Keep It Secret, Keeps Us Safe

Friday, March 25, 2011

Jack shimmies into his tight black jeans and throws on a black button-up shirt complete with a red tie. Tonight he has a date with a girl from his father's company, something he isn't looking forward. She had picked a fancy restaurant Jack has no interest in.
The lanky boy walks down the stairs to his parents. They both look up at their son, proud he's dating girls and not Alex. His mother isn't one to bring up the past so she coos something about how handsome he looks, leaving the rest to her husband.
"Son, don't ruin this. Get out there and play it well!" Mr. Barakat claps his son on the back and hands him the keys to his silvery blue Mazda. 
"Bye dad," Jack says making his way to the door. 
He slides his feet into the black and white Nike Dunks he picked out, laces them, and grabs his black sports' coat before leaving. He is meeting the girl there so he plans on visiting Alex first before he gets there. It's been awhile since they had a proper conversation, Alex must be hurting as much as he is. 
Jack starts the engine and drives over to the Gaskarth's house. He cuts the engine and jumps up the stairs to get to the door. One knock was all it took before Isobel answers the door. 
"Jack!" She pulls Jack into a tight bear hug in her state of overexcitement. 
"Is Alex here?" Jack smiles when Isobel has let go. 
"Yes, yes he is! You caught him before he made off to Andrew's for the night." Isobel leaves the door to get further in the house. "Alex, you have a visiter!"
Jack sneaks into the house quietly. He watches as Isobel screams her son's name a few more times before he makes his grand entrance. The brunette notices a slight change in Alex's hair color so it looks like real dirty blond.  Jack doesn't take his chocolate eyes off of Alex as he makes his way down the stairs. 
Alex looks amazing, Jack will admit. He's wearing grey sweatpants and a plain white v-neck. His hair looks perfect and the slippers on his feet don't fail to make a smile grace Jack's lips. 
"Who is it, Mom?" Alex asks stepping on the first floor wood. 
"Jack, but I'm not sure where he went."
"Right here," Jack makes his way toward Alex. 
"Jack?" Alex's eyebrows scrunch together in confusion. He's all dressed up and he came to Alex's house. Alex knows he isn't here to take him out, he knows that without any doubts. "Why are you here?"
"Stop by and talk for a few minutes." Jack glances at Isobel's mom who notices and then stumbles away to the backyard muttering something about plants and snakes. "We haven't talked in a while."
"Whose fault is that?" Alex lifts his bushy brows at Jack.
Jack sighs. He knows he's earned this, but he expected Alex to be easier on him. It's what he wants, but Alex is hurt from being put on the back burner for a while. He wants to be Jack's sun. 
"I'm sorry, Lex." Jack whispers taking Alex's hand.  
"So am I." Alex mutters just loud enough for the words to grace Jack's ears as he takes away his hand. 
Let's have a proper conversation before I leave."
"What's the point? You're just gonna leave me again."
"I have yet to leave you!" Jack is really working to keep his voice from getting loud. Alex has his arms crossed over his chest and a straight line glued to his lips. "We're together but we're staying safe."
"No." A scowl forms on Alex's lips and his eyes darken in anger and sadness. "You're in this for the fucking safety and protection, all I'm doing is becoming a miserable fuck. And it's all thanks to you."
"Alex." Jack says calmly. "Stop taking out your misery on me."
Alex rolls his brown eyes, but drops his scowl. He uncrosses his arms so they drop next to him lifelessly. The dirty blond is still tense as shown in his muscles but Jack knows Alex is trying to be okay with this and all the misery he feels he's been put through. 
Jack's okay with him being mad though. The lanky brunette has been a date every day this week while poor Alex has done his homework and study for tests. He felt like a dirty sock, used then tossed. 
"Babe, we're both new to this. We're both getting used to it. Cut me some slack here." Jack says taking both his lover's hands into his own. "We can figure out how to make this work."
Alex sighs and nods. "Yeah, I know." Alex looks up into Jack's caring brown eyes. "We're not doing well at this and I guess it's not entirely all your fault." 
A small smile graces Jack's lips as he notices Alex easing into him. "No fucking way, it's so your fault!"
Alex rolls his brown eyes and sticks out his tongue. "Shut up, Jacky!" 
"Hey, I'm just placing blame where blame should be."
"Oh, 'cause you're such a fucking saint."
"Thanks for noticing." Jack gives him a big grin as Alex just shakes his head with a small smile set upon his lips. "I love you and always you, forever." Jack says wrapping his skinny arms around the only lover he wished to have. 
"I love you too, Jacky." Alex whispers into his shoulder. 
The younger boy holds onto Alex tightly wishing he didn't have to let go. He peeks at the clock noticing it was time for him to make his way out the door. Leaving Alex now couldn't happen. It will hurt both Alex and himself and he doesn't know if can do it again. The two were just getting back to this place of perfection. 
The older boy gives the brunette a last squeeze before pulling apart. He lightly takes Jack's fingers within his own and plays with them as he begins to speak. "Maybe we should start having nightly phone conversations. None of that texting stuff - except maybe in the mornings," Alex peers at Jack from under his brown hair, "just legit conversations."
"That sounds amazing." Jack replies nodding. 
"Could we maybe start tonight? You can tell me all about that date."
"You'll be at Andrew's." Jack reminds the brunette. 
"Call me Saturday night." Alex says confidently. "I'll pick up first ring."
Jack smiles and squeezes the elder's fingers. "Sounds perfect."
"Now, I need to get going," Alex smirks up a wide eyed Jack, "and I'm sure you do too."
Alex picks up his packed bag which is just a pair of fresh boxers and a few Xbox and Nintendo 64 games. He and Jack walk together toward the door just holding fingers. They sneak looks at each other like two kids in love who didn't know it. 
"Bye Jacky," Alex smiles pulling his fingers away to get to his newly fixed up Audi. 
"Bye Lexi," Jack grins. 
They stare at each other a moment before Alex builds up his courage. He presses his lips lightly against Jack's. The younger smiles into the kiss and throws his arms around Alex's waist hoping the elder can get closer. 
Alex pulls away as Jack starts getting too in to it. "You have a date."
"Talk to you Saturday." Jack smiles lightly kissing Alex once more before hopping in his Mazda. 
He sits in his car with the engine on as he watches Alex slide into his Audi which looks strangely new and shiny. Alex turns on his blinker which must be the sign for Jack to move. Jack presses his foot softly against the pedal and reverses from the driveway. He sends a longing look towards the brunette who is playing the radio as he awaits Jack to move his car. 
The younger boy pushes away his long hair and presses his foot harder against he pedal to speed away. He was going to end up late for the date. He can't help it though. How can he leave Alex with so much unspoken? It was good that he stayed to work everything out. 
Jack is proud of what they've accomplished. They are getting better at being a couple. Fights are short and easily worked out, Jack isn't running away, and Alex is staying calmer then he usually is. The two are becoming a mature couple and Jack's proud of that. 
They may be a secret, but they're a secret worth protecting. 
Jack fiddles a bit with the radio on his way to the fancy restaurant. He checks the time to see he's already officially five minutes late and he still has ten more minutes of driving. He fishes his phone from his pocket to place a call to the girl he'd be spending his night with. 
"Jack? Where are you?"
"Hey Kelly, I'm sorry. I had to make a stop and it took me longer then I thought it would. I'm so sorry, I don't normally come late to dates." Jack assures her feeling somewhat guilty he can't even tell her why he's late. 
"It's fine, I understand. I was three minutes late so I've only been here for two minutes."
Jack knows she's lying but he doesn't call her out on it. "Okay well, I still have ten minutes left so I'll see you in ten!" Jack waits for her okay before he hangs up his phone. 
He turns the radio up loud as he continues the drive. His favorite Blink-182 album is in the CD player and he absorbs the music knowing the restaurant probably won't play it. But if he's honest, he knows he should be listening to his date and not the music on the restaurant radio. 
The lanky brunette parks the silvery-blue car and hops out. Jack makes his way hastily through the restaurant to find Kelly who he finds at a little two-person table in the corner of the restaurant. It's in a romantic place and if Kelly would have been Alex Jack would have totally been more into the vibe. 
"Hey Jack, glad you finally made it." Kelly gives Jack a smile full of pearly whites. 
"Hey Kels, you look nice." Jack compliments his date properly. 
Kelly looks more then nice though and Jack knows if he wasn't gay he would appreciate her looks even more. She has long brown hair curled to perfection, big brown doe-like eyes, and a hot body that any straight man would love. She is gorgeous, but Jack isn't straight. He wishes she was Alex since no one tops the hot meter like Alex does.
"Thanks, don't tell Daddy, but I totally got this dress for over one hundred and fifty." Kelly laughs lightly and so does Jack knowing he needed to. 
A waitress dressed in black comes over to Kelly and Jack. "How are y'all doing tonight?" She pours water in their water glasses and places bread in the middle of the table. "Can I start you guys off with some drinks and myabe a salad?"
"I'd like a Diet Cokeand no salad for me." Jack orders with a polite smile. 
"I'll take a lemonade." Kelly smiles nicely at the waitress. 
"Alright, I'll be right back with those drinks and then y'all can order." The waitress flashes the two a smile and then scurries away. 
"So Jack, your dad tells me you went through a weird phase?" Kelly asks. 
Jack sighs quietly not knowing what to say. Of course his dad would bring it up with his last date of the week. He really doesn't want to be here and Kelly deciding to say that doesn't help him. 
"Well, ya know, emo is in." Jack grins without emotion.
Kelly giggles at the white lie Jack has told. "Well, it seems as though you still like it."
"The jeans just fit well. I want everyone to see my nice ass." Jack laughs. 
"You work it, babe!" Kelly snaps her fingers while she giggles along with her date. 
They made some small talk to get to know each other better before the waitress comes over to get their orders. 
"I'll take the New York Strip Steak with shrimp and green beans, no French fries." Kelly says giving the waitress her unopened menu to the waitress, a sure sign she'd been here. 
"I'll take the New York Strip Steak with French fries, a side salad, and green beans." Jack closes his menu and surrenders it to the waitress. He is hoping to fill himself up so they don't have to be here any longer for desert. 
"So Jack, how's Blair Montgomery?" Kelly asks propping her chin up. 
Jack laughs lightly at the mix up. "I actually go to Dulany, my best friend's step-brother goes there."
Kelly's nose crinkles at the mention of the school but she quickly uncrinkles it. Jack notices and now he understands this girl. Her dad is the boss of the company so she's the snobby daughter he has. He wasn't expecting to be with a snob for the night, but as it turns out that's what he got. 
"I love Dulany, all my friends go there and everything! Our football is gonna be really good senior year because my friend Zack and my ex's friend Andrew get to play way more next year." Jack pauses to see Kelly staring off into space. "Not that we aren't good now because we are!" Jack smiles excitedly before looking at Kelly. "What about you? Where do you go to school?"
Kelly lists off the name of a private school which Jack instantly recognizes. "My best friend went there before transferring!" 
"Oh what's his name? Maybe I knew him."
"Alex Gaskarth." Jack replies smiling at the mere mention of his lovers name. 
Kelly furrows her perfectly sculpted blonde brows as she thinks trying to remember the name. A smile graces her lips once his brown hair and attractive looks comes to her mind. "Oh my gosh was he hot as fuck!" Kelly laughs so Jack knows she's joking. "But, for real, he was adorable and super nice." 
Jack laughs lightly and nods. "He's probably one of the nicest dudes I've ever met at Dulany." 
Kelly grins and nods. "He had nice hair. It did a little swoop and everything. Now that I'm thinking about hair, you've got amazing hair too!" Kelly compliments, her brown doe-like eyes on his hair. 
Jack runs a hand through his brown hair with blond streaks and smiles lightly. "Thanks I do it myself." 
"So what's your natural hair color? Brown or blond?"
"You'll never know." Jack winks. 
Kelly pouts but can't escape the smile on her lips. The fact of the matter is that the spoiled princess from Jack's dad's boss is having a great time with the lanky boy. As much as he hates to admit it, he's also having a great time. He can see himself making friend's with her. 
"Jack, I'm having an amazing time. You're hilarious and so genuine, I feel like I could trust you with anything." Kelly tucks away a piece of brown hair. "I really like you. I'm glad we went out." 
"No!" Jack blurts immediately regretting it. Kelly's gives him a confused look and Jack has to recover the only way he knows how: A frayed version of the truth. "I'm in a relationship already but my dad doesn't like them so we're keeping it on the DL so please don't tell your dad or my dad. You and I, as much as I've had fun, aren't going to go anywhere. I'm so sorry."
Kelly is speechless for a few minutes. What does a girl say to that? She licks her lips quickly before finally saying the most clitched sentence. "She's a lucky girl."
Jack nods biting his bottom lip. He wants so badly to correct Kelly but he knows he can't. Somehow his dad will find out and then it's bye-bye family. "We can still be friend's though. We can be best friends! Starting now this is just a chill hang out at an expensive restaurant that I will still gladly pay for." Jack tells her immediately trying to make amends. 
Kelly nods trying to save face. She feels embarrassed. She'd bought a new tight pink dress especially for the date since she'd received good vibes from it. Now she was being told that her date was in a relationship. It was taking all she had to keep her fucking zen balanced at this point. 
"I need to take a trip to the bathroom. I'll be right out, promise." Kelly picks up her bag and heads towards the lady's room. 
Jack sighs and props his head up with his palm. What a web he was starting to spin. It would pick up soon enough, Jack knows that. 
He's worried though. What if the web is too big or too out of control? How can he keep a grip on reality when he's trying to save himself from his harsh reality? Jack's not calm and collected anymore. Just the opposite in fact.
Jack Barakat is lost and confused.