To Find the Lie, We Must Discard the Truth

It was a tradition ever since the kids were born, that I would be there to see them off to pre-school, or now actual school. So That’s what Veronica and I did this beautiful September morning. We headed over to my parents off to say ‘good luck’ to my niece and nephew. I could tell it wasn’t something that Veronica really enjoyed. Hell, I doubt she even wants kids. I can’t see her being a mother, that’s for sure.

While my fiancée was off talking with my mom, I hung out with the kids. “Hey Ryan?”

“yeah Syd?” I ask, pulling her onto my lap.

“do you want to marry Veronica?”

“of course I do, I wouldn’t marry her otherwise.” Which was a lie, but I wasn’t about to explain arranged marriage to her.

“it’s just…she doesn’t play games with us. I’d like it if she played games with us.” Charlie nods in agreement and climbs onto my lap too. This was a position I was much too used to.

“well, I’ll talk to her. She just doesn’t really like kids…”

“doesn’t like kids?” Charlie asks, sounding outraged, “but we’re cute!”

I chuckle and ruffle his hair, “that you are kid.” I turn my attention back to Sydney who still looked sad, “why did you ask that Syd?”

She shrugs, “I just wish you would marry someone who played with us. Like Sky…she loved to play games with us. Amanda not so much.”

“I promise that Veronica will work very hard to play with you two. But you guys can’t cause trouble with her. Got it? She gets stressed very easily.”

They both nod in agreement and I promise to talk to her after they head off to school.

“okay you two, we need to head out.” Jane says, breaking up our conversation. I carry the kids out to the car before entering the house again.

My mom was in the midst of having a conversation about college with Veronica. “when do you move into the dorms?”

I take a seat at the table and listen in on the conversation, though it wasn’t one I was too fond of. It’s not that I don’t want Veronica to have her freedom or something. I do. But I don’t get why she has to live on campus until the wedding. We’ve been living together for almost a year and now she decides to move out. Well, now she’s allowed to move out. But I’m still stuck in the house…all by myself.

“hey mom, we better head out. We still have to get stuff worked out with housing and my class schedule is screwed up.”

“yeah, yeah. Go do adult stuff.”

Veronica and I laugh as we leave the house. I was glad she was getting along with my mom. That makes at least one person who’s making an effort here. Well, Scarlett was too I guess.

“you still don’t want me to live on campus, do you?”

“not at all. But if it’s what you want I won’t argue with you.”

She smiles and pats my knee, “I’ll still be around. And it’s not like we’re going to different schools.”

“yeah, yeah. We’re just studying two totally different subjects. And will most likely never see each other during the day…or night for that matter.”

“It’s for three months Ryan, not the rest of our lives,” she laughs at my pain and then suddenly stops.

“everything alright babe?”

Her facial expression was frozen in some type of shock, “three months.”

“yeah…”

“Ryan, we’re getting married in three months. Twelve weeks. Ninety days.”

And of course, that’s when reality hits me too. It seems just like yesterday that we really patched things up and now we’re getting married.

“wow, that seems like it’s so soon.”

“that’s because it is.”

“which brings me to another topic…Sydney and Charlie feel like you don’t play with them.”

“I’m seriously not good with kids Ryan.”

“I know. But can’t you at least play a board game with them? Sydney wants me to marry someone who will play with them.”

Veronica smiles, “and what? The wedding is off if I don’t?” I glance her way and then back at the road, staying silent. “really Ryan? You’d try to get the wedding to be called off?”

“if you really aren’t willing to even play a board game with my niece and nephew, I can’t imagine what you would be like with your own kids. Family’s seriously important to me.”

“yeah, I know! You say that all the freaking time! And it’s not like we’d be starting a family anytime soon.”

“but at some point it will happen. And if you don’t like kids now, you’re definitely not going to like them then.”

“that’s not true!”

I laugh, “trust me, Veronica. If you can’t handle playing a simple game with them, you’re not going to want to change diapers, deal with picky eaters, help when they fall down…There’s a lot of things that go along with being a parent.”

“fine, I’ll play a freaking game with them!”

“I promise they’ll be on their best behavior. But that means you have to be on your best behavior too.”

“yeah, yeah.”

I smile and pull into the parking lot of Stanford.

When we arrive back to the house that night, Sydney and Charlie were waiting. “what game do you guys want to play?” Veronica asks, putting on a fake smile.

“Candy-land!” Sydney screams. I roll my eyes since that’s the only game she ever wants to play.

Veronica turns to me with a raised eyebrow and I just give her a reassuring smile. I know she can do this. Especially with the kids being nice to her. Although, her comment about not wanting kids hit hard. I’ve always wanted to have a least one child, and being forced to marry someone who doesn’t want any…I don’t know how I’ll survive.

I step into the kitchen while they play the game, leaving her with the two children. “So, three months until the wedding.” Scarlet says, sneaking up on me as I grab a drink from the fridge.

“hey, you can finally do math.”

“oh shut-up. Are you seriously going to go through with this?”

I sigh and take a seat, “I don’t have a choice. And I actually love her Scarlet.”

“I know. It’s just hard to watch I guess. At least she’s finally getting along with the rascals.”

“yeah, she’s faking it. She actually doesn’t want any kids…”

“uh, right. You really need to think about this Ryan.”

“think about what?”

“how much are you willing to sacrifice for one girl?” with that she stands up and walks out of the room.

I ignore her question and walk back into the living room to see how the game was going. All three of them were laughing about something when I took a seat next to Veronica.

“looks like you all are having fun.” Charlie and Sydney frantically nod their heads while Veronica turns to me with a genuine smile plastered on her face.

“I want two. Only if they’re boys.” She whispers.

I chuckle, “honey, you don’t exactly get to choose.”

“I’m sure they’ll have some system in ten years.”

I sit there for the rest of their game, waiting for it to finish. Sydney, obviously, is the first to make it to the castle. She has played this game so many times that I wouldn’t be surprised if she has secret tricks up her sleeve.

“Sydney! Charlie!” Jane calls, walking into the room, “It’s time to go you two.”

“but mom…” Charlie whines.

“don’t ‘but mom’ me. I used that way too much your age for it to work now.”

They give Veronica and I a hug goodbye before leaving. “do you want to head out too?” I ask her, pulling her onto my lap.

“hmm, not really. Your mom’s too good of a cook to toss up a chance to eat here.”

“and I’m not?”

Veronica smiles and gives me a short kiss, “or course you are sweetie. Just not like your mother. Now come on, we should go see if she needs help.”

I stand up with her and grab her hand, “what have you done with the girl I was gonna marry?”

“what? Turns out kids make me happy. That going to be a problem?”

“huh? Not at all. Just a drastic change.”

“well, they really are cute little kids…”

I smile down at her and pull her closer, “yeah, yeah. You want two boys. Ironically, I want a daughter.”

“yeah, you can raise her on your own.”

“glad to know you’ll be there every step of the way Veronica.” I reply sarcastically. “and I’m sure you’ll love whatever comes out of that uterus of yours.”

This made Veronica burst out laughing. One of those laughs that makes you want to cry. Which means something totally isn’t right with what I just said. “oh honey, not everything that comes out of my uterus. Just the babies.”

“oh.” I still didn’t get it and she just smiled innocently up at me. When we got to the kitchen, the words that left my mouth finally hit me. “OH! Goodness Veronica, you couldn’t have warned me!?”

“obviously not. now come on, let’s help finish this salad. I know that’s something both of us can do.” I crack a smile and help out with dinner. And that’s how I spent the rest of dinner with my parents, sister, and soon-to-be-wife; smiling, and pretending that everything was going to be alright. But I couldn’t forget the fact that Scarlet was right. How much am I willing to give up for this relationship to work?