Where Does This Leave Me Now?

*Shylar*

“They may not be my children, but I love them as if they were.” Kryce sighed, running a hand through his hair.

James and Tora were now fourteen and going through that rough teenage stage. It was especially rough since their technically real father, Demik, died a few years back. Me and Demik had adopted them as babies, so I guess, in reality, we were their real parents. But anyways, it was rough especially since they figured they would constantly remind Kryce that he wasn’t their father.

It took a toll on both of us seeing as he was the one getting yelled at and I was the one to calm him down. Yeah, this wasn’t the best time for our little family. But we tried to get through it the best we could.

“I know Kryce, they’re just going through a rough time, they just started high school after all. It’ll all blow over soon. Don’t worry.” I assured him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders.

We were sitting in the kitchen after both James and Tora had stormed out when they left for school. I’m not sure what Kryce had said, but I guess it tweaked a nerve in Tora. She said some nasty things, so did James, and then they stormed off, leaving me to calm down Kryce. Again

“Sometimes I feel like they don’t even want me around. It gets to be so much sometimes, I can hardly stand it. And with Maseera at her mom’s for the rest of the year, I have no one but you, Shy. You don’t know how hard it is.” he mumbled, leaning his head against the table.

“Hey, don’t think like that, things will get better. You know how it goes, it has to get worse before it can get better.” I whispered, setting my head on his shoulder.

Kryce shoved me away harshly. “Well what if it doesn’t, huh? What then? Do I get more useless advice from you telling me it will be ok when it really won’t?”

I backed away from him slowly, shaking my head. Why would he say that? I was only trying to comfort him.

“C’mon Shy, don’t take it like that, you know what I mean.” Kryce said, standing and opening his arms to me.

“Is that all I’m good for? Useless advice? I’ve been nothing but kind to you, I calm you down after Tora yells at you so you don’t say anything back, I let you live here, I opened my heart to you Kryce, and this is all I’m good for in your eyes?” I ranted, still backing away.

“You know I didn’t mean it like that. I’m sorry babe.” he whispered, stepping closer again.

“No. Take your apology and shove it up your ass Kryce, because your not getting any from me.” I hissed as I turned and headed out the door.

I ignored all calls of protest from Kryce, and him telling me to come back, and that he was sorry. I didn’t want to hear another word he said. I just couldn’t be around him right now, it was too much. I found myself walking in some random direction, at that point I really didn’t care. I just wanted to be away from him.

I’m not sure how long I walked for, but I was vaguely aware that it was growing dark. Tora and James would have been home from school hours ago. I thought about calling them to tell them I was alright, but I then realized that I had forgotten my cell phone at home. I cursed my carelessness and continued walking.

Eventually I found my way downtown. I’m not sure why I walked this far, but I was sure that I was fairly calm now. That’s when I noticed all the lights and sounds coming from the city square. That’s right, the carnival was in town this weekend. I would have to remember to Bring the twins here tomorrow if they weren’t mad at me.

I made my way towards the carnival and began wandering through the booths, seeing what was all here this year. I had this odd sensation that felt like I was being led somewhere. The feeling seemed to go away as I paused in front of a fortune tellers small tent. I’m not sure why, but I felt the need to go in.

When I entered, I was greeted by the smells of many herbs and spices. There were beaded strands hanging from the ceiling and thick curtains everywhere. I looked around but saw no one. Strange, maybe I would just come back a little later.

“Please, have a seat.” a voice said from somewhere off to my right.

I looked to see and mid-aged woman standing there, smiling lightly. She was dressed in cloths that would look appropriate on a gypsy, her skin was a soft tan, her hair a deep black, and her eyes were the color of sapphires.

I nodded slightly and took a seat on one of the plush cushions in front of a small table. The woman took a seat opposite me. She sat in silence, just looking at me. It was as though she expected me to explain why I was here.

“Um…I’m not really sure why I’m here…I just felt…” I started.

“The need to enter?” she cut me off.

“Uh, yeah actually.”

“Well then, give me your hand, and I’ll tell you what I see.” she smiled, offering out her hand palm up.

I hesitantly placed my own hand against the smooth skin of hers. She closed her eyes for a moment, then opened them and looked at me sadly.

“You’ve had much heartbreak in your life Shylar. You lost the love of your life, and now you feel as if you’re losing your new love as well.”

“I…yeah. How did you know?” I asked, shocked.

“Hush.”

I went silent and she continued, though her voice didn’t seem as soft now, it didn’t seem like her own.

“There is a chance to change your past, and your present. You must make him fall for you, on your own. Prevent the danger he suffered, and ease the pain. One year to change it all, if you don’t, all will remain the same.”

I looked at her in confusion. What did she mean? What do I have to change? I didn’t understand any of it, she didn’t seem to be making any sense.

“Go. Now.” she ordered.

I all but bolted out of my seat at the severity of her voice. I left the tent in a rush and left the carnival as well. What the hell was that all about? She must have been crazy. Though I can’t deny she wasn’t a fake. She did know my name and my past, and I was sure I had never met her before. Strange.

I walked through the city aimlessly and eventually found myself in a small park. A sad smile crept onto my face as I realized where I was. Me and Demik used to come here often. We would sit on one of the benches beneath the oak tree and just talk.

I made my way to where I knew the benches were. When I arrived, I sat down at the one me and Demik usually occupied. I could still faintly see where we had carved our initials into the back. I smiled to myself and laid on my back across the whole length of the bench.

Staring at the stars I recalled the memories of Demik I had been holding in for so long. The way his eyes sparkled when he smiled. The way his hair shone in the sunlight. The way he would lunge at me and hug me when I said something that made him happy.

A single tear slid down my cheek as I thought of how I had lost him. I was vaguely aware that my eyes had slipped shut. And even less of the fact that I began to drift to sleep.

****

I woke up confused. I was in a soft bed, though I was sure I had fallen asleep on that park bench. Maybe Kryce found me asleep and brought me home. I opened my eyes slowly and looked around. This wasn’t our room. Where was I?

I sat up and took a better look around. The room had pale blue walls and a light beige carpet. Definitely not mine and Kryces room. That’s when I heard someone calling me. And that’s when I found myself confused in a whole other way.

“Shylar! Get up, time for school!”

That sounded like my mother. But it couldn’t be. She had passed away three years ago. I attended her funeral. I got out of bed slowly, and after making sure I was decent, made my way out of the room. This place looked a lot like where I used to live in high school. The structure seemed to be the same at least. But this couldn’t be possible.

I made my way down a set of stairs and to where I assumed the voice had come from. Sure enough, I found a woman in the kitchen preparing what smelled like bacon and eggs. She was humming lightly with her back turned to me.

I coughed a little and she squeaked in surprise. When she turned around I felt my eyes go wide with shock.

“Jesus Shy, you scared me. I could’ve burnt myself. Sit down and eat, then go get ready. You have school in an hour.” my mother said.

It felt like I was on autopilot. I sat at the kitchen table and stared as she continued to make breakfast. This couldn’t be possible. My mother looked like she did when I was seventeen. This had to be a dream, there was no other explanation for it.

A little while later, my mother set a plate of food in front of me with a soft command of “eat”. Again I felt like I was on autopilot, I ate in silence and thought over this odd situation. When I was finished, my mother took the plate from me and told me to go upstairs and get dressed.

I headed back to the room I woke up in and made my way to the closet. I dug through until I found something comfortable. Black skinnies and a Bullet For My Valentine tee. I was heading to the bathroom to get changed when I caught my reflection in a full length mirror by the dresser.

I nearly screamed at the sight. I was no longer in my thirties with slight laugh lines and a look of knowledge, I was my seventeen year old self again; pale complexion, messy black hair, and thinner then I used to be. Well, thinner then when I was thirty-five. How odd of a thought.

I got dressed quickly and dug around for some make-up. If I was seventeen again I may as well look it. I traced black eyeliner around my eyes and dusted on a light gray shadow on the lids. I found some of my bracelets sitting atop the dresser, so I put those on to.

Once again I looked at myself in the mirror. Yeah, I looked like my seventeen year old self now. I headed out of the room and was about to ask my mom where my car keys were when I had a thought. I couldn’t remember If I had my license at this age or not. Also, I couldn’t remember how I acted at this age either. Shit.

I heard the doorbell ring and hopped down the stairs to answer it. If I was really back in time, then I may as well try and act like I’m actually seventeen and belong here. I opened the door and my heart dropped to my stomach at the sight before me.

I fumbled for words for a moment. Now this was way too surreal for me. It had to be a dream. This couldn’t be real. There was just no way. When I found my voice again, I was only able to utter one word. And it felt foreign on my tongue after so many years.

“Demik?”