Love Among the Coffee Beans

I’m sitting at home, petting Ginny, when I think, “Hmm. Let’s call Shayla.”

Because I’m her boyfriend and it’s what boyfriends do. They call their girlfriends.

But what shall I talk to her about?

Shall? Really Riku?

You’re cool.

I talked to Gary the doorman earlier today. He’s doing well. He’s hanging out a lot with Bethany. Which is nice. They should hang out more.

Hey, maybe me, Beth, and Shayla could hang out sometime.

I don’t know how well that would go…

Maybe not.

I’ve been thinking a lot about where I want my relationship with Shayla to go.

I’ve decided I want to spend the rest of my life with her.

It’s a big commitment at such an age, but I don’t care because I love her and surprisingly enough she loves me back.

So now, since I have enough money, I can buy her a really nice ring and we can move into a pretty apartment and go furniture shopping.

And I just used the word ‘pretty’.

Nice, Riku.

Real nice.

Don’t you sound straight.

Anyways.

So I think I’ll invite Shayla over.

And I’ll take her to… somewhere.

A cool restaurant that costs a lot of money for a salad and she and I will eat and talk and have fun and then I’ll ask her to move in with me.

Oh dear lord.

That’s gonna be some scary stuff.

Or maybe I won’t do it at a nice restaurant.

We can go to the pool!

Ah, the pool.

That was a good day.

Night.

Day-night.

Evening.

No, it was definitely night.

But, regardless, it was good.

Because that was where I told her I loved her for the first time. And she lost her bathing suit top and she wore a pair of my boxers.

So I dig through my pocket and pull out my crappy cell phone.

I could really use a new cell phone.

Like… a Crackberry.

I think I’ll get a Crackberry.

That’s what people call a Blackberry, by the way.

Anyways.

So I dial Shay’s number and hold the phone up to my ear.

While it’s ringing, I think of something clever to say to her.

“Hi, you’ve reached Shayla. Leave a message at the beep… Beeeeep.”

“Uh…”

Uh…

I clear my throat.

“Hiya, Shay bear. I was just wondering if, ah, you wanted to come over sometime soon… Like, today… Um… I suck at leaving messages.”

“Beeeeep.”

“Wait, what - ? Beep? What do you mean, ‘beep’? You can’t just beep on me, I was leaving her a message, you stupid phone! C’mon, that’s just not fair! I’m trying to set something important up. I guess this is the universe’s way of telling me it’s not gonna happen.”

And now I’m sad.

Ginny crawls up my chest and licks my face in a comforting gesture.

That can’t be right.

The phone doesn’t just beep at you in the middle of a message.

“What’s not gonna happen?” the phone asks.

“Well you see, phone I – “ I stop short. “Wait. Phones don’t talk back… Shay-la…” I groan, embarrassed.

“You’re so cute,” she says, laughing.

“Oh, shut up,” I say, laughing back. “Do you wanna come over today?”

Please say ‘yes’…

I pretend I have mind powers and I channel them through the phone.

What?

“I would love to—I mean, let me check my schedule.”

I laugh. Again.

Laugh, laugh, laugh.

Laughing is good for the soul.

“Good. Oh – and bring a bathing suit. Hopefully this one won’t fall off again…”

Gary’s secretly wishing it would fall off again.

“Hm… might have to buy a grandma swimsuit. I swear, the pool is cursed…”

No! No grandma swimsuit!

Gary would be sad.

I kinda would be too.

Don’t be a jerk, Riku.

She’d be sexy in anything.

Ahem.

Anyways.

“We can go to a different pool, if you’d like…”

“Whatever you want, dearest.” She laughs. “And I was kidding about the swimsuit.”

Good!

What?

Shut up, Gary.

“Noooo…. Whatever you want, dearest,” I say back, smiling even though she can’t see it.

She sighs. “Have I told you lately that I love you?”

She doesn’t sing it though.

“Have I told you lately that... I love you too?”

God, you’re cheesy Riku.

Aw, I think it’s sweet –

Who asked you, Constance?

Shut up, Gary.

“Now, where do you wish to go? That’s pool-related, of course.”

I’m really hoping she says my pool.

Because it would be sweet that way.

And I’m a sweet guy.

…

Yeah.

“Well, for tradition’s sake, it better be your pool,” she says.

Yay! Cries Constance.

“Alright, sounds good. When can I expect you?”

“Hm… Well, what time works for you? I don’t have anything going on today… So. Whatever works.”

“How’s about noon then?”

That gives me enough time to shower and stuff like that.

Because I just woke up.

I look at the clock.

Ten thirty.

“Yeah. Noon.” I nod, a self-affirmation.

“Sounds awesome. See you then, Pizza Hut.”

I inwardly groan.

But I laugh on the outside because at the same time, it’s really cute.

“See you then.”

But I don’t hang up.

I never hang up.

“…Hello?”

“…We should hang up now…”

And by ‘we’, I mean you.

“You mean I should hang up.”

I give a nervous laugh. “Eh. Yeah. I love you?”

“Yeah, yeah. Love you too, goof ball.”

Another nervous chuckle. “Now, go get ready. I’ll see you in an hour or so.”

“Alright. Bye, bye.”

And then she hangs up.

Alright, Pizza Hut, time to get ready.

So I practically throw my clothes off on the bathroom floor and jump in the shower. And it started off real fast but I ended up spending twenty minutes in there.

When I got out, it was freezing, which was unusual. But I realized it was because the window was open.

I’m standing naked with the window open.

Well that’s just lovely.

There’s a man outside. He’s throwing his trash away.

I think he’s the same man from a few weeks ago.

The one who thought I was sexy and was going to let me bring my Chihuahua.

So I close the window and close the blinds and put some clothes on real fast. Nothing special. Just my sexy fake Hawaiian swim trunks and a shirt.

Then I sit.

And then I think – “Hey, why not make some food?”

I mean, we’ll be at a pool around lunch time.

So I go into my cupboards.

I find Rice Krispies, Cocoa Pebbles, and bread.

I also find frosting.

So I make us some frosting and Cocoa Pebble sandwiches.

I make three, and eat one while I wait for Shayla.

Hey – not bad.

Not bad at all.

So I take Ginny outside to do her duty (hehe, duty…) and as I come back inside, I see Gary the doorman.

I walk over to him, Virginity in hand.

“Hey, man, what’s up?” I ask, setting Ginny on the counter for her to see him.

Gary the doorman smiles over his Jane Austen book and reaches up to pet her. “Not much man, what about yourself?”

“Oh, you know, just kinda hanging. I’m thinking about asking Shayla to move in with me.”

What?

Yup.

“Wow, really? There’s a big commitment if I ever saw one.” Gary the doorman holds a fist out.

I pound it and laugh.

I remember when I first meet Shayla.

We said good bye with one of those.

“Yeah, well. Hopefully she’ll say yes and we can go house hunting soon.”

Geez, Riku.

You move fast.

Anyways.

“Well good luck, Riku,” Gary the doorman wishes as I take Ginny in the crook of my elbow and go back upstairs.

And then I sit on my couch and watch out the window as the clouds go by.