Keep It Secret, Keeps Us Safe

Monday Afternoon, March 14, 2011

Alex tugs at the hem of his obviously too short, too tight maroon Abercrombie & Fitch shirt. He enjoys wearing it since girls tend to ogle without any shame – especially Jack. Some don’t even pretend to read the lettering on the shirt they just check out his finely toned muscular arms and his thick chest that no one except for Jack knows isn’t holding abs.
“Body of a swimmer, Gaskarth!” A girl with over-dyed, dark red hair yells out to him.
A smile plays at his lips as he pulls open the door to his red Audi convertible. It’s a small smile, but still a smile and Alex is quick to take any chance of remembering how a smile felt on his lips. He hasn’t smiled since Friday night, the night that is infamous in his mind.
The worst part was that Alex had no one to bitch and moan to about how Jack must be on his menstrual cycle. All of his friends were Jack’s closest friends who didn’t want to hear the asshole who broke the brunette’s heart call the broken hearted the asshole. These friends wanted to set death to Alex, kill him before he could get Jack right back under his spell.
Alex curses himself for ditching all his friends in eighth grade when he decided he and Jack were as close to a silver screen cliché as it got. Now he never talks to these friends. He sees them all the time though. Quite a mass of them litter his classes, except one: His best friend in the world before Jack, Andrew.
Andrew Goldstein was about three inches taller than Alex, putting him at a good six feet and five inches. He had the same build as Alex, muscular looking everywhere but not all of it was muscle, but where was the real secret. His hair was a pure, dark brown that had never been dyed, only washed and cut. He had light, sparkling green eyes that never stopped sparkling, no matter what mood he was in.
He also played football. One of many football devoted boys at the school including Zack Merrick. Common sense told Alex that Andrew was probably friends with Zack and Zack had probably weaved the tale of Jack and Alex many, many, many times.
Alex sighs as he starts his engine, putting up the top – even with the perfect weather, he’s not feeling a top up kind of mood. He pulls out of the parking lot and drives to Andrew’s house. He’ll have to wait it out with Andrew’s younger sister, Rachel Goldstein, a freshman. He needs someone to talk to and he can only hope that Andrew will be forgiving.

“Did mom and dad grab dinner or are you making it?!”
Alex looks up at Andrew with wide brown eyes, surprising Andrew Goldstein completely. Andrew expected to see his sister, Rachel Goldstein. He isn’t happy in the least in this surprise and he hopes, with some desperation, that maybe Alex was done with his “phase” and he was dating Rachel. But that was a far-fetched dream, even for the Goldstein boy.
“What are you doing here?” Andrew demands.
As he recalls, Alex ditched him for the dark haired freak as soon as he realized that he had feelings for Jack and Jack had feelings back. He remembers the conversation like it was yesterday when Alex practiced on him before he went to talk to Jack. Now that was biting him in the ass and he was running back to Andrew, but Andrew wouldn’t be bought back that quickly.
“Well?”
Alex sighs. Obviously Andrew hadn’t heard about the break-up or else he would know exactly why Alex was here. But Alex can’t blame him for being mad. Alex ditched him without thinking twice. Alex wanted Jack completely so he ditched his friend to go with Jack’s friend and Jack, immersing himself in Jack’s world.
“Jack and I broke up.” Alex mutters.
“Yeah, I know. So why are you here?”
Alex is shocked by this reply. He expected a loving hand, a simple touch. That’s not at all what he was getting from Andrew. He was getting anger and pure distaste for the boy set in front of him.
“I wanted to reunite with an old friend.” Alex tells him.
“No you’re not. You’re here to bitch about how Jack won’t take you back even after you tried and how all your friends are his friends so no one will listen to you.” Andrew had always been a very insightful person. He understood the inner mind workings of other people, knowing why they said things and why they did things.
“Well then, can I bitch to you about Jack?” Alex asks with wide, hopeful eyes.
Andrew rolls his eyes. “If you don’t ditch me again, dude. I enjoyed having a bro in crime.”
“Never again, bro.”
The two boys smiled shyly at each other before walking into the living room to see Rachel Goldstein. She flips her brown hair before glancing over at her older brother and Alex Gaskarth. “I know Alex is gay, but what’s your excuse?” She raises a perfectly plucked brow meant in her brother’s direction, who simply shrugs.
“Watch out, sis, your boyfriend probably acts gay too.”
Rachel rolls her eyes. “I’m going to make dinner. You two should probably not try to get it on on the couch.”
The boys laugh and turn on the TV. Alex had forgotten how much fun it had been to come to Andrew’s house. Even though Rachel acted like a bitch, she had always joined in the boys’ antics just for the hell of it. There was always playful – sometimes even witty – banter going on through the house.
“Pizza okay with you, Andrew?”
“Thanks Rach,” Andrew calls back.
“What do you want Alex?”
“Am I not getting pizza?”
“Then I have to make another one too.” Rachel told him.
“Are they in slices?”
“Bro, one’s for me and one’s for y’all.” Andrew explained like it was obvious.
“You’re eating full pizzas now?” Alex raises a thick brown brow.
“I’m on the football team, I need to keep my weight where it is.”
“Oh God, is a thin, hot brother really too much to ask for?” Rachel pretends to prey after she’d stuck two frozen pizzas in the oven.
“You wouldn’t be able to do anything with me.” Andrew reminds his younger sister with a smirk on his face.
“Maybe not, but then my friends would actually want to come over here.” Rachel replies coolly before focusing her attention on Sports’ Center where their talking about baseball.
The siblings listen closely, tending to make similar facial expressions at similar announcements on players and teams. Alex can’t really say that he knows exactly what’s going on this year in baseball. He’d been doing a hell of a job putting all his attention on Jack, not anything else except school.
To Alex, this was brand new news. He’d completely forgotten the world had been rotating while he and Jack stayed in their perfect little bubble of love.
Honestly, Alex couldn’t blame the gay stereotype on why he hadn’t been watching baseball. He’d dove headfirst into the relationship he thought would never end and immersed himself with the lovey-dovey-ness and now he was finding out what had happened while his head was underwater.
Alex turns his head to check out the sibling, both of which are completely absorbed in the talk of baseball. He’d forgotten how alike the two were. Other than their appearance, the two loved basically all the same things and they always had. Ever since Rachel was born, Andrew looked over her with care and admiration, never losing a grip on her and how she was raised. Rachel didn’t mind.
“Fucking Cubs,” Rachel muttered glaring darkly at the TV.
“The Orioles suck just as much as the Nationals.” Andrew concludes changing the channel after he’d seen what he’d wanted to.
“I really thought that Braun would get that hit.” Rachel tells him.
“Ryan Braun always gets the hit.” Andrew says sarcastically and ignores the glare he gets from Rachel as he changes the channel to some old nineties’ cartoons.
“Shut up, Andrew.” Rachel growls crossing her arms.
Andrew grins with satisfaction, turns up the volume, and awaits the pizza timer to go off.

“It sounds like what you need to do is show Jack you wanna be with him.” Andrew tells Alex as he chews his pizza, spitting out pieces on Alex.
Alex crinkles his nose in disgust as he carefully flicks a piece of chewed up pizza off his arm. He's also disgusted in Andrew. Obviously the brunette wasn't listening to any of his story or else he would know the couple simply couldn't be together. It may be written in the stars, but it sure as Hell was crossed out in the churches. And Mr. Barakat's mind.
“Andrew, Jack and I can't be together. Mr. Barakat will kill Jack and that's the last thing I want. He's already in enough trouble.” Alex bites his bottom lip. “Or at least I think he is.”
Andrew raises a brow in question. Wasn't Alex keeping tabs on Barakat? As far as Andrew was concerned, Alex knew everything about Jack, even things he probably shouldn't know. That story certainly showed that Alex knew most everything about Jack.
“I don't exactly know what's going on with him or his family.” Alex admits bringing his brown eyes to the table.
“Well here's my opinion: Get back together with Jack.” Andrew replies.
“Andrew, haven't you been listening!” Alex yells at his friend.
Andrew simply smirks at Alex who immediately calms down when he sees the sly smirk. He knows the smirk that Andrew's wearing well. There's something that Andrew's got hidden in his white Under Armor sleeve that he was waiting for Alex to notice.
“What are you thinking?” Alex asks carefully narrowing his brown eyes at him.
“Secret.” Andrew says before stuffing the last slice of his pizza in his mouth.
“No, tell me.” Alex insists, not understanding Andrew.
“Secret.”
“Fucking tell me.” Alex snaps glaring at the green eyes teen in front of him.
“Secret, get it? Keep you and Jack's relationship a fucking secret!” Andrew exclaims. “You're such a dumbass, Alex.”
Alex ran a hand through his blond hair as he contemplated what he'd just been told. Keep their relationship a secret? How could he not hold Jack's hand, hug Jack, kiss Jack? That was what a relationship was; finally showing how you felt now that you finally had the person of your dreams, of the moment, the person you loved.
“From who?” Alex whispers gripping the edge of the table, he hates the idea but knows he wouldn’t be able to think of anything better.
“What?”
“Who do we have to keep the secret from?” Alex asks.
“From what you said, Jack's family and anyone who'll report to them, but I don't think that'll be a lot of people.” Andrew begins weaving Alex the picture he's seeing in his head. “Your parents are accepting of you two, so you'd mostly go to your house whenever you wanna be alone, most dates there actually. You two can't run the risk every time you wanna go on a date of magic. Maybe watch “Home Alone” a few times a month, maybe sing and play Jack a few songs, maybe just cuddle and watch TV, ya know? Keep it simple most of the time to keep everything under wraps. You can hold hands and whatnot at school, just don't be too obvious when you're out in public. The hard part, in my opinion, will be getting Jack to take you back. But honestly, if that's the hard part, you don't have a problem.” Andrew shrugs finishing off.
Alex stares at the table. Getting Jack back wasn't the hard part, not being able to hold, kiss, hug, touch Jack in public - in front of everyone - that was the hard part. The hardest part to the plan. Sure, from Andrew's point of view, this plan was simple - so easy a baby couldn't mess it up. But for Alex, this plan was his personal Hell, the hardest thing he'd ever have to do in his life.
Alex sucks in some air to help him bring himself back to terms with reality. He needs to escape the grim future he has yet to face, but will. “I... I d-don't know.”
“Do you want Jack or not?” Andrew snaps, frustrated with the younger boy, he was either in or out.
“I do, I want him.” Alex tells him looking up with his puppy-like orbs.
“Alright, let's get that kid back!” Andrew cheers taking his sister's slice of pizza.
Rachel looks from Andrew to Alex before rolling her eyes at Alex's blank face. She already knows what Alex is thinking: How the fuck am I going to win back Jack?
“You’ll get him back somehow Alex, I promise.”
Alex looks at Rachel and sighs. “I dumped him at the most crucial trial of our relationship because I thought I was doing what was best for him, but it was really because I didn’t want to stay and fight. I wouldn’t take me back.”