Status: Completed. Thank you~
Early Mourning
Twenty-Nine
A party? A birthday party? When was the last time I've even been to one of those?
"Hey Hun! I was hoping you could come over to Romeo's 10th Birthday?" I heard Julian squeal over the phone.
Why does everything. . .remind me . . . of him?
Why can't I fucking move on already?
"Oh! Before you go, Jame's birthday is coming up soon, and I was wondering if you wanted to go?" Larson said, grabbing my hand when I stood up. I just nodded my head and gave him a simple okay.
Why was I even invited? I barely knew the guy. . . But I should be happy, I'm not just being a hermit and staying at home. I'm actually doing something. Going to this party can be a good thing for me. Maybe it's a chance to open up a bit more and be more sociable. I can maybe enjoy myself.
I sigh and close my eyes, trying to invision it. I'll probably just end up sitting with Larson though. Maybe have a beer or two, who knows. . .
What do I wear though? Do I have to dress fancy or maybe I should stay casual.
"Fuck," I groan, rubbing my temple. All this thinking is make my head hurt. A whine slips out of my lips as I take a seat at the edge of my bed. My Mickey mouse fan buzzes above my head, barely doing anything against today's heat. Summer is growing closer, and the as the days continuously get hotter, I wonder if I should cut my hair.
When was the last time I got my hair cut?
"Fuck my life" I huff, wiping away overgrown bangs from my face. I don't like this, all these thoughts. I don't like this feeling that is coming over me, I'm asking myself questions. I'm caring about my actions. What the hell? Since when did I give two fucks?
It's making me nervous. These types of thoughts have been nonexistent ever since Julian left me and now they're coming back. Why? It makes me so nervous and paranoid because, the monster inside me has been quiet lately. It has me on edge. I'm worried that something bad is going to happen. Maybe I'll blow up on someone again; I hope it's not at the party.
Another whine escapes my lips and I just curl up into a ball.
The abrupt sound of my cell phone going off makes me jump and quickly fish it out of my pocket. Larson's name flashes on the screen as I press the green answer button, bringing the phone to my ear.
"Hello?" I ask, a bit surprised he called. We usually only text.
"Oh my gosh! Dane?It's like your best, best, best friend! I'm so sorry I didn't get to see you at work today but I was wondering if you could like totally come over to Jame's work so we can hang? Larson was being a butt and was too shy to invite you!" Enrique squealed into the phone. I grimace, and jerk the phone far away enough so that his loud voice doesn't hurt my hears.
"Yeah, sure. Where does he work?" I reply, surprising myself.
What the fuck?
"Hey Hun! I was hoping you could come over to Romeo's 10th Birthday?" I heard Julian squeal over the phone.
Why does everything. . .remind me . . . of him?
Why can't I fucking move on already?
"Oh! Before you go, Jame's birthday is coming up soon, and I was wondering if you wanted to go?" Larson said, grabbing my hand when I stood up. I just nodded my head and gave him a simple okay.
Why was I even invited? I barely knew the guy. . . But I should be happy, I'm not just being a hermit and staying at home. I'm actually doing something. Going to this party can be a good thing for me. Maybe it's a chance to open up a bit more and be more sociable. I can maybe enjoy myself.
I sigh and close my eyes, trying to invision it. I'll probably just end up sitting with Larson though. Maybe have a beer or two, who knows. . .
What do I wear though? Do I have to dress fancy or maybe I should stay casual.
"Fuck," I groan, rubbing my temple. All this thinking is make my head hurt. A whine slips out of my lips as I take a seat at the edge of my bed. My Mickey mouse fan buzzes above my head, barely doing anything against today's heat. Summer is growing closer, and the as the days continuously get hotter, I wonder if I should cut my hair.
When was the last time I got my hair cut?
"Fuck my life" I huff, wiping away overgrown bangs from my face. I don't like this, all these thoughts. I don't like this feeling that is coming over me, I'm asking myself questions. I'm caring about my actions. What the hell? Since when did I give two fucks?
It's making me nervous. These types of thoughts have been nonexistent ever since Julian left me and now they're coming back. Why? It makes me so nervous and paranoid because, the monster inside me has been quiet lately. It has me on edge. I'm worried that something bad is going to happen. Maybe I'll blow up on someone again; I hope it's not at the party.
Another whine escapes my lips and I just curl up into a ball.
The abrupt sound of my cell phone going off makes me jump and quickly fish it out of my pocket. Larson's name flashes on the screen as I press the green answer button, bringing the phone to my ear.
"Hello?" I ask, a bit surprised he called. We usually only text.
"Oh my gosh! Dane?It's like your best, best, best friend! I'm so sorry I didn't get to see you at work today but I was wondering if you could like totally come over to Jame's work so we can hang? Larson was being a butt and was too shy to invite you!" Enrique squealed into the phone. I grimace, and jerk the phone far away enough so that his loud voice doesn't hurt my hears.
"Yeah, sure. Where does he work?" I reply, surprising myself.
What the fuck?
♠ ♠ ♠
Edited January 25, 2014