Before I Leave

After leading me back to the party, Corey stayed with me. We danced. And not just the kind of dancing you do just to dance, but where you are close, like you almost one person, and there isnt even words to descripe how it felt. We wouldnt even say anything, just being close to each other was enough. I closed my eyes, hearing the music, feeling him close to me, soaking up every bit of tonight I could, because I knew just as well as he did that it wouldnt last.
"I love you." He whispered into my ear. I opened my eyes.
"No you dont." I said back. His arms wrapped tighter around me.
"Yes, I do. Your the only person who has never hurt me." He said his voice completely serious. He leaned back to look me in the eyes. I searched his eyes for any hint of what he really meant.
"If that was true, you would be with me." I said back and watched for that little flicker of guilt, but there was nothing. Then he leaned in and kissed me. I pulled away and leaned into him so my mouth was by his ear.
"I love you too." I said, holding on to this moment. Life only gives you so many opportunites to make something happen. This was my chance. Now that he knew how I felt, it was all on him. If he walked away this time, I wouldnt have to think about what would of happened if I had told him.
"I miss you so much. Even when im with her." He said to me.
"Then be with me." I said, watching his face. Trying to see how much his words would hurt later. And then it happened. That little glance sideways. What he always does when he is lying, or knows he is doing something wrong. I pulled away from him and his eyes filled with guilt. He knew I had seen it.
"Why do you have to do this!" I yelled.
"Do what?" He asked trying to pull me back.
"Why do you have to make me believe you when none of it is even true, Corey?" My voice was getting softer, I could feel the tears coming.
"I meant it." He said simply thinking those words would fix it all.
"No you didnt. If you did you would stay. Here with me, and leave her." I said trying to make eye contact but he only looked around as if the trees were the most interesting thing he had ever seen.
"I gotta go." I said turning from him, but he caught my arm.
"Im sorry..." He said not knowing what else to say. I tried to yank my arm free but it was too late. The tears had spilt over. He pulled me into a hug.
"Its just hard without you." I said. I hated how weak I was being. The drinks were getting to me.
"Sorry." He said his voice filled with blankness. I pulled back and saw him looking around the party. He didnt even care. I couldnt take it anymore. How could he not care? I pushed him and he looked down at me shocked.
"I would never hurt you like this!" I yelled. People turned and looked but I didnt care. "And you dont even care!" He tried to quiet me down, why didnt he understand?
"Shh. I do care."
"No! No you dont or you wouldnt keep doing this to me!" I turned and tried to run, but my dizziness made it hard and I stumbled and fell. I felt Corey's arms trying to help me up, but I yanked them away, but he just scooped down and picked me up and walked us to his truck.
"Stop it Corey!" I said kicking and trying to get out of his grasp. But he just set me down gently in the truck and walked to the other side.
"Im not ready to leave!" I said pouting.
"Oh, I think you've had enough for tonight." He said back starting the truck. I opened my door and tried to run out but the sudden movement made me sick and I ended up throwing up in the bushes. Corey walked around and held my hair for me, and loaded me back into the truck. He walked around and got back in. I got so sleepy. I leaned over and rested my head in his lap.
"Where are we going?" I asked confused.
"To my house."