You Lost Me, You Left Me

“I need a ticket for the next plane heading to Alabama.” I said a little breathlessly because I had been running through the entire fucking airport.

The lady working behind the counter started typing on her computer as she said, “A plane headed for Montgomery, Alabama is leaving in two hours. Would you like a ticket for that, sir?”

“Yes, please.”

“Ok that will be $275.” She said and I grimaced at the ticket price but knew that this was what I needed to do.

The lady at the counter was printing out my ticket and I thought about the circumstances that were bringing me to Alabama. I had been at my apartment when Jared came bursting in and told me the news. Parker-Blaine’s grandmother had just had a stroke and her condition was looking grim. The doctors were predicting that her grandmother wouldn’t last more than a couple more days. I knew how close PB was to her grandma and figured that she was a mess at the moment. I didn’t even care that she hated me; I just knew that I had to be there for her.

“Here’s your ticket, sir. Your plane will depart from gate E4.”

“Thank you.” I said as I grabbed the ticket and walked towards the gate.
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I closed my eyes and tried pretending I was somewhere else but it wasn’t working. No matter how hard I tried I could still smell the sick scent that is always present in hospitals and could hear the beeping from the monitors that were currently hooked up to my grandma.

“Parker-Blaine, is that you dear?” I heard a weak voice say and I turned to see that my grandmother had woken up from her nap.

“Yes, it’s me, grandma. Dad and Aunt Sarah went to go get lunch.” I said to the woman that was in the hospital bed and in no way resembled my grandmother. My grandma was always so strong. She had kept her house running plus gotten a job at the bank after my grandpa died so she could support herself. The woman in the bed was pale and weak. She could barely stay awake for more than fifteen minutes without becoming worn out.

“Why are you so sad dear?” My grandmother asked.

“Grandma you just had a stroke and now are in the hospital. That’s why I’m sad.” I answered.

“Parker-Blaine I have lived a good, long life so don’t feel sad about that. You’re sad about something else though. I can see it in your eyes. It looks as if you’ve been hurting for a while. Are things still bad with John?”

I considered lying but knew my grandma would see right through me. “Yes. Actually, we aren’t even speaking… and haven’t been for a year and a half.”

“Parker-Blaine you need to fix things with that poor boy. When I saw him at the Miss America Pageant he told me what he had done to you. It was awful, but sweetie we all make mistakes and he’s trying to fix it. At least he was trying to fix things by being at the pageant and asking me to give that letter and cd to you. You’re obviously unhappy with him not in your life and I’m guessing he’s just as unhappy as you are.” My grandma said with labored breathing. I could tell she was becoming tired from all this talking.

“I don’t know if I want to forgive him, grandma.”

“You need to forgive him, dear. You don’t want to have any regrets when you get to where I am because then it’s too late to fix them.

At these words I began bawling. “Please don’t talk like that grandma. You’ll make it through this and be out of the hospital within a week.” Both of us knew this was a lie. I just didn’t want to admit the evident truth.

“I love you Parker-Blaine. Please make peace with John for me.”

“I love you too grandma.” I said through my tears as my father walked into the room.

“Sweetie, let’s let your grandmother rest a little bit. You need to get out of here anyway. You haven’t left this hospital room in nearly two days.”
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After the plane ride and then an hour taxi drive, I was finally at the hospital where PB’s grandma was.

“Hi, I’m looking for Shirley Lawson’s room.” I said to the girl working at the receptionist’s desk. She looked close to my age so I figured she was an intern of some sort.

“I’m sorry but only family members are allowed back there.” She replied back to me.

“I’m her grandson, John Lawson.”

The girl looked at me for a couple seconds and then said, “No you’re not. You’re John O’Callaghan, lead singer of The Maine. Now if you give me an autograph and let me take a picture with you I could say that I thought you were a family member and let you back there.”

I quickly agreed and took a picture with the girl then signed a piece of paper that she gave me. I then ran towards the elevator to get to the floor where PB’s grandma was. As soon as the elevator doors opened on the correct floor I saw PB sitting in the hall. She looked as if she hadn’t slept or showered in a couple days and was bawling.

I ran over to where she was and wrapped my arms around her.

“I’m here PB. I’m here for you.” I whispered to her.

“John… she’s g-g-gone.” she choked out.

My heart sunk at those words but I knew I needed to stay strong for Parker-Blaine. “Let’s get you out of here PB. Where is your dad?”

“Talking to the f-f-f-funeral director or something.”

“Ok, I’ll find him and tell him that we’re leaving. Stay here. I’ll be right back.”

PB just simply nodded at me, as if words were too much for her at the moment. I had no clue what to do for my ex-best friend PB. I just knew that she needed me more than ever, even if she still did hate me.