The Dating Scenarios

"This...is a really tight top, Lary," Joon said, stating the obvious as he admired himself in the full-length mirror of their shared apartment. On his light blue shirt was a large yellow "J" surrounded by small red lightning bolts. It stuck to his curves and muscles like glue to the bottle. Joon wore pants close to the same color, and had a mask resting on his forehead the same color as the cape that draped the bed, and the boots that sat neatly at the foot of the large hunk of furniture. That color was red.

"Nah, I don't think it is," Larythzza replied from the bathroom, fixing her green mask. Her outfit was the same as her boyfriend's, except her shirt was green, and a black "L" was in the middle, purple lightning bolts surrounding it. She wore purple skinny jeans, her black cape hanging over the chair in front of the vanity. Black high-top sneakers were on her feet. "Mine's a bit tight fitting too and you don't care either way about it, do you?" she countered, placing the black mask over her brown eyes.

He didn't answer and scratched his head, sighing in defeat as he turned around and walked over to the bed to put his shoes and cape on.

"Didn't think so."

She grabbed her cape off of the chair and got to work trying to undo the knot it brought upon itself from being entangled in her trunk of costumes. Joon came up and tried to help, and after a minute or two the knot was undone, and Joon wrapped the cape around Larythzza's shoulders, tying the string in a bow as she looked up, revealing more of her neck so he could see.

"D'ya got it?"

He nodded, the cape securely on her shoulders.

She grinned, and declared, "Let's go rid the city of its evildoers." Larythzza struck a pose, Joon joining her before they both walked out of the apartment.

They were outside walking about before nerves started clawing at Larythzza’s stomach. She told Joon this and he replied in a definite tone, “Oh no. You found the list, and wanted to do them. We aren’t backing down now. We’re already outside in these outfits anyway.” She nodded, as they continued walking the streets of the city, trying to spot the careless and reckless.

The criminals they were trying to find weren’t ones that would be wearing ski masks or carrying weapons. They were everyday people who just got careless in the excitement of their lives. They’d try throwing away a wrapper from a hamburger and miss, but not bother picking it up and putting it in the trash. They were ones that would cross the street without the signal, trying to hurry to the other side.

“Hey!” Larythzza whispered. “There’s our guy!” A man a half a block up had missed the trash can by a meter, not even looking as he threw it in the direction of the receptacle.

“Let’s get him,” Joon replied before they raced toward the man, their capes flying colorfully behind them.

“Halt in the name of the Law!” Larythzza shouted, finger pointed at the man so he’d know it was him to whom she was addressing.

The man turned around and had a look of, ‘What the hell?’ written on his face. Standing before him were two young adults dressed in superhero costumes. He was allowed to be confused. “What’s going on?”

“Sir, you need to pick up that wrapper,” Joon explained, pointing toward the piece of paper on the sidewalk.

“Why should I? Its just paper.”

“It’s littering, sir,” Larythzza reminded him, her hands on her hips as the wind swayed her cape behind her back. “And you put it there, so you should pick it up.”

“Who are you, the litter police?” he asked, annoyed at the two.

“No sir, we are the Petty Crime Division Heroes, or the PCD Heroes, whichever you prefer,” Joon said, rattling the name off of the top of his head.

Larythzza had to bite back a smile because it reminded her of The Pussycat Dolls. Only Joon would do that.

The man sighed and rolled his eyes, walking towards the wrapper and chucking it in the bin. “There, are you happy?”

“Yes sir. Thank you for your patronage,” Larythzza replied. She and Joon soon walked off, leaving the man confused, and slightly amused at what had just happened. She turned to Joon and asked, “PCD Heroes? Really?” She told him what it reminded her of.

He laughed as they walked casually, stopping at a crosswalk and pushing the button, waiting for the little white man in the black box to tell them it was ready to cross. A red hand was currently telling them not to, so they didn’t. “Well, that’s all I could think of at a short notice.”

“I like it. It fits what we’re doing, so why not?” She smiled up at him, and then they crossed the street, the white man appearing in the lighted box on the walkway.

They continued chatting, a few people glancing at their odd attire as they past by, but they decided to pay no mind. They overheard a loud slurred voice talking nonsense up ahead, a few people giving the guy a dirty look.

“Next target, Lary?” Joon asked, looking Larythzza in the eyes.

She nodded and stared back, giving him a small smile before they walked up to the drunken soul. He looked to be in his late twenties, and had glazed almond eyes and black hair splayed out in all directions. His clothes were ruffled as if he had been ruffed up a bit.

“She cut me off,” he slurred quite loudly, pointing at a waitress in the window. “I jus’ asked for ‘nother one. Just ‘nother. But no.”

“Sir, you need to calm down,” Larythzza suggested gently.

The drunken man turned to them with a start and his brow furrowed. “Whoa! Trippy, man. All of those colors are so cool. It’s Batman and Robin!” His tone had turned childish, but louder still.

Larythzza had to keep from snorting out loud. The colors of Joon’s costume were similar to Superman’s more than Batman, and hers were not similar in any way to Robin’s. They were more similar to the Hulk, what with the purple and green.

He was definitely drunk if he couldn’t get his superhero costume colors straight.

However, she played along. “Yeah, I’m Robin and he’s Batman, and we ask you to please lower your voice, as it’s too loud and we can’t hear if there’s a cry for help or not with you shouting.”

His eyes widened and he replied, “’m sorry Robin,” he nodded towards Joon. “Batman, but I didn’t know I was loud. I don’t think ‘m loud right now.” His voice was a little quieter, but still on the loud side of the scale. He saw a street pole behind Joon and exclaimed suddenly, his eyes widened, “Oh my God it’s Elastigirl!” He walked up to the pole and exclaimed, “You stretch so thin, girl.” He gave the pole a hooded look.

Larythzza buried her head into Joon’s shoulder, laughing quietly. “We need to call the cops,” He muttered, trying not to laugh as well. “Or rather, have someone else call the police.” She composed herself and managed to go up to someone and ask if they could call the police on the drunken man and they obliged. She turned around to go back to Joon and saw him turned around, his hand over his mask as the drunken guy was giving the pole dirty talk behind him. Larythzza went up to Joon and said, “Go tell him Elastigirl’s taken. Maybe he’ll stop.”

“I don’t know that he will, but I’ll try,” Joon replied, going up to the man. “Sir, she’s taken.” The drunken man didn’t move and still did unsightly things to the pole. Joon ran a hand through his hair and repeated it again, except louder.

“I don’t care, an’ she doesn’t either. She’s not movin’ away, is she now?” The man clearly wasn’t leaving the inanimate object, and Joon turned back around and walked back to Larythzza. “I tried. He doesn’t want to budge, and I don’t really want to start a fight with him over a pole.”

“Oh, where’s your hero spirit? Did it fly away?” Larythzza teased him. “The pole needs defending too!” She smirked at him and he just gave her a no-way-in-hell-am-I-doing-that look.

“Sir, you need to step away from the pole.” A police officer had arrived, and was handling the situation, getting the man away from the pole. It was with much effort, as the man was shouting, “No! Elastigirl likes me and I can’t leave her!” That caused the crowd to laugh, and the Policeman want to handcuff him immediately. He finally did, and hauled him away.

The crowd clapped, as did Joon and Larythzza. Joon turned to Larythzza and said, “I think it’s been a good day’s work in the life of the PCD Heroes, don’t you think?”

“Hm, yeah. I think so. Do you want to go get something to eat now? I’m kind of hungry after the ‘crime fighting’ we’ve done.” She did air quotes, as she knew they weren’t real heroes just yet.

Joon nodded, and then asked a question that had been plaguing his brain ever since the drunken man had dubbed him Batman. “Can we take our masks and capes off now?”