Jealous Hearts Will Leave Us All In Ruins

It's around two hours later when Jack and I are back on the bus, spooning in my bunk once again; Jack's chest pressed tight against my back as he presses soft kisses to my neck and lazily traces patterns onto my stomach.

"Hey 'lex?" he mutters against my skin.

"Yeah Jacky?" I whisper back, right at that point between sleep and consciousness.

"So um. I guess we should probably talk about what just happened back at the club right?" Jack asks, squeezing me impossibly closer into his chest.

Okay, now I'm wide awake.

Fuck. Fuckfuckfuckfuck. What have I done? How could I be so stupid!? He doesn't want me. He never did. He was wasted and I was just another casual fuck to him. And what about the band? Holy fuck, I've ruined everything. I can feel the tears start to well up already as my heart breaks that little bit more with every passing second.

My breaths start coming faster and faster, tears threatening to escape from their watery prison behind my eyes.

"O-okay Jack," I breathe, not trusting my voice not to crack and give me away.

"Lexy? Are you-" Jack cuts himself off, shifting me in his arms so I'm facing him, his hands pressed to the small of my back. He cups my cheek, his thumb stroking the skin there, slowly and tenderly. I close my eyes, unwillingly allowing the first tears to begin their descent.

"Alexander, look at me." he demands.

I'm thrown off by the use of my full name and my eyes slowly open, revealing Jack's face looming over mine. I'm instantly captivated by the intensity in his gaze, his deep chestnut eyes boring into mine and locking me there.

"Will you just listen to me 'lex, before you start over thinking everything?" Jack pleads, moving his hands down to slowly stroke my sides in an attempt to calm me down.

I nod reluctantly, my eyes still locked with his.

"I know that you're thinking I regret everything that we did, and that I only had sex with you because you were there. I thought you would know me better than that by now Lexy. That's not me, okay? It never has been, and it never will be. I would never, I could never do that to anyone, especially not you 'lex. You're my best friend. We've been through everything together and I would never hurt you like that."

Jack's words are spoken softly, with a firm edge to them. The tears I've been trying to hold back are flowing freely down my face as he tries to wipe them away with his thumbs.

"I do love you 'lex, I really do. I guess I've never really thought about us as more than just best friends. Friends with benefits at the most. But tonight was just... I can't even explain. It was more than anything I've ever felt before. Not just the sex, we had a connection and I don't want to throw all that away because we were both drunk, y'know?"

"So, wh-what are you saying Jack?" I manage to get out, my voice wrecked from our earlier escapades and the recent crying.

"I... I'm not really sure right now Alex. I guess. Just wait and see what happens. I don't wanna push this, I just-"

I cut him off with my lips, pressing a soft, innocent kiss to his. I pull away and rest my forehead against his.

"I love you, Jack. I've loved you for years. I think I can wait a little longer for you to figure this out, whichever route you decide to take. You're everything to me..."

I speak before my mind can really catch up with what I'm saying, and a deep blush covers my cheeks at this confession.

Jack smiles softly at this and presses his lips to mine, kissing me more passionately than before.

"I'll always love you Alex." he mutters, still pressing soft kisses to my lips between his words.

I yawn quietly and he chuckles, cuddling me closer and squeezing me tight.

"I guess I wore you out earlier huh?" Jack raises an eyebrow cockily and I hit his chest lightly.

"Goodnight Lexy," he murmurs into my hair as I snuggle into him, face pressed to his bare chest and I drift off to sleep to the soothing beat of his heart.