I'm Losing the Best of Me

"Aria, I know that it's hard, but could you just do this for me?"

I shook my head.

"No, I can't."

"Please?" He pouted.

"Jackie, no." I crossed my arms. "I'm not going to go on tour with you guys and that's that."

"It's because of Alex, isn't it?"

"Jack!" I smacked him. "Yes, but it is also about my job and my house too. What in the world am I supposed to do about them?" I asked.

"You can take off from work, and get that Max guy to stay here while you're gone." He shrugged.

"I just went back to work not even a month and a half ago."

"Ugh." He groaned and burried his head deep into my shoulder.

I rolled my eyes.

"You're acting like a baby."

"No I'm not!" He whined.

"I still love you, Jackie." I laughed.

"Sure you do..." He mumbled.

"You're being ridiculous."

"What's so ridiculous about me wanting my girlfriend to come on tour with me and my band?!"

"The fact that the other person in the situation will be there too..."

It killed me to say goodbye to Alex. It honestly did. I actually find myself wishing that I would have choosen him instead of Jack, because Jack can be too much a LOT of the time. But I love Jack. I always have. I guess that's why I had to choose him over Alex.

"Don't worry about Alex. He's a big boy, Aria." Jack stated as he sat up off of my shoulder. "Besides, it's been a month. Surely he's gotten over it."

I rolled my eyes.

"Then why isn't my best friend talking to me?"

"Because stupid enough to turn a casual fling into falling in love."

I glared at Jack.

"Shut your mouth."

"Dude, just calm down!"

"Jack, seriously...I fell too. It wasn't just him."

"Could you stop reminding me?"

"Not if you keep bringing it up, I can't."

"Okay, okay..." Jack sighed heavily. "Let's just agree to not talk about it again."

I groaned.

"Jack, it is not possible to avoid the subject. It happened, and we obviously can't avoid that."

"I guess not."

"You guess?!" I yelled. "You really need to think before you speak."

Jack rolled his eyes and tightened his lanky arms tightly around my body.

"Aria, I love you. You know that I do."

"I know." I sighed heavily. "I love you too, Jack...but I miss my best friend."

"Do you miss your best friend of your lover?"

I didn't answer. I couldn't answer, but the answer was simple,

Yes. I missed my best friend AND my lover.

"You know what, Aria? Fuck yourself." He stated, standing up and grabbed his coat.

"Where are you going?!" I snapped.

"Out." He replied before he went out of my LA home, and into the stary night.

"UGH! PRICK!" I yelled at no one. I picked up my iPhone, and I dialed Noah's familiar number.

"Heyyyy!" She yelled. "What's up girly?"

"Oooh nothing much; still completely in love with my best guy friend. What about you?"

"Still?" She sighed heavily. "Why did you have to get into an argument with Jack that night in the first place?"

I bit my lip nervously.

"There's more Noah..."

"Damn, what did you do?"

"I can't exactly tell you over the phone. Could you get here by tomorrow afternoon?"

"Um...Sure."

"Thank God. It's important."

"How important?"

"So important that I need to run away."

"Aria, not again."

I sighed heavily.

"I do need to run away. Trust me," I replied. "Get here soon?"

"Okay. Bye, A."

"Bye." I replied before I hung up. I stood up from my couch, and I went to my room for the first time in a month. I looked around at the empty place. I sighed heavily, and I shut the door again. I haven't spent the night in my room since after I chose Jack over Alex. I refused to. I stayed in Noah's old room that was free of passionate or loving memories from the lead front man. I only have one memory of Jack in that room that was pleasent...all of the rest were of Alex.

Once I was laying back down in Noah's bed, I stared up at the ceiling.

"I'm so fucked."