I Want to Go Outside

Clarissa’s pov
Gerard sat next to me on the private plane. His arm was around my shoulders pulling me close to him, as I slept, or actually tried to.

“Good thing we found her before Craig did.” Gerard’s voice spoke.

I had the urge to open my eyes, but refused to.

Ray answered back, “Him, Max, Bryan, or Robert.”

My mind was racing. I could remember a few stories about all four of those men. Craig Mabbitt, Max Green, Bryan Money, and Robert Ortiz. They were all from Las Vegas, I guess I had forgotten bout that. Anyways the stories were basically about how they were connected to the death of my mom somehow. I had heard Matt say something about it one time, but he was brief on description.

“There’s no telling what damage they would have done to Rissa.” Frank spoke up.

They all made some sort of grunt in agreement. A few hours later the plane landed in New Jersey. I was still pretending to be asleep when Gerard carried me bridal style out of the plane. It was a few minutes later that I felt myself being laid down in Gerard’s lap once everyone was in the car.

“Damn she can sleep for a long time.” Mikey finally spoke, making everyone laugh.

Then I realized I didn’t hear Jimmy’s voice anywhere. My eyes shot open and I quickly looked around to find him asleep in the seat across from me.

“Shhhh, he’s okay.” Gerard gently rubbed my back.

I sighed and rested against him. Gerard and I used to sit like this all of the time when he babysat me. I could remember him telling me bed time stories, and sleeping with me when I had a nightmare or watched a really scary movie. But of course my dad didn’t like the idea of Gerard getting that close to me, so he said that his services were no longer needed. I could still remember that day.

”Gerard!” my eight year old self yelled.

Gerard laughed and hugged me, “What‘s up cookie?”

I wrapped my arms around the back of his neck and leaned my head onto his chest, “Daddy said he wants to see you.”

Gerard gave me an odd look then gulped.

“Is that bad?” I asked.

He grabbed a hold of my hand, “I don‘t know.”

We walked into my dad’s office. Gerard sat down on the couch and I sat in his lap.

My dad glared at Gerard then spoke, “Gerard, your services are no longer needed.”

“What?” Sadness appeared in his eyes.

Tears sprung to my eyes as my dad spoke again, “your fired, pack your stuff and get out.”

That night Gerard packed all of his belongings, he was headed back to Jersey, back to his family and friends but he was leaving me behind.

“No! Don‘t leave!” I cried holding onto his pant leg as he walked towards the front door, his suit case next to him.

My dad watched from the stairs, arms crossed over his chest. Gerard sighed and pried me off of his leg, before bending down to my level.

“Cookie, I have to go.” Tears threatened to fall from his eyes.

“I want to go too.” I cried.

He brushed my tears away and hugged me tightly, whispering into my ear, “I‘ll come back for you one day.”

By the time I came out of my flash back I saw a large house in front of us. Gerard had me in his arms again.

“I can walk.” I noted.

He chuckled, “I know but this is much more fun.”

I smiled and rested my head on his shoulder.

“Are you tired?” He asked.

I nodded. Gerard carried me into his bed room and gently laid me down on the bed. He pulled off my shoes and tucked me in.

“Good night Gee.” I mumbled.

He smiled softly and kissed my forehead, “Goodnight cookie.”