Walking Contradiction

I wake up groaning, my head pounding from last nights liquor and my chest is sore from all the crying. I wriggle to sit up and stop. Oh gosh, Billie Joe's spooning me. I have a shy smile to myself, stroking his arm wrapped around my waist and admiring his tattoos. Another wave of nausea comes over me and I groan, holding my head. I have to get up right now.

I slip out the bed as quietly as I can and head to the bathroom, so gotta pee! I finish up and sneak downstairs. All the lights are on telling me that the powers back and I grin heading to the coffee pot. I put a fresh one on and dig out cups for Billie and I. He stayed, he stayed with me all night. My heart swells and I sigh, smiling. But then I remember what I dreamt about and I shiver, ruining my serene moment. Billie will expect answers at some point and I just don't think that I can. How d'you tell someone that you want to stick around your deepest darkest secret? A secret that only myself and the Arizona police department know. I shiver again, goosebumps rolling over my skin.

I shake myself out of it and pour Billie and I some coffee. Milk and half a sugar for him and a black for me. I pour a little cold water into mine and creep upstairs heading into my room where he's still asleep. I kneel down and in typical Sleeping Beauty style I kiss him to see if he'll wake.
"Nnnn," He groans throatily and I pull away, smiling. His piercing green eyes open and he smiles sleepily.

"Morning,'" He says gruffly, sitting up and running a hand through his gorgeous hair. I scoot him over and sit down, pulling the duvet over my legs. I pass him his coffee, he yawns loudly and takes a big gulp, a satisfied sigh falling from his lips.

"Well good mornin to you too," He says smiling crookedly, his eyes struggling to open and I smile.

"Its probably more like good afternoon but I get the sentiment," I say and sip my coffee, getting comfy against the headboard. He looks at me sideways, grinning like an idiot and I raise an eyebrow.

"What?" I finally ask and he shakes his head.

"Nothing," he says and throws his arm round me, sitting back. I smile, revelling in this wonderful way to wake up.

"How did you sleep?" I ask and he smiles to himself, looking up at the ceiling.

"I slept like the dead, I didn't even dream and it was awesome. Best nights sleep I've had in years," He sighs and takes another sip of coffee. I can't help but agree. I didn't dream either last night and thats a first. I always dream and generally they're either totally horrific or a total mindfuck. It was nice to get total uninterrupted, unworrisome sleep.

"What about you?" He asks looking down at me,

"Yeah me too, most normal sleep I've ever had," I say and he grins kissing my forehead. I blush slightly and turn my head, kissing his wrist.

"Aaaaoooaaaaaham," He yawns loudly again, downing the rest of his coffee and putting the cup on the dresser. He stretches and gets out and my eyes widen. Billie Joe Armstrongs body in just shorts is something to behold first thing!

"Nature calls," He says and exits.

"Really needed to know that!" I call and shake my head sipping my coffee as I giggle, he's peeing with the door open too!

"You are so gross sometimes," I glare at him and he just laughs, throwing himself down on the bed. He's lying straight across with his legs off the end of the bed and I bite my lip, his tattooed body set before me like a feast. I put my coffee up and crawl over to him, leaning over his face on my hands and knees. He opens his eyes and smiles at me, like really smiles. Like I'm the most wonderful thing hes ever seen. I press my mouth on his and it takes him by surprise, I can feel it in his body language. He returns my love none the less and runs his fingers through my hair. I move my mouth down and kiss his along his jaw, his stubble rough against the softness of my lips. He smiles, letting a happy sigh slip out. I kiss further down his neck, across his collarbone and he has a small shiver, running his hands over my back and down my arms. I run my fingertips over his smooth chest, finding his snail trail and caressing it slowly, feeling the soft hair between my fingers.

"Mmm Rosie, ya gotta stop that," He murmurs his hands resting on my waist. I kiss down his chest, soft barely touching kisses, brushing my lips across his skin the further I go down. I enjoy feeling him squirm beneath me, knowing that it is my touch and my mouth making his breath catch in his throat. I reach the waistband of his boxers and I kiss lightly along it before brushing my lips up his chest again, reaching his neck and kissing back over to his mouth. He kisses me eagerly, his hand cupping my cheek. I pull away for some air and his eyes, oh god. Emerald fire, they're dark and smouldering, blinking up at me through long lashes. I bite my lip and give him a little wink which makes him laugh darkly.

"Oh my Rosie, you are trouble," He sighs and I grin, throwing my leg over and straddling his chest. His reaction is priceless. His eyes are wide and his hands are trembling on my waist.
"Rosie?" He squeaks and I laugh, bending down and kissing him gently. I pull away slightly, our noses almost touching and quickly stick my finger tips under his arms, tickling him. He starts laughing hysterically and bucking beneath me, trying to push me off.

"Rosie! Rosie not cool!" He laughs and he manages to push me off, me landing with a bounce next to him. Before I can do anything hes on top of me, his waist between my legs, grinning down at me. He grabs my wrists and pins them above my head, one hand holding them there.

"Don't you dare," I growl, smiling still

"Don't do what?" He asks innocently and I glare at him.

"You totally know what," I manage to whisper as his mouth finds my neck, kissing it softly, brushing his bottom lip across my collarbone and the tip of his tongue makes a trail from the corner of my jaw down to my shoulder. I can't help but shiver in pleasure as his hand snakes up my teeshirt, the tips of his fingers caressing my skin, sliding down my stomach, across my hipbone and down into my inner thigh. I'm almost panting it feels so good. I moan as his finger find my panties and he lifts the edge of them, causing me to gasp. He brings his hand back up my tee and he slides it round my back (which I arch for him), finally kissing me. I know he can feel the hunger for more in my kiss and I can feel him getting hard against my hip. Again he's the one that pulls away and we're breathing heavily, staring eachother down. He breaks into a smile and shaking my head, I smile too. He releases my wrists and I run a hand through my hair, sighing heavily. A wave of pleasure goes through my body as he just brushes against me. He sees the blush in my cheeks and he grins, kissing me again.

"Can you not wait? Like at least 5th date or something," I grimace as I pull away and he smirks down at me.

"Hardly fair you teased first,"

"Yeah but when I do it it's cute," We grin at eachother and I sit up on my elbows, stifling a yawn.

"Billie! Rosie! We're home!"

"YEAH WE BROUGHT BREAKFAST BITCHES!" Mike and Tre are home! THEY HAVE FOOD. I'm gone, straight out from under Billie Joe and right into the kitchen, pulling a seat out at the table, sitting down and smiling sweetly in hope of breakfast. Mike has the coffee on and jumps as he turns around spotting me in the chair and he puts a hand to his chest.

"Shit, you scared the shit outta me!" He breathes and I smile at him. Give me my breakfast you dork.

"Hey Mike," Billie says casually, swiping a seat next to me and Mike salutes, getting 4 mugs from the cupboard. He's put clothes on now, a white Misfits tee and a pair of grey baggy joggers. Billie places a sly hand high on my thigh and I jump slightly, a blush rushing its way to my cheeks. I nip the back of his hand hard and he yelps, putting his hand to his face and sucking on it, giving me a playful glare. I rather maturely I think, stick my tongue out at him. Frickin perv. I should totally feel self conscious in my Green Day nighty and panties but I strangely don't. Well I suppose I did practically bare all at the pool yesterday.

"So this breakfast?" I ask impatient, moving up and Mike sniggers, Billie smirking at me.

"What did you do last night thats made you so hungry?" Mike asks wiggling his eyebrows and I roll my eyes.

"I drank copious amounts of liquor with the master thief here," I jerk a thumb at Billie, "Now this food?" Mike laughs at me and I huff blowing my fringe out my face. He smiles at me though and puts a pizza box on the table. I raise an eyebrow and poke the edge of the box.

"Whats the matter? Never had leftover pizza for breakfast?" Billie asks smugly and I narrow my eyes at him.

"Never without the offer of coffee or beer to go with it,"

"Oh Mike should be right on that," Billie says and Mike places a coffee in front of me winking. I roll my eyes and open the box taking a slice of chicken and pepperoni pizza and munching it down. I nudge Billie sharply with my elbow.

"Ow! Jeez woman I'm gonna have to report you for domestic abuse if you keep this up," he says rubbing his ribs,

"Shuttup you big girls blouse, eat some breakfast I don't care what it is as long as its food," I sternly say glaring at him and he rolls his eyes.

"Fine," he huffs and takes a slice of pizza, biting it angrily which puts Mike and I into peals of laughter. I kiss Billie's cheek and he smiles at me, coming out of his huff.

"My little drama queen," I say and he nudges my ribs gently.

"GUYS! I brought more breakfast!" Tre comes dancing through, pirroetting rather beautifully actually. He's got a joint in his hand and with my mouthful of pizza, I grin and clap my hands to which they laugh.

"So she's cool right Bill?" Mike asks and Billie grins nodding.

"Oh she's a regular little toker aren't you sweetums?"

"I will kill you," They laugh as Billie noogies me and I punch his ribs a few times, not hard though just playing. We break apart and I give him a glare which he returns, failing to stop the smile on his face which I end up melting to, his face is adorable.

"I'm bored!" Tre cries, collapsing across the table. Billie and Mike roll their eyes as I collapse across Tre, crying that I too am bored.

"I thought we were having band practise?" Mike asks and Tre springs up, bouncing up and down on the spot.

"Oh can we, can we, can we? Please!" Tre begs and I giggle at how childish he is. Billie puts a hand on my knee and I sit up, looking at him.

"D'you mind?" He asks and I smile at his cute little face, his lip jutting slightly.

"Course not, I can amuse myself," I say and poke his nose, scrunching my nose up in a smile. He smiles and swoops in, kissing me gently.

"You guys are gross," Tre whines and I give him the finger, grabbing the back of Billie Joe's head and kissing him with all I've got. He want to see gross, I'll give him gross! I open my mouth and entwine my tongue with his, his hands in my hair, tugging gently and I've got a firm hold of the neck of his tee, still giving Tre the birdy. I pull away and grin at him, giving him a wink and he breathes out hard, laughing nervously.

"Wow," He breathes and I smile smugly at him, getting up and stretching.

"You're gross Rosie!" Tre cries and I treat him to my sexiest wink

"Jealous cause you want some of this," I sing as I walk by and he smacks my ass hard as I go by.

"You so didn't do that!" Billie shouts and Tre shoves passed me, disappearing into the basement with Billie chasing him. Mike stands next to me in the doorway as we both raise an eyebrow to the screaming and crashing coming from the basement.

"Is this seriously normal?" I ask and Mike shakes his head with the same surprised look on his face as me.

"Sometimes I wonder," He says and I smile, leaning into him. He smiles down at me and ruffles my hair, I squeeze an eye closed and pull a face which makes him laugh.

"You're seriously cute Rosie," He grins and I blush slightly, punching his shoulder lightly.

"Shurrup, so you better go break up the -" I stop as Tre comes flying out the basement with half a wet shirt on, torn badly at the collar and Billie right behind him with a super soaker, laughing maniacally. I raise an eyebrow and look back into the kitchen.

"Y'know what? They totally forgot about that joint and theres still some coffee in the pot, wanna do that til they're done?" I ask and Mike nods with a sigh of relief.

"Love to," He says and puts an arm around my shoulders, steering me to the table and sitting me down, getting us some more coffee. I spark up the joint and take a few puffs passing it to him once he's sat down and he hands me coffee in exchange.

"So a Green Day band practise huh? What d'you guys do? I mean do you play your own songs all the time?" I ask and he smiles, shaking his head.

"God no, if we played our own songs all the time I think we'd go mad. Nah we go down to have a jam, play some of our shit, do some covers, write, y'know whatever we're in the mood for," He shrugs and I smile, blowing on my coffee. We've learned to tune out the shouts and screaming from the guys running round the house.

"So what are you gonna do while we jam?" He asks and I shrug.

"I'm not sure, I mean I have a lot of hobbies really so I'm sure I'll find something to do, if you can keep a secret I've been eyeing up the grand piano in the dining room," I say and he smiles.

"You play?"

"Not very well at all. I don't know notes or anything like that, I just mess around y'know. Like I keep messing around til I find something I like or I listen to a song and try to learn to play it by ear,"

"Thats how we all started Rosie," He says smiling at me and I tilt my head, frowning slightly.

"Like I say its a hobby. Although if I knew if Billie Joe had a stereo I'd totally be doing something else,"

"Whats that? Oh his stereo is in the living room, its got an iPod dock and stuff," Mike says and I grin, taking the joint he's offering me.

"Great! Well can you do me a favour?"

"Whats that?"

"Keep them out the living room for a couple hours?" I ask and he smiles.

"No problem," He says softly and I clap my hands, coming round and hugging him. He laughs lightly and squishes his cheek into mine. He moves his head slightly and oh god he smells so good.

"Dude, seriously you smell amazing,"

"Well thank you Rosie, so do you," I laugh at this, no way do I smell good, I was drinking and smoking last night so no, I probably smell like a biker bar and I tell him this. He starts laughing and its then we notice how quiet it is.

"Oh god hes killed him hasn't he?" I ask worried and Mike laughs telling me to 'Shh' and 'Listen' through sign language. I cock my head and listen hard until I can hear the faint sounds of a guitar and drums softly playing downstairs.

"Aw they started without you?" I ask and Mike shrugs.

"They probably thought it'd be rude to drag me away from you,"

"Well they're right but you better go, I'll see you later yeah?" I ask heading upstairs and he casts me a wave, heading down the basement.

I have a quick shower and use Billie Joe's hair dryer to dry it quickly, letting it fall in long fluffy waves down my back and put on some eyeliner and mascara, I still wanna look purdy for Billie Joe, terrible as that sounds. I dig in my bag and pull out my severely beaten up ballet pumps and lace them up my bare legs, pulling on a plain black leotard. I grab the iPod and creep downstairs, into the living room and shutting the door.

I push all the furniture up against the walls and head over to the stereo, putting the iPod in the dock thingy. I stick on some crap to warm up to, holding onto the edge of the couch to stretch my legs, standing on tiptoe, doing side and forward splits and a good old fashioned crab to stretch my back. When I feel warmed up enough I head over and select Muse - I Belong To You and start dancing. I'm not paying attention at all, I'm seriously lost in the music, doing whatever feels good, from spinning across the room perfectly balanced, on the spot doing my steps until finally its gets to that lusciously slow part and I stand with my arms wrapped around myself, stepping softly, before spinning slowly, keeping time with the music, slowing again, I go up on one foot, spinning like a ballerina toy, slowing down, wrapping my arms around myself and falling gently to my knees. I stay like that until it builds again and I rise slowly and spin out on the crescendo, stepping on the spot, arms flowing through the air until I throw myself into the air in a spin landing it gracefully and folding my legs beneath me. It continues into the next song and I keep going, doing whatever feels good, feeling that wonderful familiar swell in my heart that I get when I dance.

Before I know it I've danced to the rest of the Muse - Resistance album and I have to select more music. I bite my lip in the silence. What could I dance to now? I swallow hard and scroll through until I come to Pink Floyd - Wish You Were Here putting it up as loud as possible.

I move stiffly to the first part sticking with the feeling of the demo sounding guitar. When the real guitar kicks in I step up onto my tiptoes and flow my arms through the air, my toes making circles in the air as I bring them up. I bite my lip and choke back my tears as I flow through the song, feeling every beat, every stroke of the guitar, every goddamn syllable of the words. I swallow hard and feel my lips forming the words as I dance, my voice soon slides out too and I'm singing softly dancing to this wonderful song. I'm all over the room, dancing slowly, keeping my eyes closed as I focus on nothing but the music. When the wind starts to blow, I fold my legs beneath me and hold my head in my hands, crying. Crying for my mother.

"Rose," Someone breathes and I turn to see Billie, Mike and Tre gawping at me from the doorway. I quickly wipe away my tears and get to my feet.

"How long have you been there?" I ask and they avert their gaze.

"Not long," Billie murmurs and I clench my fists to my sides. I can feel the blush in my cheeks, I'm so fucking embarrassed.

"You had no fucking right spying on me! You lot were supposed to be having band practise," I growl and they physically wince.

"We're sorry Rosie," they whisper and I feel the tears sting my eyes again.

"Stop calling me Rosie! You had absolutely no right being here watching me! No right at all! In fact Mike you said you'd keep them out the fucking living room and look where you all are!" I shout and Mike flinches.

"Its not a big deal Rosie, you're amazing I don't know why you would want to hide it," Billie whispers and I just want to fucking explode.

"It is a big deal! Its a pretty big fucking deal to me! I show people when I'm fucking ready and I thought I could trust you guys enough to oh I dunno, knock first! Is that so much to ask! While I'm at it, if any of you call me Rosie again, I swear I'm gonna -" I cut myself off, trying to storm out passed them. Billie grabs my arm and I tug it from him, glaring at him through my tears.

"Leave me the fuck alone," I whisper and pull away, running upstairs and slamming my door.