Sold My Soul

“You know we’ll have to leave right?” Brian spoke, breaking the silence in the car on our drive back to Jimmy’s place.

“Leave? Leave where?”

“Here. We should just disappear for a couple months or something, until my "contract" is up. It’s not like they’re the mafia or anything, if we just up and leave they won’t be able to find us.”

As much as I hated the idea of leaving Huntington, I had to admit he was being somewhat logical. Emphasis on somewhat. “But do you honestly think they’ll just forget about you once that’s over?”

“One way to find out, right? And everyone else will be fine, if worst comes to worst, I’ll spin a few more deals with Mephist-”

“Don’t talk about him.” I interrupted, shivering at the mention of that...thing. I didn’t want to think about him. “And you don’t need to make any more “deals”.”

Brian gave me a look and continued. “Better that than someone ending up with a bullet through their skull. Anyway, I doubt it’ll come to that. These people aren’t stupid, and after what I did at that house...they might back off.”

Yet again, I wondered exactly what it was he had done. Knowing better than to ask I changed the topic. “So where’ll we go?”

“An extended visit to see my parents? We should be able to afford getting there.” he suggested. Brian’s dad (along with his stepmom and younger sister) still lived in Michigan. “And we’ll visit your parents while we’re there!” he grinned.

I rolled my eyes. “You’re hilarious. How about we stick with your side of the family.”

My own parents had never really approved of most of the choices I had made in my life, and dating Brian had been no exception. The tattoos, piercings, guitars, everything about him was not the wholesome, religious, upstanding gentleman they had wanted for their only child. Funny thing was, they had never acted outright angry about it. When I had told them we were moving to California, my mother just shook her head in a sad but knowing way. She had said, “You’ll be welcomed back when you are ready to accept God, and have chased the demons from your life.”

Oh, the irony. Never thought I’d have to take her words literally.

Brian must have been thinking somewhere along the same lines. “I guess to show up on their doorstep after four years with the announcement of me having no soul wouldn’t go over so well.”

“No, probably not.”

By the time we were back in Jimmy’s living room ten minutes later, morning was well underway. For the rest of the world, anyway. Zack was passed out on the couch and the other two were nowhere in sight, but I could hear snoring from down the hallway. Most likely Jimmy. I was more than ready to sleep myself. The chance to forget everything that had happened in the last twelve hours was more than welcoming, even if it was just for a little while.

I yawned, pulling Brian’s sweater that I had been wearing over my head as we headed for the spare room, Brian trailing a few steps behind me. I was just about to open the door when he suddenly spoke up. “What happened to your neck?”

Oh, right...I pressed my hand over the now exposed skin. The “hickey” that Todd had left there hours before was still a little swollen, and I could actually feel the individual tooth indentations. That made me a little nauseous. “It’s nothing.”

“It’s fucking something.” Brian said calmly, but there was a trace of anger creeping into his voice.

Brian is, let’s say, a little possessive at times. After all, as I said I’m no stranger when it comes to hickeys. But for him to think I’d be fooling around on him these days? Like I have nothing else a little more pressing to deal with these days.

Still, I guess a dismissive “It’s nothing” probably wasn’t the greatest thing to say...

I sighed, and turned around to face him. “Before those guys dragged me off, one of them tried to, you know...?” I shrugged, hoping I wouldn’t have to say anymore. I had already decided that that horrid event was going to be pushed to the back of my mind, and stay there. But to have to relive it again so soon definitely wasn’t helping that cause.

Brian’s face softened, but out of the corner of my eye I noticed him clench a fist. “And...is that all he did?” he gestured to my neck with his other hand.

“Yeah.”

“Promise?”

I thought of everything those people had put me through. But Brian already knew the rest, and that wasn’t what he meant anyway. “Yeah, promise.”

With that, he seemed to visibly relax, but the somewhat sad expression didn’t leave his face. “I’m so fucking sorry Babes.” he stepped forward and wrapped his arms around me. “You don’t deserve any of this.” he whispered, resting his cheek on top of my head.

I don’t deal with comfort well. I never have. I have this frame of mind that when the going get’s tough, that’s exactly what we have to be until it’s over. Tough. So when someone shows that they genuinely care, sometimes it’s too much and I get a little emotional.

The fact that it’s Brian, who had (with a couple exceptions in the last day or so) been so distant towards me, who had made me question if he even cared at all anymore, only made it worse for me. A whole lot worse.

And I burst into tears.

He seemed a little shocked and pulled away a little. He didn’t let go of me, just backed up so he could see my face. “Ash, what’s wrong?” he frowned a little. “Okay. stupid question...but we’re okay right? Everything’s okay.”

“But for how long?” I managed to say between sobs.

“For as long as we’re together.” Brian grinned, wiping some tears off my cheek with his thumb. “Because I’m not sure how you feel about it, but if I didn’t have you, I definitely wouldn’t be okay.”

“That was cheesy.” I couldn’t help but smile a little. “And you do so know how I feel.”

“Then I think we’ll both be okay. I love you Ashley.”

And then, the last thing I expected him to do. Pulling me closer again, he leaned in and pressed his lips against mine.

I hadn’t been able to remember the last time Brian told me he loved me. And I couldn’t remember the last time Brian had kissed me. I mean, really kissed me. Then again, I couldn’t remember much at the moment.

Somehow I had ended up with my back against the bedroom door. I don’t know how long I had been waiting for this, but there was no way I was going to waste the moment. He still tasted like cigarettes and mint gum. Just like I remembered, and I couldn’t get enough of him. Luckily, it seemed I wasn’t the only one. Brian sure knew how to turn my mood around.

I felt him slide one hand under the front of my shirt and I stiffened, involuntary images of being trapped in the bathroom with Todd suddenly filling my mind. Brian noticed and pulled away slightly, dropping his hand back to his side. “Too much?” he asked worriedly.

I thought hard for a moment. The here and now was what I wanted to remember, not that monster. “No.” I slipped my arms around his waist and pulled him back against me. “Not enough.” I gave him what I hoped was a convincing smile.

He took the hint. “I aim to please.” he kissed my lips again, before starting a trail of barely-there kisses down to my neck. The side Todd hadn’t managed to assault.

“Tell me to stop if you want to.” he pressed a firmer kiss against the side of my neck before biting down softly, only hard enough for me to feel his teeth graze along my skin.

I moaned softly and tilted my head slightly, allowing him more room to work his magic. Brian knew all my sweet spots, and he was definitely taking advantage of that now. One of my hands slid into his hair, and I gripped it tightly. The man knew his cues too, and I felt his lips curve into a smile against my neck. His hand returned under my shirt, but this time I didn’t tense up. Instead I just leaned into him more as his hand crept up my stomach.

And then I was falling through the air.

Literally.

Someone had opened the bedroom door from the inside.

Luckily Brian caught me and pulled me back upright, all in about a second. “What the fuck?”

I glanced behind me to see Johnny looking us up and down with bleary eyes. “Guess you guys need this room more than I do.” he mumbled, yawning and shuffling passed us and out to the living room without another word.

I wasn’t sure whether to laugh or not. Brian stared at Johnny’s retreating form for a moment before shrugging. He smiled coyly and gestured at the now open doorway. “You heard the man. We need this room.”