Early Mourning

Dane hasn't really been acting like himself ever since we went to the mall. Maybe that''s how he just is but then again maybe it isn't.

I know that something is going on in Dane's head. I know that he's going through something because his actions just aren't normal.

Recalling from the first time we became friends; it's not normal for people to walk around looking so pale and sleep deprived. It isn't normal for one to not care about themselves or to randomly come running and crying and then apologizing about something else that isn't about crying. Something is wrong, and I want to know what it is exactly.

I know. . .

I know I've explained to you just how much I want to know what's going on but not just for me to try to help him but so that he can realize too. Did someone hurt him? Is he being abused? We've never really talked about his home or his child hood or anything about him at all. And I've never really told him about myself. We barely know anything substantial about each other yet here we are meeting up like we do.

It irks me that our relationship lacks, we can lie and say we're friends but really all we are is acquaintances. That's far from where I want us to be though because I might know I am be crushing on him.

And why would I if barely know him right? It's not just his pretty little face either, it's something else but I can't be sure unless I actually get to know him right?



"You've been distant lately, what's going on?" I asked Dane. He was sitting beside me on my couch, James and Enrique were on the opposite side, trying to subtly make-out but of course it was a fail. Kate was on the floor, chatting away on the phone. Although the television was on, Dane hadn't been watching it. He had this far away look in his eye and I -of course me being Larson, for some reason I'm concerned about him- have been watching his body language to try to determine or get an idea of what's wrong.

He just tilted his head, swiping the far away expression off his face and looking at me, playing the dumb card.

"What are you talking about?" He asked, trying to sound innocent. I just scoffed at him and nudged his shoulder.

"Dane, what's up with you? What's going on up here?" I asked, gently knocking on his head. Dane shooed my hand away, a small smile gracing his lips for a couple of seconds until he remembered the topic of conversation.

"You just... ever since I've known you... you're brain is always some where else and you seem troubled" I said softly.

The sound of a moan came from what sounded like James and all of our heads shot in his direction. Enrique stood up quickly, pulling James up by his hand and dragged him to the door of my apartment.

"Sorry!" Enrique yelled to me as they both just left. Kaite got up from her spot on the floor and fixed her clothes.

"I'm going to leave too and not because I'm going to film them or anything." She said, rolling her eyes. "But I need to go help my friend who's cousin is having a hair crisis on her wedding day, so I'll catch you guys later." She added and headed out the door as well.

Dane stood up and headed into the kitchen, opening up the refrigerator and rummaging through it.

"It isn't good to keep thinks bottled up inside okay? And I care, I want to know what's going on with you, I'm your friend" I said to him, the word friend sounding funny on my tongue. Dane closed the refrigerator and stared at me.

I don't know why he was staring but I could see the gears in his head turning.

"What's going on with you?" I asked again standing there for a couple of minutes before he responded.

"I've just been thinking, that's all" He said quietly, looking at the floor.

"About what?" I asked, pushing it a bit.

"When we went to the mall."

"What about it?"

"I ran into someone I use to know."

"So?"

"They're from my past."

"So what's the big deal?" I asked, but I wasn't surprised when Dane didn't answer. I was expecting it. I'm surprised he said as much as he said. I expected him to be vague but that's fine. Dane looked at me .

"Your eyes are beautiful" He whispered, after a really long time. I felt my face heat up, remembering when he had complimented them before.

"You've said that before" I told him.

"I know, but they really are mesmerizing" Dane walked until he was directly in front of me, staring into my eyes and I stared into his. We just stared at each other for a while until he sighed and rubbed his temple.

"I have to go" He whispered, heading to the door.

And then he was gone.