not sure, Hatter smiled and lowered his head so that they were close, cheeks once again touching. ”I think it’s raining.” It was a stupid thing to say, he knew it, but there was nothing else within him to explain that depth of this moment.
Did the gods of old ever know of such heavenly things? Of the feeling of a love without boundaries, held together by the simplicity of a single feeling between two people. There is a sordid jealously between humans and the things that created them, because it is said that even in all their ethereal beauty the gods cannot love the way we humans do. Perhaps it is the ability to give a part of ourselves away that sets us apart, or the naïve hope that some things can last forever, even transcending death. Their love could have been such a thing, one of those timeless things that writers create and something that people only wish they could believe in. When the lovers are torn apart by some wicked turn of the war, the ghost of their love follows each one, whispering the wishes of the other, keeping them tied together by a single tiny thread of life. Hatter wanted to hide away inside of this belief, one that only this instant seemed tangible enough to grasp in his own world. He wanted to give Alice everything there was inside of him, all of the bad and the good, and maybe once he had done this there would be nothing left to protect when it was over. He had forgotten in all this time what it was he was even searching for, but now he knew, it had been her.
It was not even him making the advance towards the girl; he was outside of his body watching the whole scene play out before him. But all the same there was that silly, childish little smile on his face and he would say that he liked what he saw, because it was like some vivid dream and not even the best of authors could make this kind of thing up. Their overactive imaginations had taken over their bodies and they were happy to let them, for once in their lives because the beauty of it all was too much to bear alone. Tonight she would go home and cry for the beauty they had lost, and maybe he would too; Hatter didn’t know anything about himself anymore because apparently this war had changed more than just his outward appearance. He was an intense ball of tension before he lifted her up towards the sky with him, acting as though they might be able to fly away with all their foolish hopes and dreams. But, once she was within his arms, there was nothing but the care of a tender lover and her body was so close to his that he could smell the faint traces of her perfume and the soap she used to bathe with. It was almost intoxicating, this moment in all its innocent glory, that nothing could touch them, not even the oppressive air that surrounded them.
Her thin and willowy little body was dwarfed in his hulking embrace, all those twitching muscles trying their best not to crush her the way they had been trained to do. All of that outward strength was a defense to protect the most important muscle in the boy’s body, his heart, from harm, even if it was in a metaphorical way. Sill, he knew than Alice could not hurt him, even though it had been but a moment, Hatter was acutely aware of the fact that the girl was just as vulnerable as he was. His own heart was pounding uncontrollably in his chest, the same way it had been when he’d come to the static realization that everyone in his team had died, leaving him alone in this strange place. Every single one of his nerves was a vibrant beacon of feeling, sensing the softness of her skin and clothing upon his bare arms, and the warmth from her body against his chest made breathing difficult. He chuckled at her surprise, not even meaning to but his body was numb and anything that came out of it now was incomprehensibly vague in the boys own mind. Alice’s trust in him made Hatter even bolder, and when she pressed her face into his neck, he buried his own into the depths of her dark hair, memorizing the smell of the girl he would soon have to give up. And then the searing heat of her arms around him was almost more than the child could bear, because he had held out this long on kissing her, and he did not know how much longer it would be possible for him to do so.
Oh and then the girl did the unthinkable and spoke in her enamoring little voice and Hatter was caught up in it before he could even understand what it was exactly that she had even said. She was too brave, of this, David was utterly convinced and he wanted nothing more than to protect her for the rest of her life so that she did not have to be so brave, so that she could return to being the child she so obviously was. Her kiss was almost painful for him, her fingers burning a trail across his jaw line and down his neck, and she had broken the rules by doing so. Not that the boy minded in the least, he just could not leave it at that and so he nudged her slightly so that her lips were on his now, leaving him breathless and wanting more. But, as if to shatter their little alternate reality, a cool, pulsing rain began to seep into their consciousness and Hatter became aware enough to break their irreverent kiss to look up at the sky through it. The thick, murky silver clouds had given up their fight and let the rain fall into their dirty, broken world in hopes that it might clean their sins away, but the only thing it could wash away were their inhibitions, and brashly Hatter swung Alice around in a sweeping circle before looking down at her, still in his arms, once more. ”Don’t you go trying to be brave again, do you hear me? I’ll be brave enough for the both of us.”
He had to let her down then, afraid that she might feel uncomfortable for some strange reason, as he suddenly became strangely self-conscious. Pulling her against him again and enveloping the girl in his strong arms, though whether to keep her dry or just to feel her fragile little body against his again he was not sure, Hatter smiled and lowered his head so that they were close, cheeks once again touching. ”I think it’s raining.” It was a stupid thing to say, he knew it, but there was nothing else within him to explain that depth of this moment.