oh, denial

When Gerard got home he found Mikey sitting in the living room. His little brother was staring at the television, but Gerard could tell that he wasn’t really watching it.

“What are you up to, Mikes?” Gerard asked as he walked toward the couch. He sat down next to his brother and waited for an answer.

“Not much,” Mikey replied. “Did, uh… Did you and Frank have a good time?”

Mikey wanted to sound supportive, but it wasn’t really working. All he could think about was how upset and disappointed Frank had been when he’d walked out of his bedroom. It wasn’t like he planned on hurting his best friend, things just happened to go that way.

“Yeah,” Gerard answered, ripping Mikey from his thoughts. “We had a good time. Would have been more fun if you had tagged along though, you know.”

Michael could see Gerard’s smile and he could tell that he was only trying to make him feel better. Gerard wasn’t good at a lot of things, but he was good at being a big brother. Even though he had a tendency to get on Mikey’s last nerve, he was always there for him. No matter what, Mikey knew he could come to Gerard for anything.

“You’re just saying that.”

Gerard shook his head. “No. Frank was real upset about your fight. I think he would have liked to hang out with you.”

Mikey sighed. “That’s what he said.”

“Then what’s the issue? I know you wanna hang out too.”

“Every time we get together we end up fighting. It’s like… inevitable.”

“What do you fight about?”

Mikey glanced up at his brother. “You. Well, you and him.”

“Michael… I know you think Frank and I aren’t all that good for each other, but you have to accept that Frank can make his own decisions.”

Mikey scoffed, folding his arms. “That’s easy for you to say.”

He knew he was being childish. But at that point, Mikey didn’t care. He was pissed off and angry. He hated the way that things were going. As usual, he never got what he really wanted. So what if it was selfish? All he wanted was one thing and it didn’t happen for him.

“What are you getting at?”

Mikey opened his mouth, and the words were just about to slip through, but he pressed his lips shut before anything could get thrown out into the open. Telling the truth would only make things worse.

“Doesn’t matter,” Mikey said. “I’m done worrying about you and Frank. If he wants to fuck around with you, that’s on him.”

Before Gerard could reply, Mikey had pushed himself up from the couch and was on his way upstairs to his bedroom. He hated the way things were. He hated that Frank had chosen Gerard, a guy he’d just gotten to know, over his best friend.

He hated seeing them together.

What Mikey longed to know was why Frank hadn’t picked him. What made Gerard so great? He and Frank had been friends for years. They knew each other better than they knew themselves. If you’re going to date anyone, it should be your best friend, not his brother. Then again, maybe that’s where Mikey had gone wrong.

Maybe, you’re not supposed to fall in love with your best friend.