Believing You and Me

After yesterday’s mess with both John and Jack, Acey felt drained and angry and overall hormonal. The night before she spent most of the night at Roxie’s house studying for a Biology test and working on a song she wanted to sing in Music Club. She wanted to let some of the anger and everything she felt out in a song. She figured out the perfect song and Roxie was all for it. Roxie knew how the other girl felt, not from experience, but she was able to sympathize. Acey had made a mistake and now she’s stuck with a consequence. Roxie wanted to hit John for being an ass, she wanted to hit Jack for being dumb but she knew it wouldn’t be useful for her best friend. So she helped with the song.

The Tuesday morning, Acey got up earlier than usual and her stomach fluttered with morning sickness and nerves. She dressed in her uniform and made sure her ponytail was tight. She drove herself to school fine and met with Jack in the student parking lot. The day was warmer than yesterday, the rain had stopped and the Arizona sun had come back like it was never gone. She smiled bright as Jack Hansen actually noticed her first, kissed her softly before putting an arm around her. “I’ll see you later guys.” He called to his football team mates and walked into the high school with his girlfriend.

“So I called your house last night, your mom told me you were at Roxie’s.” There was apparent disgust behind the taller boy’s voice but Acey dismissed it. Roxie and Jack don’t get along, that’s all. Acey just nodded giving her boyfriend a smile.

“Yes, she was helping me with Bio and a Music Club assignment.” Jack stopped at his locker but before opening the metal door or even unlocking the lock he stared at his girlfriend.

“What the fuck is Music Club?” He didn’t beat around the bush about it. He wanted to know what is Music Club and if she’s ruining everything by being in that stupid club.

“Uh, a music club?” She stared at her boyfriend really questioning his intelligence. “Roxie wanted me to join because Garrett’s in it, so is John, oh and a bunch of their friends. It’s really cool though.” Jack nodded, grabbing his things for English and slamming his locker shut.

“I want to go with you today. Where is it?” Acey felt taken back by Jack’s sudden want to do something club-wise and with her. She told him where the club met, when it met and that she’ll meet him outside of her Art class that was near his Spanish class. Jack walked Acey to her locker and then to her Math class. They kissed each other goodbye and she walked into the room, sat in her usual spot and opened her notebook. Instantly Acey began to doodle about random things and write her name over and over in the margins. She heard whispers from behind her, her name and Jack’s leaving girl’s mouths and she chose to ignore them. It never mattered, the rumors kids spilled, she was happy.

Or so she convinced herself.

As Jack promised, he stood outside of Acey’s art class and she smiled upon seeing him. They kissed and he held her hand and took her books as they walked to their lockers. Acey got her things for her next class at her locker and Jack did the same at his. They walked together to the choir room and walked in, Acey sat next to Roxie who was talking with Garrett. She stopped talking to greet Acey and pulled a confused face when she noticed Jack sitting next to her friend. Acey just smiled and Roxie just left it alone.

From behind Acey and Jack, John stared at the couple with a composed face. He tapped Jack’s shoulder, Jack turned around and the two did their handshake. From next to John, Jared watched the interaction with a face much like Roxie’s. He didn’t understand why Jack was truly here but just guessed it was for Acey. Mr. Greene walked in, introduced himself to Jack and Jack told him he was only here for Acey. Then Acey spoke up to Mr. Greene.

“Mr. Greene, can I sing a song?”

“Certainly!” Acey smiled and her and Roxie stood up and stood in front of the rest of the club. Roxie had a guitar in her hands and she put it on, making sure the strap fit alright and began playing. Acey tapped along and when it was her time she began to sing.

“I'm lost at sea, the radio is jamming but they won’t find me, I swear it’s for the best. And then your frequency is pulling me in closer ‘til I'm home. And I've been up for days. I finally lost my mind and then I lost my way. I'm blistered but I'm better and I'm home.” Then at the chorus she belted every emotion out of her. “And I will crawl, there’s things that aren't worth giving up I know. But I won't let this get me I will fight. You live the life you're given with the storms outside some days all I do is watch the sky.” She waited for Roxie to play and for her turn for the next verse. “This room's too small, it's only getting smaller. I'm against the wall; I'm slowly getting taller here in Wonderland. This guilt feels so familiar and I'm home.” She repeated the chorus and everyone in the room could feel her emotion. She sang and sang all the guilt and frustration out of her. It was like Acey Walker was singing her pregnancy out of her. She gave John a look through the song and he watched her with a locked jaw. “I think I, I could use a little break, today was a good day. I think I, I could use a little break, today was a good day. It's a deep sea on which I'm floating. Still I sink to think that i must... Crawl, there’s things that aren't worth giving up I know. When you can't bear to carry me I'll fight. You live the life you're given with the storms outside some days all I do is watch the sky. Today was a good day, today was a good day.”

Once she and Roxie finished the room clapped and cheered, feeling better after she sang it just like she felt better. She felt like a world was lifted off of her just for the moment. Mr. Greene was blown away. “Wow, Acey, that…that was amazing! That’s it guys! Your week’s assignment is to sing a song with so much passion like Acey just demonstrated.” And he let the class to work on their assignment either in groups or alone but they just talked. John thought about Acey’s performance and he knew it was about him. It had to be. She got her pregnant. A mistake he could take back. A mistake that makes his stomach burn and heart ache. Acey wanted nothing to do with him. His heart ached more as he watched the couple in front of him kiss. He wished he was the one kissing Acey’s lips. He wishes he could be the one she shares the baby with mentally, not just physically. But John is just the king of wishful thinking.