Status: Active
Jealous Hearts Will Leave Us All In Ruins
You, my dear, have been discovered a liar.
I'm Jack Bassam Barakat.
I'm 23 years old.
I'm not a cheater, yet I'm cheating on the girl I've been with for a year.
I'm not a liar, but I'm lying to myself. Every fucking day.
The truth? I miss being with Alex, the way we used to be. I miss hanging out, being stupid, just being best friends. Now it's like he can't even look at me. I love him, of course I do. I've always loved him. It's just that admitting that makes everything so... So real, so scary. So complicated.
Being with Ava is easy. It's what everyone expects, it's what I'm supposed to do. Or at least it was. Ever since she got here, everything has changed.
Whenever we're watching a movie now, cuddled up in the back lounge, it's all wrong.
She doesn't smell like Alex.
She doesn't laugh like Alex.
She doesn't feel like Alex.
She isn't Alex
Lay here in his bunk with Alex curled up to my chest; it feels right. I feel... content.
I feel like I'm home.
Y'know what? I changed my mind.
This is what I want. All of this. All the time.
It's time to man the fuck up, Jack Barakat. Make a decision. Make it right.
I'm 23 years old.
I'm not a cheater, yet I'm cheating on the girl I've been with for a year.
I'm not a liar, but I'm lying to myself. Every fucking day.
The truth? I miss being with Alex, the way we used to be. I miss hanging out, being stupid, just being best friends. Now it's like he can't even look at me. I love him, of course I do. I've always loved him. It's just that admitting that makes everything so... So real, so scary. So complicated.
Being with Ava is easy. It's what everyone expects, it's what I'm supposed to do. Or at least it was. Ever since she got here, everything has changed.
Whenever we're watching a movie now, cuddled up in the back lounge, it's all wrong.
She doesn't smell like Alex.
She doesn't laugh like Alex.
She doesn't feel like Alex.
She isn't Alex
Lay here in his bunk with Alex curled up to my chest; it feels right. I feel... content.
I feel like I'm home.
Y'know what? I changed my mind.
This is what I want. All of this. All the time.
It's time to man the fuck up, Jack Barakat. Make a decision. Make it right.
♠ ♠ ♠
Hi. It's been way too fucking long. I'm so sorry.I've been having trouble in my personal life and I quit college for the second time so I'm kind of in a rut with my life.
So yeah, this is short, and probably really shitty but hey, it's an update finally? If any of you even remember this that is.
P.S- Is this getting really repetitive? I have zero motivation but I felt like I needed to explain myself, and to do that I had to update. Please, criticise the fuck out of this. I need it. At least comment. Just, something.
Title credit: 155 - +44.