Status: Sequel On The Way
A Whole Lot of Jackass
Chapter Nine
"Were are your suitcases Low?" Jeff shouted across the office as I sat on a blue, squishy been bag. It was weird being in work on a Saturday!
"In the van." The reason I needed suitcases, was because casting calls for the "Jackass" cast begun today. It had been two weeks since the meeting now and with, what seemed at the time, endless planning been done, we had the next 2 and a half weeks to tour the USA. Yay. This was our schedule:
Today - Fly to New York
Sun - New York auditions
Mon - Fly to Kentucky
Tue - Kentucky Auditions
Wed - Fly to Florida
Thu - Florida Auditions
Fri - Florida Auditions
Sat - Fly to Texas
Sun - Texas Auditions
Tue - Fly to Montana
Wed- Montana Auditions
Thu - Fly home to LA
Fri - LA Auditions
I guess you could say it was going to be a long two weeks! And once we got back, we had to decide who to call back and then finally pick the proper cast. Jeff had said we need between 6 - 8 other guys to get the right amount of variety for the show.
"Definitely in the van?" I heard from behind me as my eyes closed and my head fell backwards.
"Yes Jeff definitely in the van"
"You put them in yourself? Or did you leave them on the side walk beside the van?" He was busy rushing around the office getting schedules and tickets ready, unlike me who was clean, packed, and fully ready to go.
"I put them, one big and one small suitcase, in the back of the van. On top of yours and under Kosicks." I sighed, finally lifting my head and looking around the other chairs. There were only 7 of us going; Me, Jeff, Johnny, Spike, Kosicks, Dimitry (Photographer) and Sean.
"Is anyone else hung over?" Johnny asked, i turned my head to look at him.
"You got drunk when you knew you had to be up at 6:00 to catch a flight?"
"Maybe." He pouted, and laughed a little.
"Okay everybody up, come on, let's go!" Spike bellowed as he stomped down the corridor.
"Ow my head!" Johnny moaned.
"At least you have a 6 hour flight to nurse it." I said as I attempted to skip down the hall way and down to the van that was waiting outside the office.
"I bloody hate plane." I mumbled as we sat on the tarmac ready to take of.
"It's not the plane's you hate, it's the waiting." Sean stated from my right. I had the joy of sitting next to Jeff and Sean in the 2, 3, 2 arranged seating.
"Yeah well, it's not as if there's traffic, I mean it's the sky for God's sake!" It was 9 in the morning and I haven't had a coffee since 6am.
Good morning this is your captain speaking. I am pleased to announce we will be on our way to New York very shortly. The flight duration is estimated at around six and a half hours, due to the wind being against us.
"Uhhhhhhhhh" I groaned.
But I hope you have a pleasant flight and stay in New York City, Thank you.
A beep sounded the captains farewell as I laid my head on Jeff's shoulder as he was flipping through a magazine.
"Remind me why I am here again." I mumbled sleepily.
"Because it just wouldn't be the same with out you, why don't you go to sleep?"
"And risk dieing!" Jeff just laughed and kept reading as my eyes slowly started to close and rest.
"LOWRI, WAKE UUUUUUUUUPPPPPPP" Johnny sung in my ears loudly. My eyes started to open and I was met with the gross coloured fabric of the plane seats.
"Fuck off Knoxville." I grumbled, slowly pushing myself up from the seat, stretching my arm and 'accidentally' hitting Kosicks in the face.
"Oh why do I have the feeling them words will be spoke far to often?" Knoxville asked himself.
"Come on, were here." Someone said from behind me.
"I slept through six hours?"
"Yep and talked, who's Rob and where's the fantasy factory?" Johnny laughed.
"I don't know." I laughed along with him before pushing myself up and following the rest of the guys off the plane.
"Guys my luggage is lost, I'm telling you now my luggage is gone!" Kosicks complained while we stood in the airport next to the carousel.
"Kosicks it isn't lost! Although it could hurry it's ass up a bit."
"Low get off the trolley before I flatten you!" I jumped up just as Jeff through a suitcase on one of the trolleys we had. "Shouldn't you be getting your luggage?"
"Knox is getting it."
"Go get it yourself and stop ordering him around." Jeff ordered in a motherly way. I trotted over to where Johnny was and waited with him until our luggage came. Finally it did arrive and we left the airport in taxi's that took us to the hotel. hopefully tomorrow would bring a lot of great people!
Registration held at 12:00pm - 1:00pm
Auditions held from 1:00pm - 4:00pm
That is what the sign that hung on the door read. The auditions were being held in a small town hall, in the center of New York. There was a canny long line of people ready to audition for us, but only some of them looked respectable. The seven of us sat in a line along a long table and there was a desk, a chair and space for people to perform their 'talents' for us.
"Ready for the first one?" A guy that was helping us asked as he popped his head around the door.
"Yeah, send them in." Spike said. About a minute later a guy with long black hair, dark eyes, and baggy clothes came in. He was also carrying a large brown sack in his left hand.
"Hi, what's your name?" I asked. The guy looked across at me and smiled.
"Eric."
"What you gonna do?" He didn't answer straight away but instead reached his hand into the sack and pulled out a large metal sword. My eyes widened and I looked across at Spike, who was sat next to me, to see the exact same expression.
"Swallow swords."
"Have you done it before?" I asked worryingly.
"Yes." He laughed, "Don't worry."
"Oh I'm not." Scratching my head, I turned to Johnny who was sat to the other side of me. "Tell me when he's finished." Knoxville laughed before wincing, not being able to control myself I looked back to see him struggling to swallow even a fifth of the sword. I could hear Jeff trying to stifle his laughter but not doing a very good job at it.
"Erm, I don't think your what we are looking for." Spike said trying to end the trauma. I heard the sword being pulled out and winced sticking my tongue out, trying not to gag.
"Now don't be sick Low"
"Sick,I'm never sick!" I said while swallowing. Eric quickly left the room and it wasn't long before many hopeful, young and old people came in a and did numerous talents for us but non of them were really quite Jackass. Some would skate but none of them were really good,some would do stunts but 90% of them went wrong and the the ones that didn't were simple one. But before we knew it the casting call had come to an end and it was time for us to make our way back to the hotel.
"Well that was a productive day!" Kosicks cheered as we sat around in Jeff and Spikes room.
"Well at least we know what to expect 75% of the time now." Sean said from the chair by the small desk.
"You know, out of every where I thought New York would be the place for someone to show up." I pitched in.
"Well New York isn't always what it seems!" We all sat around with beers, not really looking forward to the next two weeks.
"What times our flight tomorrow?" I asked.
"1:00pm, it'll only take a couple of hours so it's not to bad."
'Well that's fine!' I thought and sat up from my laying position on the bed. "Right! I'm going to bed. Good night guys." I got numerous replies until a voice stood out saying,
"I'll go too." I turned around to see Johnny standing up and walking toward me. "Goodnight guys" We both stepped out into the hall and started to walk towards my door.
"You going to walk me to my door." He shrugged.
"You look like you could handle yourself." He replied laughing.
"Thanks very much." I giggled, we got to my door which was only a two doors down from Jeff's and was the one across from Johnny and Dimitry's. "What's your real name by the way?" I asked.
"Phillip John Clapp"
"So Johnny ahhh..." I sung realizing where Johnny came from, "But where does the Knoxville part come from?"
"I grew up in Knoxville Tennessee, moved here to become an actor."
"Ahhhhh clever. I like it. But I like PJ better!" He laughed and dropped his head.
"Your going to call me that aren't you?"
"Yep!" I giggled.
"Okay. Well good night Lowri!" He said walking to his room.
"Night...PJ!" I laughed before entering my room and getting ready for bed. Sitting in bed thinking about tomorrow, I fell into a peaceful sleep for the night.
"In the van." The reason I needed suitcases, was because casting calls for the "Jackass" cast begun today. It had been two weeks since the meeting now and with, what seemed at the time, endless planning been done, we had the next 2 and a half weeks to tour the USA. Yay. This was our schedule:
Today - Fly to New York
Sun - New York auditions
Mon - Fly to Kentucky
Tue - Kentucky Auditions
Wed - Fly to Florida
Thu - Florida Auditions
Fri - Florida Auditions
Sat - Fly to Texas
Sun - Texas Auditions
Tue - Fly to Montana
Wed- Montana Auditions
Thu - Fly home to LA
Fri - LA Auditions
I guess you could say it was going to be a long two weeks! And once we got back, we had to decide who to call back and then finally pick the proper cast. Jeff had said we need between 6 - 8 other guys to get the right amount of variety for the show.
"Definitely in the van?" I heard from behind me as my eyes closed and my head fell backwards.
"Yes Jeff definitely in the van"
"You put them in yourself? Or did you leave them on the side walk beside the van?" He was busy rushing around the office getting schedules and tickets ready, unlike me who was clean, packed, and fully ready to go.
"I put them, one big and one small suitcase, in the back of the van. On top of yours and under Kosicks." I sighed, finally lifting my head and looking around the other chairs. There were only 7 of us going; Me, Jeff, Johnny, Spike, Kosicks, Dimitry (Photographer) and Sean.
"Is anyone else hung over?" Johnny asked, i turned my head to look at him.
"You got drunk when you knew you had to be up at 6:00 to catch a flight?"
"Maybe." He pouted, and laughed a little.
"Okay everybody up, come on, let's go!" Spike bellowed as he stomped down the corridor.
"Ow my head!" Johnny moaned.
"At least you have a 6 hour flight to nurse it." I said as I attempted to skip down the hall way and down to the van that was waiting outside the office.
"I bloody hate plane." I mumbled as we sat on the tarmac ready to take of.
"It's not the plane's you hate, it's the waiting." Sean stated from my right. I had the joy of sitting next to Jeff and Sean in the 2, 3, 2 arranged seating.
"Yeah well, it's not as if there's traffic, I mean it's the sky for God's sake!" It was 9 in the morning and I haven't had a coffee since 6am.
Good morning this is your captain speaking. I am pleased to announce we will be on our way to New York very shortly. The flight duration is estimated at around six and a half hours, due to the wind being against us.
"Uhhhhhhhhh" I groaned.
But I hope you have a pleasant flight and stay in New York City, Thank you.
A beep sounded the captains farewell as I laid my head on Jeff's shoulder as he was flipping through a magazine.
"Remind me why I am here again." I mumbled sleepily.
"Because it just wouldn't be the same with out you, why don't you go to sleep?"
"And risk dieing!" Jeff just laughed and kept reading as my eyes slowly started to close and rest.
"LOWRI, WAKE UUUUUUUUUPPPPPPP" Johnny sung in my ears loudly. My eyes started to open and I was met with the gross coloured fabric of the plane seats.
"Fuck off Knoxville." I grumbled, slowly pushing myself up from the seat, stretching my arm and 'accidentally' hitting Kosicks in the face.
"Oh why do I have the feeling them words will be spoke far to often?" Knoxville asked himself.
"Come on, were here." Someone said from behind me.
"I slept through six hours?"
"Yep and talked, who's Rob and where's the fantasy factory?" Johnny laughed.
"I don't know." I laughed along with him before pushing myself up and following the rest of the guys off the plane.
"Guys my luggage is lost, I'm telling you now my luggage is gone!" Kosicks complained while we stood in the airport next to the carousel.
"Kosicks it isn't lost! Although it could hurry it's ass up a bit."
"Low get off the trolley before I flatten you!" I jumped up just as Jeff through a suitcase on one of the trolleys we had. "Shouldn't you be getting your luggage?"
"Knox is getting it."
"Go get it yourself and stop ordering him around." Jeff ordered in a motherly way. I trotted over to where Johnny was and waited with him until our luggage came. Finally it did arrive and we left the airport in taxi's that took us to the hotel. hopefully tomorrow would bring a lot of great people!
Registration held at 12:00pm - 1:00pm
Auditions held from 1:00pm - 4:00pm
That is what the sign that hung on the door read. The auditions were being held in a small town hall, in the center of New York. There was a canny long line of people ready to audition for us, but only some of them looked respectable. The seven of us sat in a line along a long table and there was a desk, a chair and space for people to perform their 'talents' for us.
"Ready for the first one?" A guy that was helping us asked as he popped his head around the door.
"Yeah, send them in." Spike said. About a minute later a guy with long black hair, dark eyes, and baggy clothes came in. He was also carrying a large brown sack in his left hand.
"Hi, what's your name?" I asked. The guy looked across at me and smiled.
"Eric."
"What you gonna do?" He didn't answer straight away but instead reached his hand into the sack and pulled out a large metal sword. My eyes widened and I looked across at Spike, who was sat next to me, to see the exact same expression.
"Swallow swords."
"Have you done it before?" I asked worryingly.
"Yes." He laughed, "Don't worry."
"Oh I'm not." Scratching my head, I turned to Johnny who was sat to the other side of me. "Tell me when he's finished." Knoxville laughed before wincing, not being able to control myself I looked back to see him struggling to swallow even a fifth of the sword. I could hear Jeff trying to stifle his laughter but not doing a very good job at it.
"Erm, I don't think your what we are looking for." Spike said trying to end the trauma. I heard the sword being pulled out and winced sticking my tongue out, trying not to gag.
"Now don't be sick Low"
"Sick,I'm never sick!" I said while swallowing. Eric quickly left the room and it wasn't long before many hopeful, young and old people came in a and did numerous talents for us but non of them were really quite Jackass. Some would skate but none of them were really good,some would do stunts but 90% of them went wrong and the the ones that didn't were simple one. But before we knew it the casting call had come to an end and it was time for us to make our way back to the hotel.
"Well that was a productive day!" Kosicks cheered as we sat around in Jeff and Spikes room.
"Well at least we know what to expect 75% of the time now." Sean said from the chair by the small desk.
"You know, out of every where I thought New York would be the place for someone to show up." I pitched in.
"Well New York isn't always what it seems!" We all sat around with beers, not really looking forward to the next two weeks.
"What times our flight tomorrow?" I asked.
"1:00pm, it'll only take a couple of hours so it's not to bad."
'Well that's fine!' I thought and sat up from my laying position on the bed. "Right! I'm going to bed. Good night guys." I got numerous replies until a voice stood out saying,
"I'll go too." I turned around to see Johnny standing up and walking toward me. "Goodnight guys" We both stepped out into the hall and started to walk towards my door.
"You going to walk me to my door." He shrugged.
"You look like you could handle yourself." He replied laughing.
"Thanks very much." I giggled, we got to my door which was only a two doors down from Jeff's and was the one across from Johnny and Dimitry's. "What's your real name by the way?" I asked.
"Phillip John Clapp"
"So Johnny ahhh..." I sung realizing where Johnny came from, "But where does the Knoxville part come from?"
"I grew up in Knoxville Tennessee, moved here to become an actor."
"Ahhhhh clever. I like it. But I like PJ better!" He laughed and dropped his head.
"Your going to call me that aren't you?"
"Yep!" I giggled.
"Okay. Well good night Lowri!" He said walking to his room.
"Night...PJ!" I laughed before entering my room and getting ready for bed. Sitting in bed thinking about tomorrow, I fell into a peaceful sleep for the night.