To Find the Lie, We Must Discard the Truth

It’s obvious that Veronica said yes. Well come morning her exact words were “Ryan Richards get down on your damn knee and ask me properly!” But, ya know, it was a yes in her own words. Scarlet, as promised, took Veronica out for the day so I had the house to myself.

So, I did what I always did when I was alone in the house. I called up the guys. Nate was the only one free to hang out. I don’t know how we ended up sorting through boxes for hours, but, well, we were really bored.

“I can’t believe you still have this trophy,” Nate comments, laughing at the golden trophy from our first grade t-ball team. They somehow confused my name and the trophy reads ‘Richard Ryans,’ I guess it’s close enough.

“why wouldn’t I?”

“just seems random to keep I guess.” We were separating out things that would be put in the attic and thing, that, well, wouldn’t.

“it’s a memory from our childhood. And it goes into the attic.”

“figured as much.” He sets it into that pile, “who would have thought that at the age of nineteen you and I would be sorting out random stuff. To be put in your house nonetheless.”

“You mean you never dreamed about this day Nate?” I joke.

“oh yeah dude, every night.” I move a stack of year books to the attic pile and come upon something I honestly never wanted to see again. “Ryan, you okay?”

I stare down at the picture, remembering the perfect moment as if it were yesterday. “uh, yeah, fine.”

Nate looks over my shoulder and gasps at the picture, “…when?”

“I was still with Amanda. It was at the beginning of the play.”

“oh. Do you want me to put it in the attic?”

“no. no, I need this with me.”

“you’re getting married Ryan…like, legitally married.”

“I know. But, how much more perfect can this picture get?”

“besides the fact that you were cheating on your girlfriend?”

I ignore his comment and continue with my short rant, “I mean, I love the girl, so what’s the matter with me?”

Nate slips the picture frame out of my hands and sets it aside, “Ryan, listen to me. Sky will be starting school in the fall, at Stanford. Sure there are thousands of students there, but in the end, I’m sure you’ll find her and get some closure. In the mean time you have a fiancée that you love.” Though I know what he said, the only piece of information I got out of his speech was Stanford. Nate must have seen that ‘I thought of something,’ look on my face since he frowned. “oh no, what did I say?”

“Stanford. If I can just get a hold of the application…” if I could get the papers, I could get her information.

“no. Ryan, I will not allow you to do this.”

“you said-”

“I said you’ll run into her on campus. This isn’t running into her. This is stalking her. I don’t want to see you, Veronica, or Sky get hurt in this little problem of yours. You’re getting married to Ronni. Not by choice, but you’ve grown to love her. What’s missing?”

I stare at him for a moment. “Closure,” I mumble.

Before he could say anything more we heard the front door slamming. I look down even more, I knew my sister and Veronica wouldn’t get along.

“Ryan!” Nate and I both look at the doorway, surprised to see Katie standing there.

Nate quickly shoves the picture aside, covering it. I on the other hand, just sit to see what she wants. Obviously it’s not something good.

“Nathaniel, can you give Ryan and I a second please?”

Nate looked scared for me as he left the room. Katie never used his whole name, never.

“uh, how was your day Katie?” I ask nervously. She walks into the room more and closes the door.

“oh, good. Went shopping. Saw your sister and Veronica at the mall. Got asked to be maid of honor. You know, usual stuff.” I gulp. This was about the wedding like I suspected. “How could you not tell me Ryan?!”

“uh, it was sort of sudden. Like really sudden. As in, last night. I was going to tell you, I swear.”

“yeah. I mean about loving her you dimwit. Of course you had to propose to her at some point!”

“oh.”

“how can you fall for her Ryan? She’s another Amanda! Another girl that you don’t like.”

I frown at her choice of words. “why do people keep insisting on who I do and don’t like. How would you know? I honestly liked Amanda…given that was before I knew all her backstabbing secrets, but still, I loved her. The same is with Veronica. Unless you have some reason why I shouldn’t love her, like she’s a cheating whore, then just give it up. I’m moving on and that’s exactly what Sky wanted me to do.” Though when I was saying it the words made sense, I honestly didn’t know what I was saying. Because deep down, I know I’m not even close to moving on.

Katie looked like she was biting her tongue, literally. “ugh Ryan! How can you not see it? How? You love her so much yet you don’t see this little bit about her…just, ugh!”

I smile at her little outburst. “who exactly are you talking about Katie?”

Katie slaps me upside the head, “SKY! WHO THE F*CKING HELL WOULD I BE TALKING ABOUT!?!?!” my eyes widen and my mouth falls open. Did innocent Katie just swear like that?

Nate bursts into the room, “everything okay up here? I heard-well, Katie was-” He too was at a loss for words. This seriously wasn’t something that happened often.

“okay, Katie, calm down. What is this really about?” I ask, trying to get to the bottom of her anger. This couldn’t all be directed to me falling in love with Veronica.

She looks between me and Nate and then focuses on me. “Matt said it.”

Nate and I look at her confused, “what?”

“Matt…he told me he loves me.”

“wait. you’re telling me that you’re beyond flipping out on me for telling my fiancée that I love her because your boyfriend of almost two years now, told you he loves you?”

“I-I didn’t say anything back and we haven’t talked since.”

Nate was now sitting on my bed, as interested in the turn of events as I was. “don’t tell me you hightailed it out of there?”

“uh-well sort of.”

We both just shake our heads at her response. What are we supposed to tell this girl? Especially when Matt had yet to mention any of this to us.

My phone starts to ring and I pull it out. Coincidentally it was Matt calling, “sorry, I have to take this, it’s my sister. I’ll be right back.”

I step out of the room and answer the call, “you’ve got a lot of explaining to do Matthew.” I say with a serious tone. Because honestly, no guy likes to be yelled at. Even more so when it’s not their fault.

“oh god. She’s there? I’m so sorry.”

“so it’s true? You told her you love her and she ran off?”

“yeah. It’s true.” He whispers, “I don’t know what to do Ryan! It’s been two days and she won’t respond to any of my calls.”

“I don’t know what to say. But would you like to come over, maybe play some video games?”

“uh, sure. I guess I can do that.” We talk for a few more minutes before I hang up and go back to the room. no more than a minute later Matt was standing in my doorway too, with a wide smile on his face.

“what?”

Then I notice Katie smiling too and knew that they were up to something. “you guys planned this, didn’t you?”

“well, I really wanted to slap you and Matt just finds enjoyment in a lot things.”

“that’s all?”

Matt laughs, “of course not. we’re also against this wedding. I mean, if Katie’s right about that letter, than you’re obviously stupid. Why follow what she wants when it’s not what you want?”

I turn to Katie, “you told him?”

“It’s just a letter Ryan. And you might want to read it again. I think you missed a big chunk.” Without another word, Katie pulls Matt out of the room and I stare at the closed door.

I knew Nate was still there, watching me. Probably making sure I wouldn’t do anything stupid. “what letter?” he asks.

I sigh and walk over to the dresser, pulling out the pages of paper that hadn’t been touched in months. I sat on the bed as Nate read over the notes. When he finished he looked up at me, “uh, I honestly don’t know what to say,” he pauses, “have you actually read these?”

“of course I have!”

“right…um, I’m going to go.” He sets the letters down next to me and heads out faster than I could say bye.

I stare at the pieces of paper before picking them up. I read over them again and this time, something did actually catch my eye.

If there's anywhere you'll see me again, it'll probably be there. But you won't recognize me, I won't be the same person you know. Remember things about me like my scars, and my birth mark. My nervous habits and the way I sit when I watch a movie. It's things like those that will be staying the same.

The only thing I could think is that she’s close. I wouldn’t be able to notice those if she wasn’t. So now, all I had to do was figure out how close she really is.