Keep It Secret, Keeps Us Safe

Monday, March 28, 2011

"You didn't call Saturday night." Alex says as he walks down the hall beside Jack.
They were pretending to become slow friend's again. It was all part of whatever scheme Jack has in his head. It's working for Alex though, he likes being able to talk to Jack in public. 
"Sorry, I was," Jack pauses trying to think, "busy." It's a vague answer and it pierces Alex's heart, Jack knows just by the look on the elder's face. 
"Oh, okay." Alex stops walking and leaves Jack's side without another word. 
Jack groans to himself knowing he was screwing up everything he's just fixed. All the lies he's telling aren't good if he keeps them up when he's with Alex. Alex is the one person he should be letting in, when in fact he's kicking Alex out too. He's kicking out everyone. 
"Lex!" Jack exclaims quietly taking Alex's arm. 
Alex turns around with a sad look on his face. "Obviously we need more time to be apart." He's saying that to save them both. The younger boy can't uncode the sentence though. 
Jack walks toward Alex. "What the hell does that mean?" He mutters quietly but the venom sticks in the words. 
"It means that obviously you have unresolved issues that you have yet to work out." Alex replies removing his arm from Jack's grasp. 
Jack stands there as Alex walks away again from him. This time he's able to get away and he's happy for that. He can't stand telling Jack things that imply he wants another break-up. The older boy doesn't, one was enough. He just doesn't understand where they stand at the moment. 
Sure, the two are in love like no other. But what does all that really mean when it's hidden under lies and excuses? They haven't spent real time together in a very long time. They haven't had a real conversation since Friday night. The two were dying out and it was becoming clear to Alex that you can't keep something alive when it's meant to die. 
Jack and Alex. Alex and Jack. 
Jack. 
Alex. 
They are falling apart. There's nothing they can do if this is the way it's supposed to be. Alex doesn't want this to become them though. He wants his name in the same breath as Jack's. The elder isn't too sure what's passing through Jack's mind but he doesn't care at the moment. He just cares about what he wants. 
"How are you and Jack?" Andrew grins at his best friend. 
Alex shakes his head. "I don't know anymore. There's something that Jack's hiding that happened this weekend. There's so much I don't know that's happening with him."
Andrew sighs in pity. The blond doesn't deserve this. Alex hadn't done a thing to deserve what fate's handing him. "Maybe y'all just need some one-on-one time. Put everything out in the open and talk everything out."
Alex nods. "Easier said then done, bro. Jack's dad is getting so serious about letting Jack do things especially after he was late to that fucking date according to my dad." Alex kicks a locker in remembrance of that date. 
"Dude, chill. The locker isn't the one to blame. Just try to get Jack at your house after school. Obviously y'all have a lot to talk about." 
"Yeah, I guess I'll try that."
"Good, good. Now let's talk about something really important: The gym has been good to Hadley." Alex looks up at his best friend to see the serious look on his face. "She looks proper fit, man. That ass is amazing!" 
"I'm into guys, man."
"I'm sure one look at Hadley could change that."
"Are you high?"
"Are you?"
Alex rolls his brown eyes and lets Andrew continue his topic. It's the least Alex can do considering Andrew has listened to every last thing he's said about Jack. Every now and again Alex will throw in his two cents. Something simple so Andrew knows he hasn't stopped paying attention. 
"You sitting with us at lunch?" Andrew asks suddenly. 
By "us" he meant most of the football team. Usually Alex is mortified by the thought, but since Jack hadn't called he watched baseball with his dad. He is quite up with the latest baseball news. "Sure."
Andrew looks surprised. "Wow, really?"
"Yeah, why not?" Andrew shrugs. 
"I gotta ask one question though." Andrew raises a thick brown brow. "Why does the football team have practice if football season isn't until fall?"
"The seniors were so bad this year they wanted to do some spring conditioning before the summer conditioning. We had a loosing streak so they're making sure we won't be that kind of JV team." Andrew replies. 
Alex just nods as they round the corner to Alex's first period. "See ya, man."
Andrew smiles and walks away from the dirty blond. Alex pushes away some hair from his eyes as he makes his way into the room. Alex takes a seat in US Government and pulls out his notebook. He's so early to class even the teacher isn't here yet. He's somewhat embarrassed but at the same time he's happy for the alone time. 
He sits in his chair without a saying a word until a broad football player walks into the empty room. Alex groans inwardly as the muscular boy walks over shyly. 
"Hey Alex, Jack said you were pissed off." Zack says explaining his reason for being here. 
Alex sighs and runs a hand through his newly dyed hair. Jack hadn't even commented on the new look yet. He honestly wondered what was going on in his lover's head. It was frustrating enough to have their secret, but with Jack stacking secrets on top, it just wasn't working. 
"I'm not." Alex says honestly. "I'm frustrated with him."
Zack nods and takes a seat. "He didn't tell you the complete story of his date did he?" Alex shakes his head, not saying a word. He's got nothing more to say on this topic of Jack's douche bag-ness. "He wants to work this out with you, he does. But he isn't sure how to tell you. Just stop getting frustrated with him and let him be him." 
Alex groans loudly as a few people in his class walks in. "What if that takes too long? What if that doesn't work, Zack?" Zack looks surprised at Alex's sudden outburst, but quite honestly Alex is surprised himself. "I know I can't force him, I know that. But he can't keep keeping secrets from me. His isn't working. Obviously it's something that'll affect us both. He just needs to put it out there so we can deal with it."
Zack sighs before taking a quick glance at the clock so he doesn't end up late for class. Although this would be a good reason for him, he knows his teacher won't appreciate it. "That's not Jack." Zack gets up and picks up his Burton backpack, his skateboard attached as usual, and slings it over one shoulder. "Just give him some time to think it out. If you force it out he won't be prepared and everything will come out supply and bad. Just give him time. Jack's not a results person like you." Zack leaves the room with one and a half minutes to get to his second floor classroom. 
The dirty blond watches as the teacher waltzes in the classroom. She waves to the class before turning on the TV to prepare for the announcements. Alex doesn't pay attention to whatever happens for the announcements and he doesn't stand for the Pledge of Allegiance. He takes out his smartphone and touches the messages app. 

To: Barakitty
You. Me. Park. After school.

Jack stared at the message on his phone, deciding to ignore the French 3 test sitting on his desk. It amazed him that five words could steal his attention and make him wonder. He didn't know what to type back or if he was supposed to type back. 
"Dix heures moins demi!" 
That was their warning for time left on the test. Jack didn't know what it meant but he knew he needed to hurry up. 
He shoved the old piece of technology into his backpack and stared at the foreign words. He'd zoned out on the listening section so he took a few guesses. He did some of the questions and answers, choosing to do a few in English. When he got to the essay he wrote the teacher something in Spanish and English and French. 
"Jack, I'm assuming you're prepared for the speaking part
"Bring it, Madame Lambert." Jack smirked throwing his paper into the pile. 
"Tell me about your family."
Jack blinked twice. "Je veux ma mére and mon pére. Nous vous heureux and genial. I think they're nice. Um, vous anniversarie fevriare trente. Febuary thirteenth." Jack grinned at her before deciding to wrap things up. "J'adore ma mére la cuisine."
"I'm glad you like your mom's kitchen. Good bye, Jack."
The dark haired boy sighed before heading to his seat. He wasn't doing so hot in French, not that it mattered. Next year, he and Zack and Hadley were going to take Latin and everything would be easier. There was no speaking section in a written language. 
He couldn't wait for next year. They'd be seniors and that'd be their last year until they got away from everything. No high school drama would be sitting on their shoulders. It was just him taking on the world, he was looking forward to it. 
Jack took our his flip phone ready to reply. He wanted to say no, but he typed in a three letter word that made his hands sweaty and his heart beat. 

To: Gaskank
Yes