If Looks Could Kill, I'd Be Dead

Theta

Loren, Sacha, Camden and I are at the Yogen Früz shop after school, yet again. Loren loved it so much that we decided to go again. It’s a bit quieter now because Camden is here. He’s so quiet and timid. I just want to wrap my arms around him and tell him that it’s okay; that we’ll be his friends. But after what Sascha told me happened in theatre class, I knew that that obviously could not happen.

Camden is sitting there, his leg bouncing up and down on the footrest of the stool. He gingerly takes the smallest bites out of Loren’s dish of blueberry Yogen Früz. He dips the spoon into the frozen yogurt and licks what little bit is on his spoon into his mouth, his tongue flicking over the tip of the spoon.

This is the first time I’ve actually gotten a good look at his face. He had pale skin, pitch black hair, and the brightest blue eyes I’ve ever seen! Sascha’s eyes are more of a pale kind of blue, but Camden’s are a very vivid kind of colour, but the fringe of his hair usually hides his jewel-like eyes.

I look over at Sascha and he’s looking so intently at Camden… I don’t even know. He’s just openly looking at him. Loren is too busy eating his cold treat to notice Sascha’s gaping. But I notice. Actually, I notice everything about Sascha, but that’s beside the point… A smirk makes its way onto Sascha’s lips. As Camden brings another minuscule bit of yogurt to his mouth, Sascha subtly licks his lips.

He shakes his head, running his hands through his hair. He looks up and meets my eyes. I give him a questioning look; a sort of, What the hell? look. He instantly blushes and shrugs, an embarrassed smile replacing the smirk. I shrug back at him.

I hear the familiar ring of Loren’s phone, disrupting my silent interrogation of Sascha.

“Hold on a sec, guys. It’s meh mum.” He rushes out of his seat and through the doors of the shop. Sascha and I look at him animatedly talking while Camden is just in his own little world, carefully picking at the small mound that’s left of Loren’s dessert. After a few minutes, Loren returns back inside.

“Guys, I’m sorreh. Camden and I can’t make it tah the party this weekend. Our mum says we’ve got some bloody chores tah do.” He frowns, muttering, “Blast it all.” under his breath.

“Sorry.” Sascha says, his perfect mouth forming a pout.

“It’s okay, Loren. Next time.” I offer a small smile, getting up to hug him. I wrap my arms around his torso, my hands feeling the muscles in his back. Mmm… He returns the embrace, leaning down to hug me tightly to him. The hug only lasts for a few moments, though I wish it could have been much longer.

We reluctantly? let go of each other and return to our seats. Sascha is grinning; when I meet his eyes, he winks at me. Camden is finishing the last bite of Loren’s yogurt. Loren ruffles his brother’s hair, causing the smaller boy to instantly smile. I don’t believe I’ve ever seem Camden smile, and let me tell you; it had to be the cutest smile ever. His eyes lit up and his braces showed through his parted lips. I wish I could ruffle his hair like Loren did.

“Did yeh like it, Camden?” Loren asks his younger brother.

“Yeah, I did.” He says almost inaudibly. “It was very yummy.” His voice is so soft Sascha and I have to lean in a bit to hear what he had to say.

“Mum wouldn’t let us go to this party…” Loren’s mouth upturns into a hopeful smile. “but would you loike tah go tah the next one with Sacha, Theta, and I?” Camden’s own smile falters a bit.

“Uh…” he looks nervously between Sascha and I. I smile a little, trying to emanate encouragement off to him.

“Oh, c’mon, Cam. It should be ace. Sascha and Theta are noice people. They want tah be your friends, yeah?” Loren catches my eye, and grins.

I take a chance and reach over to touch his hand, half covered by his sleeve. He stiffens up at first, but when he looks into my eyes, he relaxes the slightest bit.

“I want you to come, Camden. Well, we do, right Sasch?” I glance at Sascha briefly. He looks at my hand on Camden’s hand. I see his thought process: should I really try touching him again, should I not? After earlier… He decides to just rest his hand down on top of mine.

“It’ll be a great time.” Sascha reassures. Camden looks at our hands, frowning, but more in a questioning manner, than distressed, but still a tad fearful. He then looks back at his brother.

“O-okay…” he finally says.

“Oh, good!” I remove Sascha and I’s hands. I didn’t want to make him too uncomfortable and nervous, though I feel like I’ve already done so.

“Laur, didn’t mum say we had tah be home after we finished our Yogen Früz?” Camden almost whispers to Loren.

“Oh, roight. I’ll go throw the duff away, then.” He quickly picks up his trash, walks to the trash bin and throws it away. “Camden and I’ll be leaving now. Thank you…” He glances at Sascha, but then looks straight in my eyes. “for everything.” He smiles at us, and then takes his brother’s sleeve-covered hand. Camden puts the other sleeve in his mouth and chews on it as they walk out the doors and back to their home.

“So, Sasch…” I look over at him and smirk. “You and Camden earlier… what was that all about?” A pinky red colour makes its way up his pale cheeks.

“Oh? Geez Theta, nothing. I was just, er, weirded out that he was eating really slowly. You know…” I laugh at his stuttering.

“Oh, babe. I’m just kidding.” I smile and take our empty yogurt cups to the trash, leaving him for a second to compose himself. “C’mon, let’s go back home.” I say once I get back.

“My house or yours?” he asks.

“Your house.” I reply. No one is usually home at Sascha’s house; his mother travels for business quite often and his father left when he was very young. Sascha’s never really had a father figure there for him because his mom never remarried and his father didn’t really make an effort to stay in his life. Sascha comes over a lot and usually one of us sleeps at the other’s house. My parents let me sleep over there with him because they feel bad for Sascha, not having any parents there for him.

We talked about this once. It was a few years ago. Sascha was fifteen, I believe. I remember him coming over and crying because he was so lonely. Mom let him stay until late that night. But now, I just sleep over there sometimes, and we stop at my house so that I can change and shower quickly the next morning before school.

“Alright.” He smiles and then we walk out of the shop to his car. It’s a short drive back to his house and for some reason I’m unusually tired. We walk up to his room, and I say,

“Sasch… I’m really tired.” I even yawn. It’s strange, I’m not usually tired ever.

“Oh, well come over here, sweetheart.” He gets on his bed and lays down, arms open wide. I go over and lay down next to him, his arms wrapping around me.

I love snuggling with Sascha. He’s the most cuddly person I know and he always makes me feel safe. It’s too bad he’s gay.

My cheek is pressed against his chest and my leg is draped over his thin waist. He’s laying on his back, his thumbs rubbing my sides. I yawn again.

“Babe, it’s only… five something.” He says into my hair. He yawns too. “Well, I’m kind of tired too…”

“Goodnight, Sasch.” I say, half asleep against my best friends warm body.

“Night, night, Theta.” He responds, kissing the top of my head before I fall into a tranquil sleep in my best friend’s arms.