If I'm Not Out Burning.
1.
I squished the brown paper against the blue section of the merry-go-round with a triumphant smile on my face. One more bad habit kicked.
“Baby it’s out,” he pointed out, covering his mouth with the inside of his fist, laughing a laugh that always seemed to warm my heart.
“I know,” I replied, continuing to stub the blunt to death. “I’m just enjoying this last moment of something I should have done a long time ago.” I was just being honest with myself; the truth hurt, but better late than never my dad always said. Man never showed up on time for anything in his life.
Daniel laughed beside me, pulling me to him. “I’m glad my last time was with you, baby.”
I looked into his eyes, a passionate smile on my face. Good thing I didn’t know things would only go downhill from here or I would have resurrected that blunt back to life with every ounce of will I possessed. I was naïve and experiencing my first – and only – love, a love that was more meaningful and disastrous than any love I had ever encountered from afar.
“I am too, baby,” I whispered, wrapping my arm around his arched knee and propping my head on it to look into his gorgeous hazel eyes. “You sure you don’t want it to be with Chris or Tyler? I’d understand if you did…” Truly I’d be upset if it wasn’t with me. I wanted to look back on this moment and remember it as us overcoming one of our first obstacles together, knowing that we could do anything we set our minds to.
He smiled and rubbed my thigh with his fingers. “I’m good as fuck with it, boo. I’m so good.”
My heart turned into a million butterflies and fluttered through my entire body, my fingertips tingling with angst and butterfly kisses. I wanted to sit on that merry-go-round forever and just look at him and love him until we shriveled away, knowing everything was alright in the end. Life isn’t always perfect, though, and the perfection of my life had ended before my conception – I never had a chance.
“Baby it’s out,” he pointed out, covering his mouth with the inside of his fist, laughing a laugh that always seemed to warm my heart.
“I know,” I replied, continuing to stub the blunt to death. “I’m just enjoying this last moment of something I should have done a long time ago.” I was just being honest with myself; the truth hurt, but better late than never my dad always said. Man never showed up on time for anything in his life.
Daniel laughed beside me, pulling me to him. “I’m glad my last time was with you, baby.”
I looked into his eyes, a passionate smile on my face. Good thing I didn’t know things would only go downhill from here or I would have resurrected that blunt back to life with every ounce of will I possessed. I was naïve and experiencing my first – and only – love, a love that was more meaningful and disastrous than any love I had ever encountered from afar.
“I am too, baby,” I whispered, wrapping my arm around his arched knee and propping my head on it to look into his gorgeous hazel eyes. “You sure you don’t want it to be with Chris or Tyler? I’d understand if you did…” Truly I’d be upset if it wasn’t with me. I wanted to look back on this moment and remember it as us overcoming one of our first obstacles together, knowing that we could do anything we set our minds to.
He smiled and rubbed my thigh with his fingers. “I’m good as fuck with it, boo. I’m so good.”
My heart turned into a million butterflies and fluttered through my entire body, my fingertips tingling with angst and butterfly kisses. I wanted to sit on that merry-go-round forever and just look at him and love him until we shriveled away, knowing everything was alright in the end. Life isn’t always perfect, though, and the perfection of my life had ended before my conception – I never had a chance.