Shivering Love

“Your love is cruel…”

Her pale lips quivered, as her teeth chattered, and jingled. Her soft beige skin was gently brushed by the small gust of wind from the skies that were once so bright by the blinding light that shone from tall rectangular lanterns that hung over. Her small frail body collapsed onto the dirty road, the gravel on the ground scraped off her skin causing Amanda’s right cheek to bleed instantly and the stabbing pain on her jaw only reminded her of her own destroyed heart that was left with broken promises.

“I’m so tried…” She whispered lowly before breaking into sobs, “Please forgive me!”

Amanda’s body quaked as she shouted in desperation and fear. She feared the loneliness that dwelled in her heart would consume her very soul, and she feared that she was damned to be left segregated from her only true love - forever.

Her slender hands gripped the small sharp rocks as she attempted to lift herself up with what little strength she had left. Suddenly, her wrist dropped, rubbing against the sharp ends of the gravel; her wrist slit open and the pain shot up her entire body, causing her to fall back down again.

The long narrow road she had traveled, reminded her of life. The paths where she had to taken turns, to go either left or right, reminded her of choices she had made in life, choosing either right or wrong. The rode of bliss she walked was narrow and slim, almost as if it were made for only one person. The darkness engulfed the whole world, casting itself on every aspect of life, like a hand that clenched the world in their mighty palm. Like Chinese lanterns or city streetlights, tall paper candle like lamps, illuminated the thin graveled paths that lead to the promised land by hanging themselves from thin white threads that draped over from the blackness above, that which we call “sky”. For seven long days, Amanda had walked these roads, hoping that she would once reach the end of the light, that which lead to the dead. Her one and only love of her life, Daniel had left the living world with a short breathe of air.

The swirls of memories that laid floating in her soul, haunted her and these were what drove her mad. She was completely lost without him, but who wouldn’t be when not believing in heaven or hell. Amanda however, was raised in believing in the hope of another life after death but as she turned twenty, she was forced to understand the harsh truth of reality, which taught her, that the dead were dead and there was no more to it. The reality, of which she had once lived in, mixed into her illusions; where she found joy in staring aimlessly at the white walls of her room.

If she could give up her life, to see him, then she would but she understood clearly that suicide was frown upon in both society and in God’s eyes. Amanda was a lost soul that still remained faithful to her God, whom she believed was not to blame for Daniel’s death but instead she found herself being grateful to, in receiving the man that once had brought her happiness.

Therefore, it had crossed her mind to ask the same God who had given her life to take it away from her. Everyday before she went to sleep, she begged God to let her stay asleep and not wake up because she did not want to see another day without her love by her side. She continued these prayers until one day; she opened her eyes and saw nothing. She felt nothing. She heard nothing and smelled nothing. The only emotion that filled her body was the happiness of seeing him again that lingered inside of her since his death.

“I will grant your one wish, my dear…” spoke a voice abruptly. Amanda began to get her senses back. Her eyes became appealed to the bright lights that formed a small path in the pitch-black world. Her legs moved guilelessly, landing her first step into the gravel path. And the ground shook, causing the small sharp rocks to quiver as the voice spoke once again.
”I will grant you this wish my dear,” The deep voice spoke again, it’s eerie tone should have made Amanda tremble or shiver at the least, but she had found herself too focused on where the path would lead her to notice that there was something wrong with intension of the voice.

“Follow this path, and it will lead you to the dead, but that is if and only if,” The voice spoke firmly throughout the darkness, “Only if you make it to the end of this rode before the moon turns completely red…”

At that instant, a bright pale moon shined over her gleaming face and brought forth a new source of light to give off to the black world. A dark shadow cast itself over a small portion of the white lunar rock. It tinted the surface crimson red as more bright, lantern lights, began to turn on one by one. These lights that had once formed a single straight path, branched off into other small paths that caused Amanda to jolt in further excitement as they took form and elongated themselves to miles and miles worth of length. She smiled deeply to herself as she continued her steps in walking the blessed rode. Oh, to see him, to touch him, and to feel him once again brought Amanda to walk briskly along the rocky trail. The pumping of her heart, brought images that filled her thoughts, memories that she hoped to relive with Daniel once again; to be able to be with him once more was her only drive of reaching the end of the path and the only reason why tears formed around her eyes.

From time to time, she would look back at the sky, where the moon glittered in not only white but also in red shades as well. Shades that began to move in more and more, leaning closer and closer to cover the moon. But this happened ever so slowly, as if it were a clever secret that it was trying to hide.

Amanda’s feet stopped suddenly as her eyes caught the lantern’s trick. Her gaze jumped from light to light, following the pattern that the lights were making. As more and more candles started to beam up from left and right, Amanda stopped herself from exhaling; she was caught stunned from the wild confusion that the radiance had done. There was no longer one single path, or a branch that led in circles to only end up back at the right track; but like beams of lost souls, these lights were scattered across the darkness. Amanda felt her hopes and dreams vanish as a fiery lump swelled inside her throat. Her entire body froze as she gazed at the glistening beams of light. She turned her eyes to lock onto the moon; she then forced her legs to pump up and down. The bright moon was already half shaded, and she knew that if didn’t find the end of the path then she would never be able to see the man she ever loved again. Seconds had barely passed by but it seemed that the moon was already being consumed by the dreaded color of hate. Screaming in defeat, Amanda pulled at her hair and covered her face in shame with her hands as she fell on her knees.

“Why are you doing this to me?” she groaned in pain, “I have always been faithful to you, so why God?”

There was no sound; no voice. Amanda brought her eyes up to the empty sky as she reached out her hand and whispered, “Your love is cruel…”

Gushing out with blood, Amanda laid thrown on the rocky path while her breaths began to shorten. Her eyes blurred and they rolled up to the moon, where the crimson red had already swallowed it whole, and she could swear she heard a voice before she fell into darkness – forever.