Keep It Secret, Keeps Us Safe

Friday, April 3, 2011

Jack feels as if the walls are watching him. He can't get out of the hallway fast enough. He's shaking, his legs hurt, and his heart is beating faster then it should be. It's amazing that he can even make it to his homeroom. 
Kyle's in there with a frown sitting upon his face when Jack comes into view. The lanky brunette limps to his usual desk next to his blond friend and sends him a forced smile. 
"Where the fuck were you?"
"Sick, sorry bro." Jack lies all too easily. 
Kyle rolls his brown eyes and smiles lightly at Jack. "I thought you left because of your interaction with Gaskarth at the park."
"Alex!" Jack exclaims. 
"Dude, what the hell?"
"I need to talk to him."
"Oh, I don't think he's here today." Kyle says quietly. 
Jack rolls his chocolate eyes in anger and obvious annoyance. Of course Alex isn't here the one day Jack feels good enough to come to school. All he wants to do is hold the dirty blond and tell him everything will be okay. He wants to admit everything he has done was the wrong choice. He wants to admit that lies are pushing their way out of his pink tinted lips all too easily. 
He wants to admit to the elder that he misses him more than anything. 
The brunette looks up at the bleach blond with eyes that were responded to with blue eyes drenched it pity. He sighs and puts his hand on Jack's shoulder. "Listen, just talk to him another day."
Jack nods without making eye contact or saying a word. He's silently devastated. Kyle has no clue what's going on within the bubble of Alex and himself. There's so many flaws and so many lies. He wants it all fixed. He just wants his relationship with Alex to be okay. 

Friday, April 3, 2011

Alex props his feet up on the coffee table. His brown eyes are engaged with the movie he's put on and he holds a warm, microwaved pizza in his hands. He feels free and content for the first time in a while. 
Jack's been gone all week so Alex decided if Jack could disappear so can he. That's why he's here chilling in his house instead of working at school. All that would be on his mind is Jack and he doesn't need that. He needs to relax and pretend his life is just the way it should be. 
He turns up the movie a bit more to make the surround sound speakers that they have in every corner and crevice fully drown out his thoughts. He wants the movie to pull him under and not let go. 
Alex lazily pulls out his phone, dropping the pepperoni he'd wanted onto the cream suede couch. He sends Andrew a message bragging about his "sick" day. The dirty blond picks up the pepperoni, smudges the pizza sauce up will come to stain the couch, and pops it in his mouth. 

From: Andrew
Fuck you!

Alex smirks at the text message before typing back a question of how school was. He enjoyed having a best friend that wasn't just his lover. It was great that his best friend was also his lover but sometimes they needed to be two different people. 

From: Andrew
Zack says Jack's been going crazy here without you.

Alex sighs and types back a quick message. Of course he can't get away from the boy that holds his heart as he wants to. At every corner and every turn, Jack's waiting there with an outstretched hand and another promise. 
He hates it. 

From: Andrew
He needs to talk to you about what happened Monday night. He really needs to talk to you. Maybe you should stop your sick day...

Alex groans before typing back a two letter answer. There is no way he's ending his sick day. He needs it, he needs this getaway from Jack more then anything. 

From: Barakitty
I'm coming after school.

Jack has yet to receive a text back but he's going to assume Alex got it and he's being a douche. If only Alex knows what happened then he wouldn't be acting this way. He wouldn't one minute be hurt by Jack's ability to ignore him and next he would be in love with Jack.  
Jack writes out whatever his English teacher is saying to give to Alex. He doesn't want his lover to fall behind in his favorite subject, the only one he's guaranteed an A in. 
"Jack Barakat," she stops for a moment, "are you taking notes?"
"Yes, ma'am."
A smile places itself upon her face. For once the slacker is paying attention and catching up with what's happening in the classroom. 
"Good for you, Jack." 
The teacher concentrates back on what she's been saying. She continues to teach the class full of rambunctious juniors that all know they can pass this class, but probably won't. 

Jack puts on his sweatshirt as he walks out towards the door. He's been cold all day, but between bitching to Zack and keeping notes for Alex, he hasn't had time to put on his sweatshirt. 
The brunette fiddles a bit with the blond streak in his hair before reaching around for the keys to his car. Alex's house wasn't too far away and he needs to get there. He looks up across the parking lot only to find a boy with blond-brown hair looking up at him from under his fringe. 
"Lex?" Jack asks in a whisper coming down the stairs. 
"You were coming over and I was out, so I just," Alex gulps nervously as he looks into the genuine brown eyes he's standing in front of. "I just th-thought I'd meet you, ya know? Because you were coming over anyway." Alex looks down at his shoes. "And I was out so, wh-why not come g-get you? Ya know?"
Jack smiles lightly at the shaking boy and realizing he was more then nervous. He puts his skinny arm around his lover, who didn't object, and led him to the Mazda. Jack pulls open the door and watches Alex slide in so he can shut the door for the boy he loves so much. 
"You were out?" Jack asks as he watches Alex nervously fiddle with the radio. 
He isn't sure where Alex's nerves have come from, but he doesn't hate them. It keeps the dirty blond from yelling and being pissed at the younger. It's better with Alex not being so blunt or subtle. 
"I broke my phone and then left my house." Alex tells him settling on a rock station. 
Even if he elder hadn't told the whole story, they both knew Alex had thrown broken the phone because of Jack's text. He was getting annoyed with the confrontation after confrontation, but after getting over the annoyance, he became nervous. He was scared to have another conversation with Jack about the future of their relationship and what was happening. 
Every time they talked another obstacle was in the way. They never talked about the good things anymore, they only brought up the negatives. 
"What's up this time?" Alex asks. 
Jack runs a hand through his mostly ebony hair as he turns onto the street with Alex's house. "Just wait a few minutes, Lex."
Alex nods in understanding. Jack parks two houses down and the two walk to the house. Jack was at least three feet behind Alex as they walked towards the house. No words were spoken making the elder just a little upset. 
His lover wasn't even speaking to him. Sure, it wasn't Jack's fault they couldn't be together. It still bummed out Alex. They had to have space between them and pretend as if all these feelings weren't there. 
Throughout the days, all the two boys did was push away the love they held for one another. They pushed and pushed until there was nothing there to show. When they made eye contact it all came pouring back and suddenly they'd hate their lives and what their love had cost them. 
They enter the house and Alex slams the door behind him, making sure to lock it. Wordlessly, he grabs Jack's hand and leads him to his bedroom. He doesn't want his mother to come home and hear their screaming, if that's what's to happen. He doesn't want her to know the two are having worse problems then she thoughts. Alex shuts this door too and takes a seat on the bed. 
Jack stares at his Nike Dunks enveloping his too tight jeans. He doesn't know how to say what he wants to say. There wasn't a way to say this easily. There wasn't even a way to not make this a big deal. 
"So Jack..?" Alex stares at the lanky kid whom takes a seat on the plush off-white carpeting. 
"Remember when my father caught us talking?" Jack looks up at Alex who's nodding. "He took me home and beat me as he made me yell mean things I don't mean about you." 
Alex doesn't know what to do, what to say. His Jack was hurt by the son of a bitch who thought he owned his son's life. His hands clenched into fists as he looks at Jack. "Lift up your shirt."
Jack's thick eyebrows knit together in confusion. "Why?"
"Show me the bruises." Alex demands. 
"No, babe, no." Jack shakes his head. 
"Show me them now!" Alex exclaims. 
Jack sighs. "I don't want you to worry, Al."
"Bull-fucking-shit, now show me those bruises or I will beat your dad." Alex growls. 
Jack does as told, pulling off his American Eagle polo and skinny jeans. Underneath, black and purple paint his stomach and legs. It adds color to the usually pale skin, but it isn't the kind of color that he should have. 
"Why?"
"Teach me a lesson about being with you." Jack says simply. 
"That fucking bastard thinks he owns fucking everything!" Alex's British accent catches on to a few words, something Jack notices happens when Alex gets really mad. "Well, goddamn, he doesn't own you!"
"Alex, chill." Jack tries. 
"No! I won't fucking chill! You're dad is fucking everything we have up all for the sake of his picture perfect family!" Alex basically screams. "This may not hurt you, but trust me it's awful. He's trying to have this family that doesn't fucking exist. He's trying to pretend like you guys are fucking perfect like a fucking picture but you aren't! There are problems in every family! Tom killed himself and we're still fucking grieving, your gay and proud, Andrew cares about football more then the family, why the fuck is he so obsessed with everything?!"
"Lexi, please." Jack crosses the room to Alex and wraps his arms around his love. 
"No!" Alex screams pushing Jack away. "Why the fuck are you so calm about this?!"
"It happened once but it won't happen again."
"Bloody hell, Jack, are you that naive?! Are you that stupid?!" Jack's brown eyes widen at the words Alex is screaming at him. "Of course this will happen again! We don't live in a perfect world and you don't live with an accepting man, this is guaranteed to happen again!"
"Please calm down, Lex. I just wanna forget about it." Jack pleads the elder. 
"Jack!" Alex yells whipping himself around to find wide, depressed eyes. The same eyes he'd once seen from his brother. He softens and comes over to hug the younger male. "I'm sorry, Jacky." He whispers in Jack's ear. 
Jack sighs quietly. "It's fine. I just don't want you to get so worked up over this. I can figure something out."
"No." Jack pulls a little away from Alex to study his face. "You won't. We will."
A smile tugs at Jack's lips and he holds on to Alex tightly. They were getting back to where they'd started. They were becoming Jack and Alex, the perfect couple. The pieces of their ruined picture were being glued together. 
Jack's father couldn't stop them no matter how much hated them. Jack and Alex's love was invincible. 
They were Jack and Alex forever.