Let the Flames Begin

“You have your lucky drumsticks, right?”

“Right.” Wrong. Those drumsticks hadn’t been lucky since I’d thrown them at my ex-boyfriend. I certainly was not going to use those today.

“Okay, well good luck honey. I know how much this means to you,” my mom said. I squeezed my eyes shut, begging tears not to come. These were the exact same words she’d said five years ago when I was trying out for the high school marching band.

“Thanks Mommy. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Good bye honey. I love you.”

My mother would be in Glen Arden’s home for mentally and physically incapacitated people for the rest of her life. A car accident five years ago left her reliving the same few months over and over again. She thought I was trying out for the high school marching band.

I walked toward the building that housed my future. I was very sentimental and fate-oriented like that. The security guard in the front told me to go to the first door on my left. I obliged and walked into a small theatre.

There were a lot of people there already; girls and guys holding either drumsticks or guitars. I noticed a nice drum set on the stage, waiting to be played. I took a seat near the front and looked around.

A lot of people looked pretty nervous. Hell, I was pretty nervous. Some of the more social dudes were talking to each other. If I opened my mouth now I’d throw up.

I looked down at my simple outfit. I was wearing my favorite ripped skinny jeans with my favorite flip flops. My friends thought it would be funny to make a shirt for the occasion.

It was black with white, capital letters that read, “Bang the drummer.” I wore it because it was funny.

I tapped my drumsticks against my legs impatiently. I showed up late everywhere, and here was no exception. Soon, the band would be coming out and greeting us. Soon, we would all start playing for them. When the room was nearly full, the three members appeared onstage.

“Hey, guys! I’m Hayley, and this is Jeremy and Taylor,” she announced, gesturing to the boys respectively, “We’re super excited to be auditioning you all today and thank you so much for being here.”

My blood turned to ice and I got nervous. I was usually very confident but this was my future. I could be in Paramore. Jeremy and Hayley called out to some girl that was trying to leave.

I didn’t blame her; I was second guessing myself too.

She looked a little out of place but I wasn’t one to judge. She got on stage and said her name. When she started to play, I think everyone was stunned. It sounded beautiful. She was really good.

When she was finished, she ran out. I would probably follow her lead when I was through. Jeremy followed her and the whole room was buzzing. I pulled out my phone and texted my friends, telling them how nervous I was. I didn’t get any replies. They were probably still asleep from the raucous ‘good luck’ party they threw.

When Jeremy got back, the auditions continued. The girl, Ryder, was back and sitting on an opposite side of the theatre. It became clear to us that people who made interviews sat there. It also became clear that not many people were getting that chance.

When half the people were gone, only seven people sat there. Four boys and three girls sat there with huge smiles on their faces, looking smug indeed. Of them, only two were drummers.

I’d taught myself how to play drums when my dad had bought me a set in seventh grade. He always wanted to get me a teacher but I always insisted differently. My father would probably be proud of me, if I knew where he was.

It probably took hours until it was my turn, but it felt more like minutes. I was sure they had a master list of all our names but instead they went by rows and how people were sitting in them. When a drummer named Chris joined the seven waiting for interviews, it was my turn.

As I bounced up the aisle to the stage, my nervousness spiked to an all time high. I drummed my sticks against my legs, ignoring the eyes watching me. With a quick glance to the eight hopefuls, I smiled at the three remaining members of Paramore.

“What’s your name?” Hayley asked.

“I’m Andy Russo,” I said brightly, my heart definitely in my throat. Jeremy chuckled.

“Bassists go deeper,” he said. I snorted into the microphone and rolled my eyes.

“Guitarists know how to use their fingers,” Taylor said quietly. The room rang with laughter. I couldn’t even believe I was having a conversation filled with sexual innuendos with Taylor and Jeremy.

“Shut up. Everyone tries to bang the drummer,” I said playfully.

“I feel left out, what do singers do?” Hayley whined, pouting. I shrugged.

“I guess you could say they know how to use their mouths,” I suggested. She laughed.

“Okay, I’m happy with that. What are you playing for us?” she asked. I took a deep breath.

“I don’t know, I’m about to find out.”

That was true enough, I thought as I took a set behind the huge drum set. It might have been stupid but I had come completely unprepared to a Paramore audition.

Well, not completely unprepared. I’d practiced many different songs, original and popular. I just never picked which one I’d actually want to do. As I spun my drumsticks in my hand, I quickly decided what I was doing.

I started playing the drum line to That’s What You Get which I flowed into Ignorance. From there I went into a heavier, more complicated beat that I’d made up with my friend a while ago.

As I played, I didn’t notice anything. I briefly saw Hayley’s bright hair and some movement in the back of the room. Nothing could break my concentration. I smiled, exhilarated like I always was when I played. This was truly what I wanted.

When I was done, I stood up and went back to the microphone. I couldn’t wipe the grin off of my face and I was breathing heavily. There was a small amount of people who clapped. The three were talking amongst themselves.

“Okay Andy, why don’t you take a seat over there? We want to interview you,” Taylor said quietly. I nodded excitedly and bounced off stage. As I walked by them I heard someone mutter, “talented drummer.”

I wasn’t sure which it was but as I went to sit with the others, I couldn’t help but feel completely and utterly happy.