Have No Fear

Tonight’s show went a lot better than yesterday's, it still wasn’t amazing but it wasn’t as terrible. I had still felt as if my heart was ripped out and stumped upon but tonight I had used those emotions and put them in my performance. It had resulted in a very emotional show for me, I hadn’t been jumping around as usual but every word that I had sung, had been charged with emotion.
After our set finished I went to the dressing room to get a shower and to get ready. They had organized another party for tonight and I wanted to look fabulous. Michelle had joined me in the dressing room to help me get ready but also to get ready herself. She did my hair while I put on some make up, Three Days Grace were playing in the background.
"Okay just a little hairspray in it." Michelle started to spray and the whole room filled with the toxic smell. "I think that's enough." I coughed. She put the spraying bottle down and looked at me through the mirror checking my hair and fluffing it up a little more.
"Perfect, the boys will be tripping over each other when they see you." She said with a smile. "Let's go, Avenged will be playing soon."
She turned around and walked through the door while I put the last touch on my makeup. Through the mirror I saw her walk away and I could just think that I didn't want all those boys I just wanted hers.

Avenged played another amazing show that night just as almost all the shows they had played on this tour. I was really jealous of their amazing stage performance, every time they played the fans would go wild. Nothing could change that they were amazing performers, even when they didn't feel good they would still put on an show.
They started to play trashed and scattered, one of my favorites. Even though Michelle stood next to me I couldn't help it but let my eyes wonder to Brian. He was just wearing a t shirt and jeans but he still made me weak in the knees.
He always did, but his effect on me was always worse when he was on stage. All the members of the band were amazing on the stage. But Brian was something completely else, I love to watch his hands glide down his guitar while he walked around the stage with such an confidence. Some would call it arrogance, but I just knew that my every fiber of my body just wanted to run on stage and jump him.

After the show, me and Michelle went back to the dressing room so she could finish getting ready. This time I helped her with her hair and makeup.
I liked hanging out with her, it was a change from all the male testosterone that was on the tour. With her I could have some girl time and relax.
Although I had a lot of fun hanging out with Michelle, it also made me feel guilty. Here I was acting all happy and friendly with her while I was sleeping with her husband behind her back.

I pushed those thoughts away and tried to ignore them but I was happy when we were finally finished and we could leave.

We made our way to the bar where the party was held. Just before entering the bar we checked each other over to see if everything still looked good. I must say that we both looked amazing in our new dresses that we bought this afternoon. I was wearing a little black dress with an amazing open back, while Michelle chose a short purple bubble dress in which she looked so beautiful.
When we finally got inside the bar we saw that the party was already in full swing. "Girls, you took ages." Pete said as he hugged the both of us. "But you both look amazing." We thanked him before making our way through the rest of the bar looking for familiar faces, several eyes followed us when we walked past.
Halfway through the bar we ran across Adam, we both hugged him and we stayed talking with him. Michelle and him where talking about the band’s new album while I looked around the rest of the room.
My eyes soon fell on Brian, my heart made a small tumble when I saw that he was looking at me. I gave him a small smile knowing that, that this small gesture was the closest that we had gotten all day. He returned my smile, before we both looked away hoping that no one caught our private moment.

This was the most contact we have had in the last two days. I had been too afraid that with one simple glance Michelle would found out what happened between us. I returned my focus on Michelle and Adam, they had finished their conversation and Michelle started pulling me with her. "Come on, I see Brian." I saw her eyes brighten at the mentioning of his name.
We made our way to where he stood with his band members. Michelle gave him a hug and a small kiss, I just looked away not wanting to see that but still a sharp pain shot through my chest.
Michelle laid her hand on the small of his back as Brian did the same to hers, once in a while they sended the other loving glances and it made me sick. I wanted to stand there with him, in front of everyone and it broke my heart that he was there with another woman.
Even though it hurted so much to see them I couldn't look away. Eventually I couldn’t take it any longer, I turned around and walked away not wanting to see them anymore.

I walked straight to the bar to get a drink. "Shot of vodka please." The bar tender got my shot ready as I grabbed my money. As soon as the bar keeper put the shot down I grabbed it and downed it. "Thanks, another one and a jack and coke." I downed the second shot and took large sip from my Jack and coke.

"Having a bad day?" I heard a voice beside me ask. I looked to my left, a guy I didn't recognize sat on the stool next to me drinking his whiskey. I was doubting how to answer, should I just let him know that I'm not interested, or… he was pretty cute and he could get my mind of things. "Nothing alcohol can't change." I answered him with a small smile on my face. He held his hand up. "I'm John."
"Kate." I told him, while shaking his hand. "So Kate, how did you get here." I turned around for a minute, watching Michelle and Brian looking all happy, I turned back and took another gulp of my drink "I came with some friends." He must have followed my glance. "Boy trouble huh." I wanted to cry when he said that, but I knew that wouldn’t solve anything. "Something like that." And I downed the rest of my glass. "But nothing that alcohol can't fix." I repeated, a flirty smile on my lips, hoping that he would let me forget all about my problems. "Well then let me get you another drink." "That's sounds great." I said smiling at him.

The rest of the night I talked and drank with John, we had lots of fun, and after an hour or two we were drunk as hell. I really enjoyed his company, not only was he nice looking, he was also really funny. He may not have been as amazing as Brian but a few extra shots helped me forget all about him.
Not that much later I left the bar with John trailing behind me, it may have not been my smartest decision but I didn’t care. I was drunk and this guy was the perfect way to get my mind of Brian. What I didn’t know that a pair of brown eyes followed us, a hint of jealousy hidden in them.