Status: Active
Our False Reality
Chapter 6
“All I do is hurt the people I love,” she says then she falls onto her bed and screams repeatedly into a pillow. Brendon watches her. He knows better than to touch her or say something yet. He knows her and he knows when to wait. She finally stops screaming and turns on her back.
“Talk to me,” he says.
“Why is this happening to me? Why are they investigating us? We didn’t do anything wrong. I didn’t do anything wrong. I went to get help instead of killing myself and now we are all being punished.”
“They aren’t punishing you. The police just want to make sure you’re being taken care of and that you’re getting the help you need.”
“I am.”
“You told them that and they’ll go away. Tell me what you’re really upset about because I know it’s not the police snooping in your business.”
“My mum keeps asking how could they do this to her? It’s like a flashback to when I first started cutting and she made it all about her. She wants to make everything about her.”
“One day you won’t have to deal with her anymore.”
“I want her to love me.”
“She does.”
“But she’s disappointed in me.”
“I know all about that. They get over it eventually. They accept you even if you’re not who they wanted you to be. They learn that you are going to be who you are and there’s nothing they can do about it.”
“I just feel so guilty.”
“Why?”
“Because I have all these issues and my family has to be put through this mess because of me. They’re always being put through shit because of me. I just cause them problems.”
“That’s not true.”
“Do you ever want to leave? I use you to help me. If I didn’t need you because of my issues you wouldn’t even be here.”
He shrugs. “I don’t mind it because I get to be with you either way. I see past your issues. I see the special person you really are.”
“Thanks.”
“Anytime baby.”
He cuddles her and sings softly “Don’t worry about a thing because every little thing’s gonna be alright.”
---
“I can’t do it. I don’t want to get better anymore. Don’t make me do it!” she sobs, clinging to him desperately.
“It’s going to be okay. You didn’t think you could handle two weeks at the inpatient hospital last time and you loved it. It will be okay this time too. It’s only outpatient. It will be just like going to school. You get to come home after a few hours and on the weekends,” he reassures her.
“I don’t want to do it.”
“I know,” he holds her and lets her calm down as he sings to her.
“Don’t worry about a thing cause every little thing’s gonna’ be alright.” It’s one of her favorite songs and she calms down after a few minutes, wiping her eyes and sniffling.
“Play something for me baby,” he tugs her to the piano.
“Okay,” she nods. Her fingers fly over keys and she sings, eyes closed. Brendon recognizes the song from her ipod after a few moments. She’s playing it slower than intended by the artist but it’s the same song she listens to when she’s feeling down. He takes over the singing.
“If you jump I’ll break your fall, lift you up and fly away with you into the night. If you need to fall apart I can mend a broken heart and if you need to crash then crash and burn you’re not alone. When it’s over you’ll breathe again.”
She smiles and it’s such a beautiful smile. He pulls her small frame into his arms where she fits perfectly then kisses her lips. She kisses back and he leads her to the bedroom.
“Talk to me,” he says.
“Why is this happening to me? Why are they investigating us? We didn’t do anything wrong. I didn’t do anything wrong. I went to get help instead of killing myself and now we are all being punished.”
“They aren’t punishing you. The police just want to make sure you’re being taken care of and that you’re getting the help you need.”
“I am.”
“You told them that and they’ll go away. Tell me what you’re really upset about because I know it’s not the police snooping in your business.”
“My mum keeps asking how could they do this to her? It’s like a flashback to when I first started cutting and she made it all about her. She wants to make everything about her.”
“One day you won’t have to deal with her anymore.”
“I want her to love me.”
“She does.”
“But she’s disappointed in me.”
“I know all about that. They get over it eventually. They accept you even if you’re not who they wanted you to be. They learn that you are going to be who you are and there’s nothing they can do about it.”
“I just feel so guilty.”
“Why?”
“Because I have all these issues and my family has to be put through this mess because of me. They’re always being put through shit because of me. I just cause them problems.”
“That’s not true.”
“Do you ever want to leave? I use you to help me. If I didn’t need you because of my issues you wouldn’t even be here.”
He shrugs. “I don’t mind it because I get to be with you either way. I see past your issues. I see the special person you really are.”
“Thanks.”
“Anytime baby.”
He cuddles her and sings softly “Don’t worry about a thing because every little thing’s gonna be alright.”
---
“I can’t do it. I don’t want to get better anymore. Don’t make me do it!” she sobs, clinging to him desperately.
“It’s going to be okay. You didn’t think you could handle two weeks at the inpatient hospital last time and you loved it. It will be okay this time too. It’s only outpatient. It will be just like going to school. You get to come home after a few hours and on the weekends,” he reassures her.
“I don’t want to do it.”
“I know,” he holds her and lets her calm down as he sings to her.
“Don’t worry about a thing cause every little thing’s gonna’ be alright.” It’s one of her favorite songs and she calms down after a few minutes, wiping her eyes and sniffling.
“Play something for me baby,” he tugs her to the piano.
“Okay,” she nods. Her fingers fly over keys and she sings, eyes closed. Brendon recognizes the song from her ipod after a few moments. She’s playing it slower than intended by the artist but it’s the same song she listens to when she’s feeling down. He takes over the singing.
“If you jump I’ll break your fall, lift you up and fly away with you into the night. If you need to fall apart I can mend a broken heart and if you need to crash then crash and burn you’re not alone. When it’s over you’ll breathe again.”
She smiles and it’s such a beautiful smile. He pulls her small frame into his arms where she fits perfectly then kisses her lips. She kisses back and he leads her to the bedroom.