You Lost Me, You Left Me

It rained the day of the funeral. As if my grandmother’s funeral wasn’t bad enough, it kept bringing back memories of my mother’s funeral. Thankfully John was there for me. I still hadn’t forgiven him but I needed someone there for me and he was the only one who understood how close I was to my grandma.

“Do you need anything to eat or drink?” John whispered to me. It was after the funeral and everyone that had attended was at my grandmother’s house to pay their respects.

“No. I don’t want you to leave me.” I said as I grabbed John’s hand and held on for dear life.

“I’ll stay by your side all day if you want me to. You really need to eat something though. You haven’t had anything all day.”

“The thought of food makes me want to throw up.” I whispered and then turned to Katy and Russell who had just walked up to us.

“Hey pretty lady. I’m so sorry about your grandma.” Katy said as she pulled me into a hug.

“I’m sorry too, Parker-Blaine. She must have been a wonderful lady because it seems as if the whole town is here.” Russell said as he gave me a hug after Katy let me go.

“Yes, she was. Thanks guys.”

The rest of the day progressed the same. People would come up to me and tell me how sorry they were while giving me a hug. Along with Katy and Russell, the rest of the guys from The Maine, A Rocket to the Moon boys, and Megan all came. The entire O’Callaghan family came also. I was grateful for their support but most grateful for John’s.

I got many odd looks from the guys and Megan when they saw John and me holding hands but I just ignored them. I couldn’t explain what was going on even if I had wanted to.

John was currently the only thing keeping my head above water. I would have drowned without him but I knew that I would probably go back to hating him once this was all over. Just because he was here for me at this moment didn’t mean that I was going to automatically forget the past.
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“Well here you are PB.” John said as he pulled up in front of my house. We had just flown back from Alabama.

“Thanks John, and thanks for coming to my rescue this past few days.” I said as I opened the car door.

“Hey PB, what are we now? I mean have you forgiven me? Are we at least friends again?” John asked.

I sighed and said, “I don’t know J. I don’t think so. My grandmother requested that I forgive you but every time I try I get a flashback of what happened at Warped. I’m also kind of in a bad emotional state right now.”

“Ok.” John said with a frown on his face but thankfully didn’t argue.

“Thanks again, J.” I said as I got out of the car and walked towards my door.

I opened the door and walked into an empty apartment. Megan had left for her month long Miss Arizona trip right after the funeral. The guys were also going to California for a week so I was in Tempe by myself for the next few days. I walked straight to my bed and crawled under the covers. Sleeping was all I felt like doing anymore.
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“Where are we going?” Kennedy asked as I turned down a road that didn’t lead to our apartment.

“I’m going to go check on Parks.” I answered. The boys and I were back from talking to the record label in California and I wanted to make sure PB was ok.

“Have either of you heard from her at all this week?” Kennedy asked.

“No, we haven’t. I tried calling her a couple times but she never answered.” Jared said.

We had just pulled up to her house and I got out as I said, “I’ll be right back.”

I opened her door and called out, “PB?”

There was no answer and I began getting worried. “Parker-Blaine this isn’t funny! Where are you?!”

I searched through every room and finally found her lying on the bathroom floor.

“Shit! PB why are you sleeping in here?”

She looked up at me with confusion and said, “I was throwing up earlier and I must have fallen asleep.”

“Well you need to get up.” I said as I tried to help her stand up. She was too weak to do that though and immediately collapsed back on the floor. I decided to pick her up instead and was horrified when I felt how light she was.

“Parker-Blaine! Have you been eating?”

“Every time I eat I just throw it back up. I’m so tired and cold, J.” She whimpered.

“It’ll be ok Parks. I’m here.” I said as I took her out to my car.

“What’s wrong with Parks?” Jared and Kennedy both asked worriedly when they saw me carrying her towards the car.

“I don’t know but we need to get her to the hospital.” I answered.

Jared moved to the driver’s seat and sped off towards the hospital with a grim look on his face as I sat in the back holding PB.