Let the Flames Begin

I woke up in an unfamiliar room, Robbie asleep in the bed next to me. I sat up and ran a hand through my hair, the events of the previous night/morning all coming back to me. The call at 3 in the morning, the song-writing in Hayley’s basement. Everything was really coming together. I heard voices drifting into the room from the kitchen and got out of bed, wandering towards the sound. I stepped out into the kitchen, where Jeremy and Andy were sitting, eating left-over pizza.

“Hey!” Andy said brightly. I smiled at her and waved lamely. “Hi,” I said. “What time is it?” The drummer glanced at her watch. “Two in the afternoon,” she said with a shrug, taking another bite of pizza. “Where’s everyone else?” I asked. Andy shrugged. “Taylor’s down in the basement, trying to perfect his guitar parts for the new song,” he said. “Hayley had to go out and do something. I don’t know. She got a call a few hours ago and disappeared.”

I nodded. I felt awkward standing there. Jeremy and Andy were both so friendly, and I was just acting cold towards them. I wanted to be friends, but I didn’t know how. I was afraid that if I tried to talk to them, they wouldn’t like me. I looked down at my feet and played with the hem of my shirt. “I guess I’ll go work on my guitar parts, too,” I said. Jeremy nodded. “Okay,” Andy said. “We’ll be down soon as well to practice!” I smiled at them both before making my way down to the basement.

Taylor was lying on the massive air mattress, his guitar slung over his body. He stared at the ceiling and played, seemingly lost in another world. “Hey,” I said quietly. He stopped playing and rolled his head to the side to look at me. When he saw it was me, he smiled, gesturing for me to lay down next to him. I climbed onto the mattress and laid on my back beside him, resting my hands on my stomach. I stared at the ceiling as a comfortable silence settles over us. Taylor was the first to break it.

“You did really good last night,” he said. “With the guitar parts and lyrics and everything.” I smiled and thanked him, suddenly feeling awkward. Why did I always get like this? “What did you mean, though?” I rolled my head to look at Taylor. “What did I mean about what?” I questioned. “About the world being a monster,” he clarified. I sighed and looked back up at the ceiling again. “That’s the way it’s always been to me. Cruel, harsh and unforgiving. Life is hard, and the world doesn’t make it any easier. It’s just…I guess that’s just how I feel. Like if I don’t watch my back, it’ll eat me alive.”

A silence settled over us again as my words hung in the air. Taylor pushed his guitar off his body and onto the ground, reaching his hand out to rest on top of mine. I allowed the contact, his fingers closing around mine, as our hands slipped onto the mattress between us. “You know things will get better,” Taylor said. “The world isn’t always out to get you.” I sighed and stared into his brown eyes. “Feels that way,” I said. “Well, the next time the world bothers you, you just let me know,” Taylor said with a smile. I smiled back at him, my heart leaping in my chest.

Butterflies suddenly erupted in my stomach as Taylor’s grip on my hand tightened and he leant towards me. I’d never felt like this. I didn’t know what it was, or how to explain it. My heart beat at an unusually fast rate, threatening to bust through my ribcage. Taylor’s forehead rested against mine and he let go of my hand to rest his hand on my hip. Our thighs were touching as we leant towards each other on the mattress.

“We, we, we so excited!” Andy’s loud voice rang throughout the house, immediately jerking Taylor and I apart. He grabbed his guitar and slung it across his body again. I rolled off the mattress and grabbed the guitar closest, sitting in Hayley’s armchair in the corner. Andy came bounding down the stairs, followed closely by Jeremy. Both had huge smiles on their faces as they took their places in the basement with their instruments.

I glanced over at Taylor, trying to piece together what had just happened? What would we have done if Andy and Jeremy hadn’t showed up? I didn’t want to think about it. I’d never been any good with relationships, and I was better off alone. I had Robbie to worry about, anyway. I focused my attention back on the guitar in my lap, going over the melody Taylor and I had written together. Everyone else was going over their parts, too, the room filling with noise.

“Stop!” Andy yelled over the top of us. “Can we at least play it together so it doesn’t just sound like noise?” We all nodded and she counted us in, the sound of my guitar starting us off. Taylor came in next, his guitar part blending perfectly with mine and sounding almost eerie. Andy and Jeremy joined in with their parts as we got into the verse, the music filling the room. By the time we reached the end of the song, we all stared at each other, breathless.

Andy was the first to break the silence. “That was fucking awesome! she exclaimed, a huge smile on her face. Jeremy agreed and the two exchanged high-fives. Taylor’s phone started ringing, and he got it from his pocket, holding it to his ear to answer. From the stressed expression on his face, I was guessing it was a business call. He put his guitar down and left the room to continue the conversation. Jeremy and Andy struck up a conversation and I just sat there on my own, feeling empty without Taylor’s presence.

When he came back into the room, he sat down on the couch and leant back, running his hand through his hair, obviously stressed. “What’s up, dude?” Jeremy asked him, also picking up on his changed mood. Taylor sighed. “That was Hayley. She’s been in and out of meetings with executives from the label. We have to release an official statement about Ryder and Andy, do a photo shoot and interview for a magazine, the whole lot.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing!” Andy said, obviously excited. “Does this mean I get a makeover? Maybe they can actually make me look like a girl,” she continued. Jeremy snorted in laughter. “You already look like a girl, silly,” he told her, obvious chemistry between the two. I looked over at Taylor again, struggling to understand why he was so stressed about it.

“When’s all this gettin’ hooked up?” Jeremy asked Taylor. “Tomorrow,” the guitarist replied. “Hayley’s getting everything organized now. I guess she’ll just text everyone the details as soon as they’re certain.” Jeremy nodded, before teasing Andy about the makeover she would receive for the photo shoot. I tuned them out, instead focusing my attention on Taylor. He looked up at me and our eyes locked. I looked away first, feeling the heat rise in my cheeks.

“I think I’m better take Robbie home,” I told the others. “I’ll see you all tomorrow.” Jeremy nodded. “Yeah, see you!” He called after me, before turning back to Andy, who simply waved at me in passing, before turning back to Jeremy.

I walked up the stairs to the room Robbie was staying in, but found it empty. Someone came in behind me, and I turned to see that it was Taylor standing in the doorway. “Hey, what was that all about?” I asked him. He sighed. “I never expected things to get along this fast,” he said, biting on his bottom lip. “Is it a bad thing?” I asked him. “No,” he said. “It’s just…Hayley always handles everything. We’re the last ones to know anything and then she just springs things on us and expects us to just go along with it…”

I frowned and sat down on the edge of the bed. “So, you want more notice?” I asked him, trying to figure things out. “No, that’s not it,” Taylor replied, scratching his neck. “I don’t know how to explain it. I guess I just feel a bit…insignificant sometimes.” I tilted my head to the side and looked at him. “But you’re not, Taylor. You’ve changed my life,” I said, my voice cracking. Taylor smiled at me and crossed the room to side down on the bed beside me. “Things will be different tomorrow, you know,” he said. “What do you mean?” I asked him. “It can all be really full-on. I was nowhere near ready when it all hit me in the face. The cameras, fans, interviews, people fussing over you all the time. It gets lonely,” he said, looking into my eyes.

“At least I’m not the only one new at all this,” I said. “Andy and I will stick together.” Taylor smiled and nodded. “It’ll be fun,” he said, more to convince himself than me, it seemed. He squeezed my knee reassuringly and stood up. I followed him out of the room and into the kitchen, where Robbie was watching the small television on the bench.

“C’mon, Robbie,” I said. “We’re going home.”
“Actually,” Taylor said. “I had other plans…”
______

“This is ridiculous,” I said, standing in front of the full-length mirror. Taylor laughed and shook his head. “You look like a rock star!” He said, demanding that I do a few turns for him. I did so with little effort, slouching for effect. He laughed again.

He’d dragged Robbie and I to the mall to go shopping, of all things. He insisted that we needed clothes, which we did, but I hated going along with it. He’d already provided us with a place to live. That on it’s own was too much, without him paying for everything. When I’d pointed this out and protested to going shopping, he’d just laughed, assuring me that I’d be making more money than him in no time and that I would be easily able to pay him back, if it really bothered me that much.

It did. I’d be paying him back at the first open opportunity.

Now, I had on a pair of ripped skinny jeans and a black tank-top. They were just two of the various items he had ‘forced’ me to try on. I changed back into the clothes I had been wearing when we entered the mall – a pair of denim cut-offs, almost completely worn out, a loose, off-the-shoulder white top and my battered shoes. Altogether shabby, really. But they would do. I’d told myself this various times. I’d even pointed it out to Taylor, but he’d just smiled and shook his head, pulling more clothes off the racks.

Robbie was having an absolute field day. She happily tried on a hundred different outfits that she picked out herself. Taylor and I both told her how great she looked in all of them, and I helped her pick out which items to buy, paying close attention to which were the cheapest. I felt so bad for allowing Taylor to do this, but he looked like he’d just won the fucking lottery. The smile never left his face and he looked like the happiest person on the face of the planet. It was kind of weird.

After two and a half hours, the three of us left the mall, all carrying shopping bags in our hands. We loaded them into the trunk of Taylor’s car and drove home. I still couldn’t believe it. We took them inside and dumped them on the couch. Robbie immediately took the bags containing her new clothes to her room, closing the door behind her, but not before hugging Taylor and thanking him for what seemed like the millionth time. She looked so happy and I was so proud of her.

I made my way into the kitchen to prepare dinner for the others, still trying to get batter at cooking. I wanted to do all I could to help out in the house, as a sort-of way to pay Taylor back, until I started making money and could pay him back for real. I owed him so much. We’d been living together for just over a week now, and I was only just starting to settle in. Robbie had easily adjusted to the new environment immediately, getting along with Taylor like she’d known him her whole life.

I found that Taylor and I got along well, too. Ever since we’d met, it was like we’d clicked. I felt like he understood me, and he respected my privacy, never interrogating me about my past life or prying into my business. We had become close, and could talk for hours at night and never get bored. We would spend hours writing songs together and talking about the music that we both loved. I had found a friend in him and was eternally grateful for all he had done for Robbie and I.

Now, he joined me in the kitchen, helping me to prepare dinner – pasta. As I heated up water in the saucepan on the stove and poured the pasta in to boil, he got to work on the sauce. I set the table and turned the stereo in the living room on, ’I Want To Hold Your Hand’ by The Beatles playing softly through the speakers.

Taylor started singing along to himself and I smiled, taking over making the sauce for him whilst he checked on the stove. I felt his arms wrap around my waist from behind and his head rest on my shoulder. My heart rate quickened at the contact. I didn’t know what I was feeling for Taylor, or even if it was a feeling at all. “I’m really glad we live together,” Taylor said now. “Me, too,” I said, smiling. “I’ll go get Robbie,” he said, kissing me on the forehead before releasing his grip on me.

I stared after him as he left the kitchen; my forehead feeling like it was burning where he had kissed me. My heart beat erratically. I shook my head and focused on the task at hand, draining the now-cooked pasta before piling it on the plates and adding sauce and grated cheese on top. I set the plates on the table just as Taylor and Robbie entered, Taylor’s arm draped over the teen’s shoulders. They were both smiling as we all took our seats at the table to eat.

I looked at the two, a smile playing on my lips. My heart soared. I finally felt like I belonged somewhere. Taylor had accepted us with no questions asked. This was my family, my home.