What Happens in Arizona

Chapter 23 – May the best man win

And I thought about it, what happened last night wasn’t right. Yes, it made me feel happy but it just wasn’t right. I wanted my first time to be special, and—and I don’t think that would happen. It scared me; something in me was missing because of last night. My mood suddenly changed, Joel slipped my mind and all I could think about was how terrified I am.

John came out of our bedroom with nothing but his boxers, he must have forgotten about the cat scratches I’ve penetrated on his back last night. He glanced at me and walked towards the couch; Lily quickly excused herself and went to their room. John and I were the only ones left in the living room; he flopped down to the empty space on the couch next to me.

“Hey.” He greeted, turning to me.

I gave him a soft smile, trying to avoid his gaze.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, baffled.

“Oh, it’s—it’s nothing.” I stuttered.

He looked at me confusingly, holding both my arms. “N—nothing, my body just hurts badly.” I replied, shaking of his arms. He still looked at me worriedly; I stood up and headed inside our bedroom. Joel and his band will be coming over tonight, and I haven’t told him about it. And it’s already eating me up, and now I’m not feeling okay.

Also, I’ve always wanted my first time to be special, well it was but—but something just doesn’t feel right. He followed me inside, dashing through the door and slamming it hard. The echoes went through every corner of my flat, I bet everyone heard it.

“What was that all about?!” I exclaimed.

“What was that all about? You’re asking me? Amy, you just walked out on me for no fucking reason!” he shouted, glaring at me.

My knees started to weaken and my eyes burned, all my life I’ve never been screamed at by someone else. Not even my dad, no—he couldn’t do that. I wasn’t sure what to do, I could scream at him back but I wouldn’t know what to say. So I just stared at him, my eyes narrowing to his.

“I—I told you John, its n—nothing. I just have pains all o—over my body,” I replied, my voice was already shaking.

His expression suddenly changed, his face fell. While I stood there watching over him, we stayed like that for a minute or two. Then I decided to crawl over the thick mattresses on my bed, burying my face into a pillow. He followed my lead and crawled up next to me, wrapping his long arms around my back.

“I—I’m sorry.” He whispered.

I didn’t reply, I was too startled by what just happened. Next thing I knew, my tears were falling non-stop and I was sobbing. Everything happened too fast, this morning I was just having a pep talk with Ella and Lily. Now I just got screamed at by John, I don’t quite understand what’s happening.

His grasps tightened as he pulled in closer to me, “Amy—I’m sorry. I just got a little freaked out a while ago, I’m sorry. Please—please stop crying.” He said, he sounded like he was pleading.

I didn’t move, I just sobbed and sobbed. His hands moved slowly to my back, rubbing it gently. It was so comforting; I raised my head and turned to him. “John, I—I wanted my first time to be special. That’s all, I’m sorry for freaking you out.” I sobbed, slowly turning away from him.

There was a hint of shock in his face, and realization that what we did last night isn’t right but it wasn’t really wrong either. He held my shoulder, turning me to face him and he looked deeply into my eyes.

“I—I’m really sorry Amy, I didn’t know.” He said.

“It’s—its fine John, we can’t really do something about it know right?” I replied, forcing out a small laugh.

“No—Amy, I’m sorry. I was too selfish, and I shouldn’t have done that. And it’s all my fault, I’m sorry.” He replied, holding unto my face tighter.

“It’s fine John, really. I just needed to get it out of my system.” I said, smiling at him widely.
He moved his arms around my back and pulled me into a tight embrace, I—accidentally held onto his back too tight that I forgot about his scratches. He whimpered in pain, pulling away a little. I looked at him worriedly and hopped out of bed to reach for the first-aid kit.

“I’m really sorry about this John.” I apologized, applying a pain-relieving lotion on his back. He glanced back at me and smiled, holding my hand to stop me from what I was doing. “It’s okay—I deserve it for forcing you to make love with me last night,” he smiled. I sighed deeply and smiled back at him, at least I don’t feel that bad anymore.
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Kennedy fell unto the couch and rested his head on the curve, Garrett was having an intense conversation with Brooklyn, Lily and Ella were telling John about Joel and his band coming over tonight and I was with Pat at the kitchen.
“So—you met Joel at that club we went to before the wedding?” Pat suddenly asked.
I turned to him quickly with a puzzled look, “Hmm, yeah I did.”
“Ooh, so you’re friends?” he asked again.

I gave him a quick nod and returned to what I was doing, the food was barely ready and everyone was already hungry. Kennedy was whining at the living room about how hungry he is already, and John’s face started to distort as Ella finished her sentence about Joel coming over.

“Amy, I’m really—really hungry.” Kennedy whined, popping his head from the door frame.
I gave out a small laugh and turned to him, “I’m sorry that it’s taking so long but you asked for this dish and now you’re going to get it—so patience, Kenny.”

He sighed and returned back to his seat, I finished up the dish that I was cooking and headed towards the living room. “Hey guys, dinner’s ready.” I exclaimed, Kennedy shot up from his seat and dashed towards the kitchen. Everyone else then followed, the table was placed elegantly and the dishes were arranged by type.

It was the first time I’ve tried setting up dinner in a restaurant style, and I was definitely proud of myself. A few minutes passed; there was a knock on the door. Ella got up to see who it was, and came back with a man. It was just Joel; he was wearing a plaid polo and black pants with a smile plastered into his face.

“Hey guys!” he greeted, seating down next to John and me.

I adjusted my seat as everyone greeted him back with huge smiles, John greeted him back awkwardly but he didn’t seem to mind that. Joel turned to me and grinned, “Hi Joel—it’s a pleasure having dinner with you tonight.” I greeted pleasantly. John shifted his seat closer to me, placing his arm around my back. There was an awkward silence for a while but Ella managed to break it with her humor.

“Ehem—so Joel, why’d you come alone?” she asked, taking a bite from her bread.

He glanced at Ella and took a sip from his drink, “The guys decided to go to a club instead, I didn’t go with though. I can’t turn down A—,”

“Oh! A club eh? Well, that’s too bad. They just missed a wonderful dinner that was all prepared by Amy,” Ella exclaimed, quickly cutting him off from finishing his sentence that would get me in trouble.

He nodded confusedly and turned his attention towards me, John’s arm wrapped tighter around me shoulder as he saw Joel focusing on what I was doing with my plate.
“So Amy—you cooked all of this?” Joel asked, his gaze directed to me.

I turned to him and nodded softly, smiling at him. “Well, this is delicious. Since when did you start cooking?” he continued. John seemed uncomfortable with the situation since he’d cringe when Joel starts talking.

“Hmm—when I was still in high school, my grandmother thought me how to.” I replied, a smile still plastered into my face.

“Oh—that’s awesome, you’re awesome.” He said, turning back to his plate and carrying on to finishing his dinner.

John loosened his grasps on my shoulder and took a spoonful of mashed potatoes into his mouth, “You okay?” I asked softly. He turned to me and swallowed the food in his mouth, “Yep—why wouldn’t I be?” he lied, sipping coke from his cup.

The dinner continued half-awkwardly yet pleasant, we talked about shows and songs and other bands. Until Kennedy realized that they were gonna go touring very soon, together with A Rocket to the Moon. Things went better than I’ve expected, and to be honest, I was a bit worried about how John acted in front of Joel at the dinner table although Joel didn’t seem to notice that since he was enjoying the pleasure of having a delicious meal made by yours truly.

-------------------------------------------------------

“So Amy—thanks a lot, for the wonderful dinner.” He said, heading towards the front door.
I gave him a soft smile and a nod, “Anytime Joel—you should come by sometime before you leave.”
“I definitely will! But Amy—is John fine? He doesn’t look well a while ago at dinner.” He replied while turning the knob and opening the door.

I could see John glaring at us from the corner of my eye, he didn’t like it when I talked to Joel “alone”, he despises that habit of mine. “Yeah—he’s fine. Don’t worry about him.” I replied, following him outside.

“But Amy—,” he started, turning to face me. “I have a question though.”

I definitely saw this coming; I knew what he was going to ask me. From that time I saw him at the plaza, I knew that he was going to ask that.

“Yeah? What is it?” I replied, leaning at the door frame.

He stared at me for a while and swallowed, “Are you and John—together?”

This was hard; I wasn’t really sure what to tell him. Me and John—we’re just starting out again, but we weren’t together. If I told him that, what could he possibly do? I worried, my forehead creased and I looked at intensely.

“Well—uhm, I wouldn’t say that we’re together. Because—we really aren’t, I guess we’re just starting out.” I replied, panic filled my every word.

He was just staring blankly at space for a while, and then snapped back. He ran his lips through his teeth and turned back his focus on me. “So—would it be weird if I started to ask you out or…” he trailed off.

Oh no, what should I answer him? it wouldn’t be weird of course, it’s fine for me. But—what about John? What about him? He would rage if he heard what Joel just said, I wanted to walk away but I had to answer him. I didn’t know what to say but I had to answer him, because he deserves an answer.

“Well—it wouldn’t be weird for me Joel but John—,”

“Yes! Of course it would be weird for me, what would you think Joel? That I’d let you steal her away from me suddenly?” John suddenly snapped, as he opened the door and came out as quick as a lightning.

“But of course, I wouldn’t take away your right to court since I’m not in the position…yet. But I’m telling you as soon as now, I won’t be and I will never be comfortable with you asking my girl out.” He continued.

I wasn’t able to speak, so I just stared at the both of them as John walked closer to Joel that they were already face-to-face. Oh great! My life has become a series of drama, what have I gotten myself into? And why would Joel ask me out? He’s a wonderful guy and I am just me, a regular 21 year old woman.

Joel let out a small laugh which made me think that they were just joking about everything, but John’s expression remained still. “Well—may the best man win.” He said, walking away.

My mouth dropped open in shock, this was no joke. Everything is real, everything is happening and I don’t know what to do. John turned to me and ran his hand through his matted hair, “I’m not gonna let him steal you away from me but I also have to fight fair.” He said softly, leaning towards me and placing a kiss unto my forehead.