Chasing the Future

I'd already scripted out our next time together in my head.

We’d find ourselves in an unexpected meeting; maybe I’d accidentally bump into Noah walking to a class of mine tomorrow on the first day of school. Or maybe Nora would drag me along into her group of friends and he’d be there, nonchalantly talking to the person next to him. He could be in one of my classes, too. Either way, I was prepared.

Our eyes would meet, our gazes locking for longer than necessary but no one else would notice. Not romantically, of course, but from surprise. He’d wonder if that night was only a figment of his imagination, if that hazy dream was real or fiction. Guilt would push into his mind as he realized it happened, remember our rather unpleasant introduction, apologizes would spill like wildfire. I’d let him adlib this part, but he’d be sorry, and I’d reassure him that it was fine, it’s okay, we’d all drank a little too much sometime in our lives.

I hadn’t. But that was okay. Reassurance was always a lie, anyways. She looked fat, that haircut was a bad idea and yes, everyone saw. It was nice to hear, though.

He’d promise to make it up to me; maybe he’d buy me lunch or something like that. I’d graciously accept. Our paths would cross again. That was how it was going to happen. I knew it.

Just in case, I knocked on Nora’s bedpost.

“So where’d you run off to last night? I was totally freaking out when I couldn’t find you, and then I checked my phone and realized that you left, but still, how’d you get home?” Nora stood in front of her mirror, nose crinkling with distaste as she tried yet another hairstyle- this could break a record, I'm sure- for the next day. She’d invited me over because she was practically bursting with news about the night before, how I had to meet Logan, and how he was so hot.

I didn’t doubt his hotness, not once, but she kept reassuring me he was. Many times. And that she needed to look good tomorrow because he was in her first period class. I thought she looked good all the time. She didn’t believe me.

“I like it when you braid your bangs,” I offered.

She paused, “I think I might do that,” and nodded. “But you’re completely avoiding the question, and yeah, I picked up on that.”

I shrugged casually, flipping onto my back, eyes landing on the ceiling with a million and two inspirational quotes plastered on. The coloured strips resembled a rainbow painted across. I couldn’t imagine how long it took her to pin all of them up, but it was nice to look at. I liked to look at nice things.

“Tyler, I got a ride home from Tyler.”

I turned my head towards her. She cocked an eyebrow. I shrugged. It was true.

“Tyler, like Tyler Sutton?”

“Tyler Sutton,” I confirmed, but I didn’t know if this was true. I only knew one Tyler, and I hoped that it was him. Surely there couldn’t be that many boys named Tyler.

Nora dropped her hair from her makeshift ponytail, allowing it to fall down the length of her back with a frustrated sigh off her lips. She had really long hair, the type most girls would kill for, all the way to her elbows. I remembered her telling me that she’d rather cut it short, it was such a hassle, and only wore it long because her dad liked it.

I liked it too.

“Why’d you leave with him? You didn’t… like…” her voice trailed off, head tilted to the side as our eyes met in the mirror. There was something impish to her gaze that I quickly caught on to.

“No, no, no!” I hastily corrected her, my cheeks flushing slightly while I shook my head vigorously. “It wasn’t anything like that! He took me home with Noah.”

That was the first time I’d said his name out loud, first time I allowed my lips to form around it. I liked the way it felt but I liked a lot of things.

“Okay! Seriously, just tell me everything that happened, no more questions. You better share right now, or I swear, things will not be pretty. It’s like pulling teeth with you.” Laughter danced down her tongue as she ditched her efforts and fell onto the cushioned chair beside her, propping her legs on her bed. The curiosity sparking in her copper eyes was unmistakable.

I wasn’t insulted. I’d heard it before, from my brother, who too was always a curious one. He used to sneak into my room at night, about twice a week, before eleven because he knew I always had trouble sleeping anyways. He’d bring a somewhat offering, usually yoghurt covered pretzels, and ask what was new in my grade, about all the regurgitated drama that always happened. I’d tell him anything that my friends had passed on or I’d overheard in my classes, but only what he asked. He’d always get frustrated and laugh, but it was the type of laugh that I knew he wasn’t mad at me.

Those were the only times I think we’d ever talk to each other. I think I’d miss those times, but I’d miss a lot of things. Sometimes it’s nice because at least there was something important enough to miss in the first place.

“After you had ditched me,” I paused, casting a look to which she smiled cheekily, “I was sitting by myself. Noah came over, said hi, and then puked on me-”

“He did what?” she interrupted with a shout, eyes wide and mouth parted in disbelief. Her face read unacceptable.

“He puked on me,” I repeated.

I know I should've be revolted, and that night a lot of me was, but it was something that I’d mulled over so much that it lost its shock factor and simply became a fact. I’d almost completely forgot about the entire fiasco, concentrating more on our future than our past.

“No! You're shitting me! Are you serious? That is disgusting, oh my god, seriously, ew. What did you do?” She leaned in with interest.

“I didn’t do anything. Tyler came, gave me a Noah’s sweater to wipe it off, and then drove us both home.”

I remembered Tyler dragging a stumbling Noah into his silver car, who only managed to slur a couple of apologies and a few demands that he wanted to go home right then and there. Neither of us was going to deny him that.

Tyler hadn’t drank anything, surprisingly enough, maybe he was expecting this, and rolled his eyes while the both of us pushed Noah into the back. He’d sort of flopped inside like a fish out of water, almost falling off the seat where Tyler had placed a bucket just in case. I remembered his pants falling down and a sliver of his red-and-white striped boxers being revealed.

It reminded me of the candy-canes my dad decorated the Christmas tree with every year.

“How am I not even surprised? Noah’s always pulling dumb shit like that.” Nora rolled her eyes, exactly like Tyler, and I supposed that it wasn’t something unusual for Noah.

It was something that should have made me want to stay away. He was bad news, too much trouble, I had enough to deal with. I should have never wanted to see him again. But I did. I couldn’t explain those things, but I did, and again after that, and again after that.

“He seems alright,” I murmured without thinking, stretching my arms over my head and staring towards the window, sunlight filtering through the blinds. Strips of light stretched across Nora's bed, red and black with Asian characters running up the covers, matching the scarlet walls.

Her eyebrows knitted as she crossed her arms over her chest. “Seriously, Ana, don’t even bother with him. He's got some baggage, believe me," Nora warned me, looking straight into my eyes to convey the importance of her words.

I almost laughed, I should be the last person to codemn baggage. Instead I just nodded my head. Satisfied, she continued with a grin that appeared devilish in nature.

"If anyone, I’d totally hook you up with Austin, he even asked about you yesterday.” She cast a suggestive look and I laughed, throwing a pillow her way, which she caught with a mischievous grin.

“I have to go eat dinner, Austin will have to wait.”

I didn’t want to meet Austin, nothing against the boy, but he didn’t seem like the type who would throw up on my arm when I first met him. And for that reason, however as strange, he couldn’t compare to the boy plaguing my thoughts. Because at least Noah could make an impression, and that was impressive.

Nora disapproved, and maybe I clung onto the thought of him for all the wrong reasons. Maybe Austin was a very nice boy who would be a lot better for me. I didn’t even know why I thought so much about Noah, I hardly knew him. I didn’t even know his last name.

The only reason that I was trying too hard to swallow and forget was because I needed a new beginning, and Noah was the first one to fall into my line of view.

Crossing through the threshold of my house, I wondered what was for dinner. I supposed it would be barbeque, because my grandpa loved cooking on it. He never was that good in the kitchen, either, and so I helped out as much as I could. But he was amazing with a barbeque.

Thunder, an overexcited Husky that had a tendency of drooling on everything, came rushing up to me as always, refusing to let me walk without giving him a good rub down first. I’d grown used to it. Just like the faint smell of too strong cologne and how nothing in the house really worked.

“I’m home,” I called out, pushing past the dog that still begged for any sort of attention.

“Outside!” I heard my grandpa’s voice call back, and found him just as I expected, in front of the barbeque.

He was flipping over some kind of meat, it really all looked the same to me, and wearing the white button down shirt I’d bought him for his birthday the year before. My mom had helped me pick it out because I didn't have the faintest clue when it came to older men's fashion.

“Are you ready for school?” he asked. I nodded.

I figured that with Nora, it wouldn’t be too hard. She said that she’d introduce me to everyone she knew, which seemed to be a lot more people than I would like to know but I didn’t say anything. All I really needed was a place to sit at lunch.

“I’m ready.” I nodded my head, a smile twisting onto my lips.

I reminded myself that this was what I wanted. I wasn’t going to know everyone, I wasn’t going to understand the inside jokes and I wouldn’t be able to tell my brother all about it, but I was okay with that. I was okay with a lot of things, though. Sometimes it felt like the things that I wasn’t okay with outweighed out the ones that I was. And I wasn’t sure if I was okay with that yet.
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I’d met him again in a lunch line. With a cookie in my hand and my money resting on the island that held the cash register, he came up right behind me. I wasn’t ready, I’d forgotten my lines, and I didn’t know what to do. A glance over my shoulder and I knew it was him; the only difference from yesterday was that he wasn’t rocking as much and appeared a lot more sober.

For that reason I felt my stomach churn uncomfortably.

“Noah.”

If I hadn't heard my voice saying it I wouldn't even be sure it was mine.

“Hi?” he said, but it came out more of a question. He seemed confused, something in his eyes telling me that I was a complete stranger to him. Essentially, though, he was a stranger to me too.

I stared. He stared. Neither of us knew what to do.

I hadn't been prepared for him to take this long to remember me. "Um, do you need something?" he asked, giving me a suspicious look, probably rendering me something along the lines of crazy and absolute freak.

I didn't know what to do. Could I turn back? Could I pretend this never happened? The regret instantly began to pulse through my mind, this was a bad idea. I never imagined seeming him in a lunch line. I hadn't prepared for this.

Tyler seemed to be the sliver of hope in our situation as he materialized between us, a broad grin slapped across his face. He clapped my shoulder and laughed, loud and boisterous in my ear. “Hey Noah, don’t you remember throwing up on her?”

It was finally out in the open. Now it was up for the star of the show to salvage what was left. I looked to Noah.

Apparently he hadn’t before, remembered, as his eyes grew wide and just like I’d predicted, guilt washed over his face. “Oh shit, that was you?” he asked. I nodded.

“I’m sorry. Shit, wow. Seriously. So sorry, I swear I didn’t mean to do it, wow, I really am sorry, you know how it is when you drink too much,” he quickly spit out, rummaging through his pockets at the same time as he kept mumbling apologies.

“It’s okay,” I reassured him, just like I knew I would. My lips curved into a smile for an added touch. I knew what was to follow.

“Here, take this, as a sorry,” he pushed a ten dollar bill my face.

Taken aback, I cast him a confused look. This wasn’t supposed to happen; he wasn’t supposed to pay off his debt this quickly. The guilt wasn’t supposed to evaporate this easily. It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

“What?”

He tilted his head to the side, mimicking my bewilderment. “It’s my apology, take the money.”

“I don’t want your money,” I told him. I didn’t.

His money was of no worth to me, unlike the majority of other teens who would probably jump down his throat for the ten. I wanted him to insist that we meet again. That was it, not that much to ask for, but apparently he thought so.

It wasn't that hard of a concept to understand. I knew I should have never let him adlib his part.

“I’ll take it!” Tyler interrupted, but remained ignored as Noah kept insisting I take the money and I kept insisting that I wouldn’t.

“Just take the money,” he once again pushed it towards me, something like irritation bleeding into his voice, grabbed my hand and closed my fingers against the bill before taking off in the other direction.

For a moment I didn't know what to do, I refused to let this end. I wanted the last word, a mindset my mom used to always complain about. I wouldn't be defeated that easily.

Using my quick thinking, I dropped the ten in his hood before he could disappear. Tyler laughed, once again clapping me on the shoulder, before joining his friend of his further up in the line.

I wondered if Noah was going to come back to buy his food, or if he would go without any this lunch. Or if he'd brood for the rest of the period. I realized that I literally knew next to nothing about the boy, or even at all what he was like, other than stubborn.

I wondered if he'd find the ten and know it was me.

The one thing that I was absolutely positive about, though, was that it wasn’t going to be the end. We'd reach another chapter in our story.

I just wish some people would follow the script. It would be so much easier if they could.