Status: Active
Our False Reality
Chapter 7
She is sobbing on the hospital floor, taking in gasping breaths and screaming out. He picks her up and places her on the bed, holding her and whispering to her it’ll be okay. She fights it at first, tries to push him away. He holds her tighter. “I can’t take anymore of this Bren. I’m going to go crazier than I already am. I’m never going to get better and I hate myself and…” she tries to catch her breath. “Everyone hates me now. I’m alone and I can’t take it. I’m falling apart Brenny.”
“You aren’t crazy. You’re just going through a hard time. You’re already on the track to getting better. No one hates. You are not alone. If you fall apart I’ll put you back together again,” he says.
She closes her eyes and gives into his warm embrace.
---
She wakes up from a nightmare and reaches for him. He is there to comfort her in the darkness. “He touched me Bren. I trusted him and I cared about him and he fucking touched me. Everyone just pretends it didn’t happen but even after these years I remember.”
“He can’t hurt you anymore. I’ve got you,” he assures her.
---
“Where have you been?” she looked up at him with her sad hazel eyes. He’d been gone ever since she started therapy.
“You were getting better honey. What happened?”
“I don’t know,” she shook her head. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. It’s okay,” he sat down facing her. Her head was down at she stared at the floor beneath her.
“I don’t like myself very much anymore Brendon. I don’t like being this way.”
“I know,” Brendon nodded, understanding what she was saying.
“Will you stay this time?” She asked.
“You know I can’t.”
“I don’t want you to leave. You’re the only one I can talk to.”
“I have to go. I have to let you live your life the way it’s meant to be lived. What we have isn’t real. You can’t always live in fantasy worlds inside your head. One day you’re going to have to face reality and I know it’s going to hurt but you’ll make it through. You’re stronger than you know.”
“I can’t do this on my own.”
“Yes you can. You have to. Honey, I don’t think I can save you. I tried but you have to pull yourself up out of this mess. There’s only so much I can do.”
---
She is crying. She has graduated group therapy. She is both happy and sad at the same time. He is standing there watching her. “I needed more time. I’m not getting better,” she insists.
“You are getting better. You don’t need more time with the group or me. This is goodbye honey.”
“Goodbye? Please don’t do this Brendon. I need you.”
“You don’t need me anymore.”
“Yes I do. Please don’t go Brendon,” her heart is breaking. “This can’t be the end.”
“I’m sorry but you’re ready for this.”
“I thought you love me.”
“I do love you and that’s why I have to let you go. It’s for the best.”
“Brendon I can’t do this. I’ll die without you.”
“You will survive because you are such a strong beautiful smart girl. You can do anything you set your mind to. This isn’t easy for me either but we both knew you’d have to go back to reality sometime. You can’t live in those fantasy worlds inside your head forever. Go on and be an amazing writer and have fun. Be happy. You’ll never truly be happy if I’m here.”
“You’re wrong.”
“No, I’m not.”
“I hate you!”
“No you don’t,” he says calmly. She is mad but she will get over it. She will get over him.
“Goodbye my sweet.”
He hugs her then he is gone and for once she smiles through her tears. She smiles not because it’s over but because it happened. She smiles because she knows deep down that Brendon was right and that this was not the end but only the beginning of the whole life she has ahead of her.
“You aren’t crazy. You’re just going through a hard time. You’re already on the track to getting better. No one hates. You are not alone. If you fall apart I’ll put you back together again,” he says.
She closes her eyes and gives into his warm embrace.
---
She wakes up from a nightmare and reaches for him. He is there to comfort her in the darkness. “He touched me Bren. I trusted him and I cared about him and he fucking touched me. Everyone just pretends it didn’t happen but even after these years I remember.”
“He can’t hurt you anymore. I’ve got you,” he assures her.
---
“Where have you been?” she looked up at him with her sad hazel eyes. He’d been gone ever since she started therapy.
“You were getting better honey. What happened?”
“I don’t know,” she shook her head. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. It’s okay,” he sat down facing her. Her head was down at she stared at the floor beneath her.
“I don’t like myself very much anymore Brendon. I don’t like being this way.”
“I know,” Brendon nodded, understanding what she was saying.
“Will you stay this time?” She asked.
“You know I can’t.”
“I don’t want you to leave. You’re the only one I can talk to.”
“I have to go. I have to let you live your life the way it’s meant to be lived. What we have isn’t real. You can’t always live in fantasy worlds inside your head. One day you’re going to have to face reality and I know it’s going to hurt but you’ll make it through. You’re stronger than you know.”
“I can’t do this on my own.”
“Yes you can. You have to. Honey, I don’t think I can save you. I tried but you have to pull yourself up out of this mess. There’s only so much I can do.”
---
She is crying. She has graduated group therapy. She is both happy and sad at the same time. He is standing there watching her. “I needed more time. I’m not getting better,” she insists.
“You are getting better. You don’t need more time with the group or me. This is goodbye honey.”
“Goodbye? Please don’t do this Brendon. I need you.”
“You don’t need me anymore.”
“Yes I do. Please don’t go Brendon,” her heart is breaking. “This can’t be the end.”
“I’m sorry but you’re ready for this.”
“I thought you love me.”
“I do love you and that’s why I have to let you go. It’s for the best.”
“Brendon I can’t do this. I’ll die without you.”
“You will survive because you are such a strong beautiful smart girl. You can do anything you set your mind to. This isn’t easy for me either but we both knew you’d have to go back to reality sometime. You can’t live in those fantasy worlds inside your head forever. Go on and be an amazing writer and have fun. Be happy. You’ll never truly be happy if I’m here.”
“You’re wrong.”
“No, I’m not.”
“I hate you!”
“No you don’t,” he says calmly. She is mad but she will get over it. She will get over him.
“Goodbye my sweet.”
He hugs her then he is gone and for once she smiles through her tears. She smiles not because it’s over but because it happened. She smiles because she knows deep down that Brendon was right and that this was not the end but only the beginning of the whole life she has ahead of her.
♠ ♠ ♠
The bittersweet ending