Wake Me From the Dead
Was It Really True
He was comfortable among the ruined buildings and the oppressive silence because it was like home used to be. Perhaps not so much the desecrated landscape with its desiccated grass and dry dirt roads or broken windows and doors leading into abandoned buildings, but certainly that heavy sort of quiet that his father had always used to punish him with. But change sometimes does that, it can destroy places and lives alike - rips things apart until they are totally unrecognizable. It had done that to Hatter in a way; resistance had changed Hatter so much, not only the death of his brother but just the things that he had seen. It had made him slightly more aware of the fact that he was alone, had given him light where it had always been dark and had pushed him closer to the people he met. Maybe it had been for the worse since he was rarely trusted on either side of the resistance, yet he was still here, wandering the streets, waiting for new opportunities or a reason to change. He hadn’t, however, given up on that recklessly wild soul of his, the very same one that had pushed him out of that girl’s bed this morning and into someone’s presence who could actually see him for something more than a handsome face.
He was a man and every man needed to be understood as just that - he was flesh and blood, wandering through life without a real reason. It was like he was waiting for God to give him a reason to live again, while doing much more deceiving than their God could ever have wanted. Not that he put any stock in an entity that allowed his father, brother and closest friends to die while he survived. There was a vast, gaping hole that Hatter filled with guilt inside of him, building walls around it so that no one knew he felt this way. It was funny how such a seemingly nonchalant person could really be so broken inside. In some ways Wonderland mirrored the feeling the Hatter had about life at the moment - that is simply wasn’t worth living. A pulling feeling deep in his gut knew that there was trouble in other places, and Hatter was glad for once not to be in the middle of it. He had needed this period of rest, even if it hadn’t been at home the way he’d wanted. Of course there wasn’t much of a home left anymore since both his father and brother Clint were dead and he wasn’t there to lend a hand. Money was tight and the workers were threatening to quit and without her men, Hatter didn’t know what his mother was going to do.
But she was a thought the boy had to push to the back of his mind because it wasn’t healthy for him to dwell on the things he couldn’t fix. Practically thudding to the ground, Hatter allowed the thought of the pavement beneath his feet to center him. The world around him did not exist; there was no Queen & her tea, no resistance, no home, no shimmering summer mist, just David and his breathing and his feet pounding in time with his heart and the blood flowing through his veins. He watched the cracked sidewalk slide away, and reached out to touch a crumbling wall just to feel the sharp points catching at his skin. The pain made this life real, made him remember that he was alive and in this one moment there was nothing else that mattered. His body still ached from falling from the sky and hitting the ground, from carrying more weight than was ever necessary, but it made him feel human and vulnerable in a good way. And it was because he was so caught up in this one moment of inward reflection that Hatter did not hear her coming up behind him.
It was not like the boy, especially out in any public place to allow his mind to wander from anything other than his surroundings. He was always acutely aware of the things going on around him because at any moment someone could try to kill him. She crashed into him as if he was a wall, and his body absorbed her weight, which was not what startled him into turning around. Rather it was her scream; he heard it likening it to a distressed child, and wheeled around to face her. His face was not angry or even surprised, so why did she apologize so many times? She did in fact look like a scared little child, her arms wrapped tightly around her small frame, making her look smaller than she actually was perhaps. He was confused for a moment, had the immense desire to grab her and hold her to stop her from shaking, but Hatter was sure that kind of action would only scare the girl more. And this was the kind of thing that scared Hatter about himself because months ago he wouldn’t have given a damn about this girl, would have kept walking and not even looked at her. But he did care, because clearly she was shaken up for some reason that did not entirely have to do with her bumping into him.
Tilting his head slightly, Hatter watched her with his hazy brown eyes, running a hand through his tousled locks before placing his hands on her arms and shaking his head. ”Don’t apologize, please.” His voice was soft in an unfamiliar way and he stooped a bit so they were eye to eye. ”Are you ok? You really shouldn’t be out here alone, it’s not safe” His voice was lilting in that way common to Wonderland, and he smiled slightly to covey the fact that he was not going to hurt her. But he realized that touching her might do just that, so he dropped her arms and straightened himself, brushing his shirt off in nervous anticipation of how she would react. He was not innocent looking as some boys were, although he did have those boyishly long lashes and that invitingly handsome face working to his advantage. He didn’t want the girl getting hurt out here, so hopefully she would allow him to help her.
He was a man and every man needed to be understood as just that - he was flesh and blood, wandering through life without a real reason. It was like he was waiting for God to give him a reason to live again, while doing much more deceiving than their God could ever have wanted. Not that he put any stock in an entity that allowed his father, brother and closest friends to die while he survived. There was a vast, gaping hole that Hatter filled with guilt inside of him, building walls around it so that no one knew he felt this way. It was funny how such a seemingly nonchalant person could really be so broken inside. In some ways Wonderland mirrored the feeling the Hatter had about life at the moment - that is simply wasn’t worth living. A pulling feeling deep in his gut knew that there was trouble in other places, and Hatter was glad for once not to be in the middle of it. He had needed this period of rest, even if it hadn’t been at home the way he’d wanted. Of course there wasn’t much of a home left anymore since both his father and brother Clint were dead and he wasn’t there to lend a hand. Money was tight and the workers were threatening to quit and without her men, Hatter didn’t know what his mother was going to do.
But she was a thought the boy had to push to the back of his mind because it wasn’t healthy for him to dwell on the things he couldn’t fix. Practically thudding to the ground, Hatter allowed the thought of the pavement beneath his feet to center him. The world around him did not exist; there was no Queen & her tea, no resistance, no home, no shimmering summer mist, just David and his breathing and his feet pounding in time with his heart and the blood flowing through his veins. He watched the cracked sidewalk slide away, and reached out to touch a crumbling wall just to feel the sharp points catching at his skin. The pain made this life real, made him remember that he was alive and in this one moment there was nothing else that mattered. His body still ached from falling from the sky and hitting the ground, from carrying more weight than was ever necessary, but it made him feel human and vulnerable in a good way. And it was because he was so caught up in this one moment of inward reflection that Hatter did not hear her coming up behind him.
It was not like the boy, especially out in any public place to allow his mind to wander from anything other than his surroundings. He was always acutely aware of the things going on around him because at any moment someone could try to kill him. She crashed into him as if he was a wall, and his body absorbed her weight, which was not what startled him into turning around. Rather it was her scream; he heard it likening it to a distressed child, and wheeled around to face her. His face was not angry or even surprised, so why did she apologize so many times? She did in fact look like a scared little child, her arms wrapped tightly around her small frame, making her look smaller than she actually was perhaps. He was confused for a moment, had the immense desire to grab her and hold her to stop her from shaking, but Hatter was sure that kind of action would only scare the girl more. And this was the kind of thing that scared Hatter about himself because months ago he wouldn’t have given a damn about this girl, would have kept walking and not even looked at her. But he did care, because clearly she was shaken up for some reason that did not entirely have to do with her bumping into him.
Tilting his head slightly, Hatter watched her with his hazy brown eyes, running a hand through his tousled locks before placing his hands on her arms and shaking his head. ”Don’t apologize, please.” His voice was soft in an unfamiliar way and he stooped a bit so they were eye to eye. ”Are you ok? You really shouldn’t be out here alone, it’s not safe” His voice was lilting in that way common to Wonderland, and he smiled slightly to covey the fact that he was not going to hurt her. But he realized that touching her might do just that, so he dropped her arms and straightened himself, brushing his shirt off in nervous anticipation of how she would react. He was not innocent looking as some boys were, although he did have those boyishly long lashes and that invitingly handsome face working to his advantage. He didn’t want the girl getting hurt out here, so hopefully she would allow him to help her.