Let the Flames Begin

“Are you nervous?” Jeremy asked, his arm casually hanging over the steering wheel of his huge black truck and the window ruffling his hair.

“Why would I be nervous? We’re only running around in an abandoned hospital with explosives blowing up all around us, nothing to be nervous about.”

“I smell sarcasm.”

“You have a good nose,” I retorted. We were headed to the location of the video shoot. Jeremy had offered to pick me up and my grandmother had swindled him inside to eat some of the biscuits she was making. She had fallen in love with Jeremy ever since the day of the interview.

These days, my grandma loved my band more than she loved me. She had them over for dinner, made them baked goods, and kissed their cheeks twice. She adopted four new grandchildren as she liked to say. I was glad she had this for now. Pretty soon she would have no grandchildren around.

Tour was coming quickly. I found myself calling Hayley nearly every day and asking what I should bring with me. Anytime I brought it up to my friends, I would squirm in excitement and they would laugh at me. My mind was consumed with tour.

“A penny for your thoughts?”

“My thoughts are worth more than a penny!” I protested. Then again my mind was consumed with the bassist I’d be touring with. I’d been spending a lot of time with him; going to the mall, going to lunch, practicing.

I banished myself to the friend zone though. We could never be more, no matter how much we joked around and flirted.

“That’s true, you are rather interesting,” he said, turning up the radio as we sped down the highway. I sat back, content with the moment. With my hair whipping around my face and the music loud, I felt normal for a second.

“I think we’re just about there,” he said, making a left off the exit ramp and driving through a small length of woods for a minute. He took a right when he saw a turn-off and then let out a low whistle. “Yeah, this is kind of creepy.”

A huge hospital towered in front of us. The windows were broken and the walls spray-painted, bushes and vines tangled in front. There were vans and tents outside, crews going in and out of the old building.

“Sufficiently creepy I would say Jer Bear,” I said, looking down at my phone and typing out a quick tweet about how creepy the location of the video was. We parked and got out of the car tentatively.

“Jeremy! Andy! C’mon, hair and makeup!” Hayley yelled. Her hair was looking crazy and I just grinned.

“Hayley, what’s up girlfriend? You doin’ good? You lookin’ good? Mhm, girl, you got those lush lips,” I said, speaking in a crazy accent I made up. She laughed and wrapped an arm around me, shaking her head.
“Hey, hey party people!” I announced to Taylor and Ryder and everyone else in hair and makeup. They all laughed and said hello. I plopped into the chair next to Ryder and sighed dramatically. “Makeup time, how tragic.”

The makeup was all natural and my hair was slightly teased. I was dressed in cream colored jeans and shoes. My top was an off white long sleeve shirt with lace sleeves. I was led into a small room in the hospital right off the entrance, the walls painted half-red and the window boarded up.

“So you’re the drummer then?” a man asked, looking up from the red drum set in the corner of the room.

“So you’re the director then?” I joked, a grin spreading on my face. He reached out a hand and I shook it. He led me to the drums and smiled.

“I am the director so I’m gonna stand over there and direct. You are going to hit these drums as hard as possible, looking as angry as possible. Just play through the song once, it’ll sound weird since the drums are muted, and then we’ll get you kicking the walls and stuff,” he said.

“Okie dokie,” I said, taking my proper seat behind the beautiful drums and picking up the sticks. When he counted me in, I started playing the song. It sounded weird and it felt weird. In the beginning, I wasn’t angry enough but as I went through it I funneled my anger from other things into my playing.

There were, admittedly, a lot of things that I was angry about. I slammed the drumsticks into the drums and cymbals, my face a mix of pure anger and malice. I stared at the drums like I hated them, hit them like they were the drunk driver that took my mom’s sanity.

When I finished, I stood up and kicked the bass drum. It fell to the floor with a crash. I lifted a cymbal and threw it at the wall before kicking my snare over too. I turned and thrashed my fists at the walls, letting out an enraged scream. I was worked up and overemotional over virtually nothing.

When the director yelled cut, I kicked the wall a final time and turned to him. He seemed a little surprised at my anger and stepped over the fallen drum kit to stand in front of me.

“You obviously have some pent up frustrations,” he said, “Why don’t you get some lunch? You did really well, exceptional work I would say.”

I thanked him and took my leave, exiting the hospital and taking deep breaths on my way to the catering tent. I piled some food onto my plate and sat at a table by myself. I pushed some food around with my fork and sighed.

“That was awesome. You have some brutal energy dude,” Hayley said, sitting down opposite me with food on her plate. I smiled and shrugged my shoulders. She took a bite of her vegan burger and watched me tentatively.

“I try. It’s not too hard to think of things that make me mad, mostly just Jeremy’s face does the trick,” I said, seeing him approach in my peripheral vision. He ceased moving and I smirked, turning my face to him. He stuck his tongue out at me.

“I was just coming over to say that I’m up next and you gave me inspiration. I’ll be sure to think of your face when I’m smashing up the wall,” he said, sticking his tongue out at me again. I stuck mine out decidedly farther as he walked away.

I sat with Hayley for hours as we waited for everyone to finish. Eventually, when only Ryder was left to film her solo, we made our way to get our makeup redone for the next shoot. As we rounded the corner to the makeup tent and passed the hospital, I saw a tender moment between Ryder and Taylor.

“Hey love birds! Let’s blow some shit up!” I yelled. Ryder laughed and ran after me. We ducked around the crew and they all laughed at us. Eventually she caught me and we fell to the ground, rolling over each other in some form of tickle-wrestling. “You’re insane Ryder!”

“You’re impossible!”

“Alright, you two,” Jeremy said, pulling me off of Ryder. We dusted off our clothes. “Time to be movie stars.”

“I’m still trying to get used to being a rock star,” Ryder said with a laugh.

“Oh, Andy’s had no trouble with that at all,” Jeremy said, laughing. “She’s a total diva!”

“Hey!” I protested, pushing him lightly. He pushed me back and I fell on my butt. They both laughed harder. I pouted and got up, rubbing the sore spot on my butt. Ryder was silent but Jeremy continued with the joke and eventually, he became an annoyance.

I lunged at him and he took off running, out of the hospital and clear into the fields surrounding it. I was close to him but he was faster and I made the choice to just tackle him. Instead, he held me on his back and we spun in circles.

He fell to the ground and we lay in the long grass, our chests heaving and loud laughter echoing around us. I stared at the sky and then turned my head to look at him. His nose ring glinted in the sun and I smiled, content with the moment.

“Andy, since it seems like we’re never getting out of here, d’you just wanna spend the night at my place? It’s closer than yours anyway and I have a new bass line I want you to hear,” he said, turning onto his side and propping his head up with his arm.

“Oh, um, yeah that’s fine,” I said, my heart shoving its way up into my throat, “I can’t believe it’s past noon already.”

“Cool,” he said, ignoring my statement. The wind flickered through and my hair fluttered into my face. Jeremy reached out and tucked it behind my ear. “I didn’t mean it, y’know, about you being a total diva.”

“I know,” I said quietly, my heart beating its way out of my mouth. Hayley’s voice interrupted everything.

“Buttholes, c’mon! It’s hair and makeup time!” she sang. Jeremy bounced up and then helped me up. We walked to hair and makeup together before separating. It wasn’t fair that the boys never took long.

My makeup this time was dark to the point of dramatic and my hair teased out to a maximum. I was wearing black, ripped skinny jeans and combat boots with an oversized white v-neck. A long necklace with colorful feathers hung around my neck.

“Ah, so we meet again Andy,” the director said. I nodded politely and shook his hand as he led me into the building. “Okay Andy, this is the basic idea. There is a main area of the hospital where six hallways all lead into one, small room. We’re going to have the five of you running down a hallway each with some explosives and then when you get to the room, look at your band, and run down the extra hallway.”

“Sounds good to me,” I said.

“Alright, cool. I have to go explain to the others. My attendants will help set you up and start filming some shots of you,” he said before walking in the complete opposite direction.

The hospital was creepy on the inside, with boarded windows, painted walls, and discarded stretchers. Unfortunately, one of the attendants had me sit on the battered stretcher. He explained the dangers of explosives and how important timing was so we did a small run through of what I would do.

It was taking forever to get everything set up and timed correctly so the behind the scenes camera came over and I made faces at it. The cameraman laughed at me as I leaned back against the wall and groaned.

“I’ll regret making those faces when I see the video,” I said, pouting. “This is taking forever and we’re in a creepy hospital and I’m creeped out and it’s creepy!”

Eventually, the film student or attendant or whoever he was, cued me to start my acting. I sat on the stretcher, leaning against the wall with one foot on the stretcher and one dangling. I looked around with a hopeless, exhausted look on my face and heard the first cue for explosives.

When I heard the boom and crackle of electricity, I looked up with a startled expression. Another cue and then another boom sent me off the stretcher and through the doors of the hallway. The loudest crack of them all sounded and I saw sparks, which was obviously when I went flying down the hallway at near full-speed.

Maneuvering around all the cameras and still acting was tough but when I got to the small room, I luckily found Hayley, Taylor, Jeremy, and Ryder. We all looked at each other and heard yells from each of our hallways, signaling another crash and we ran down the sixth hallway.

“Cut!” the director yelled and everyone in the hallway clapped. “Thank the lord that you’re all smart, intelligent people that know how to follow directions. We’ll just shoot you running down this hallway quickly and then we have the pool.”

We had a quick break and I stood in the corner with the water bottle they handed me. I watched as Hayley spoke to the behind the scenes camera and high five Ryder. I was exhausted.

The cameras and lighting were set up quickly this time and we were warned again about just how dangerous these explosives were. These would be more dangerous than the previous and we had a farther run.

When the director called “Action!” we set off at a sprint, explosions going off behind us. We ran through a chapel area and I looked back, a panicked expression on my face. I wasn’t acting, this stuff was blowing up too close.

Eventually we ended up running into the same room that we had done our solo work in, our instruments lying untouched around. We stared at the walls and ceilings, ignoring each other. Another “Cut!” was called and the director congratulated us on finishing the majority of the shoot.

On the way back to hair and makeup, we all complained about not having a two-day video shoot. Pete had said it was our call but we insisted on getting the footage done as soon as possible. It was getting dark outside and there were bright lights for our makeup to be done.

As a stylist ran a straightener through my hair, I ate my dinner. The makeup took a while but I was sitting with Hayley and Ryder so it wasn’t too bad. I squeezed myself into a skin tight black dress with only one shoulder. I looked myself over in the mirror and shrugged. I didn’t look too shabby.

“We could be going to a prom,” I said to Ryder, nudging her as we walked. She snorted and rolled her eyes.

“Like I would go to prom,” she scoffed.

“I didn’t go to prom either. Instead I sat under the bleachers of the high school and drank cheap beer with my friends,” I said, shrugging. Prom wasn’t my scene. These dresses obviously were because as we stepped into the large room with the pool, the boys wolf-whistled.

I ignored the way Taylor and Ryder hugged and kissed and focused my attention on the director. He explained about the pool and what we had to do. It was simple really, just lay there and close my eyes.

It was anything but simple.

Water kept clogging my ears, which was mega uncomfortable. Of course, I never knew when someone was talking to me or if it was Hayley doing her part. This part seemed to drag on forever. Finally, the director yelled, “That’s a wrap!” and the whole crew started clapping and we all congratulated each other and said things to the behind the scenes camera while wrapped in towels.

Ryder and I shrugged off our towels and waltzed around the room in our wet dresses before switching our partners so I was dancing with Hayley. It was hard to keep a straight face and we were cold, so we stopped and laughed and changed back into the clothes we wore to the location.

I said my goodbyes and dragged myself into the car. Jeremy looked just as tired as I did and he drove slowly and carefully toward his new house. I dozed off in the car a little bit but we stopped and got small coffees to give us some energy.

When we got to his house, it was like an obstacle course of boxes. He had a couch, coffee table, and a TV in his living room plus a sea of boxes. His kitchen was only half unpacked and it seemed the rest of his house was the same way.

Of course, that wasn’t the case with his music room. His basses were neatly lined up and two amps were next to them. Guitars hung on the walls and a pristine, golden drum kit sat in the corner. I stroked the drum covers longingly.

“Sit,” he said, throwing the strap of his usual bass over his shoulder and plugging himself in, “Tell me what you think and if inspiration strikes, add something.”

I nodded and let him start playing, twirling the drumsticks in my fingers. It was a slow, sad tone at first but eventually gave way to a louder and more vibrant bass line. I gently listened to the loops and signaled for him to start over. I followed his beats and improvised a backing drum beat.

“It’s beautiful,” I said when we were done, “I love it.”

“It’s about you,” he said.

“It’s about me,” I repeated, running a hand through my wavy, half dry hair. Curiosity beat my compliment acceptance skills in this one. He bit his lip and then put his bass back on its stand with care.

“I guess, it’s about how I felt and feel about you. Like, it starts out slow and sad because of Zac and Josh but then it just, picks up into this loud and crazy thing just like you. You bring the wildness into my life,” he explained.

I nodded. I was flattered. It meant a lot to me.

“Thank you. It really is beautiful,” I said. He nodded and watched me closely as I placed the drum sticks on the snare and stood up. I was exhausted from running around all day and I knew he was too.

“Here, I’ll get you some clothes and then we can watch a movie or something. I’m overtired,” he said. I followed him upstairs, where he produced a large t-shirt and a pair of clean boxers. I slipped into the bathroom to get changed.

When I came out, Jeremy was downstairs picking a movie. We looked like twins, both in white shirts and blue boxers but he looked better most likely. I pounced on the couch and he produced a blanket and small pillow for me.

“Forrest Gump?” I asked, as the movie started. He shrugged and sat down.
“I figured I would be up way longer than you so I might as well pick one of my favorites,” he said.

“Forrest Gump is one of my favorites too,” I said with a smile, “How do you know you’ll be awake longer than me?”

“I never sleep. It seems to be an actual problem.”

“That’s horrible,” I said, laying my head down in his lap on the pillow and stretching the blanket out on top of me. He ran his fingers through my hair as our attention focused on the movie.

With the flickering lights and the rhythmic feeling of his hand in my hair, I fell asleep.