Let The Embers Glow

Click. Click.

I watched, mesmerized, as the tiny flame danced before my eyes. I reveled in the simmering heat that burned my skin.

And as I continued to watch the orange flame, I slowly lowered it to line up with my thigh.

I took in a deep breath and inched the flame closer and closer to the awaiting flesh.

I struggled to conceal the hiss that escaped by lips when the flame made contact with my fragile skin.

The hiss was soon replaced by a pleased sigh, as I felt as though a small weight was lifted from my shoulders.

My eyes shot to inspect the wounded skin, and I couldn't help the small smile that grew on my lips at the sight of the red, irritated skin. Parts of it peeling and flaking
off. I slowly rubbed my fingers across it and sighed as the cool flesh of my finger soothed the burning skin.

I frowned and quickly removed the finger. I didn't want relief. I wanted to feel the pain. To suffer. Because that is what I deserved. For what I did to him.

I barely felt it when my back collided with the soft, cushioned feel of my bed.

My eyes met the large poster that hung across the ceiling and my already existing frown grew as I noticed what faces were spread across the slick paper.

I could barely contain my sadness at the reminder of him. His favorite band. The first gig I had ever been to. And the first kiss which we shared at said gig.

Tears grew in the corner of my eyes as the memories resurfaced.

The sadness quickly turned to anger. I lept from my lying position on my bed and grasped the edges of the poster with my hands. I wasted no time in viciously ripping the
poster from the ceiling and tearing it into pieces. I didn't even notice the multiple paper cuts it had left on the soft skin of my hands.

I watched as the pieces slowly floated to the ground. I gave them another look before deciding that it wasn't enough.

I scooped up as many of the pieces I could could get my hands on and scooted to the headboard of my bed.

I lifted an especially large piece and held it in front of my eyes, as my other hand lifted the lighter I adored so much.

I set the paper alight and watched delighted as it burned and crinkled, but let out a sharp gasp as the flames singed my finger tips.

But, yet again, I couldn't stop the smile that filtered across my face as I took in the red flesh.

Burnt and wounded like my heart.