And I Think I'll Try Any

One...

It was really kind of funny. How everything changed and shifted gears. So much had changed us. We grew apart after being so close for so long.

We said we’d never do that.

It was a solemn promise, something we even pinky sweared on. Everyone knows you can’t break those. The repercussions of doing so would be heartbreaking… and it was.

My heart was broken.

I wasn’t too sure if his heart was broken, but I had an inkling that it was in intensive care. Best friends gone lovers. Best friends gone wrong. That’s what were. And no other insight could try to fix the damage, piece us back together.

It led to the fall of a band and the fall of childhood friendship. I, honestly, didn’t know who to blame.

The long days of break that became work allowed me to think. It was one of the most terrifying things in my life. The mind isn’t meant to be explored; much less my own. To stop the thoughts, I resorted to the internet where horror game after horror game became my distraction. So much so, I thought I found myself in my own personal Silent Hill. A fog surrounded me constantly and the terrors from the game became him in my dreams. The man would not leave me.

From what I had heard, he had become a drinker, an abuser of what caused him his own childhood pain. Not too sure if it was guilt or not, I began to write about us. Money had to be running short for him. His new venture remotely flopped. He must’ve been desperate for something because to become a heavy drinker gave me that sense.

I never understood him. He never meant what he said. He only spoke in metaphors. I was the only one allowed in his head. To pick his brain was like to find the hay in the needle stack. His mind was that dangerous, but I took my chances.

We both took a chance… on each other.

At a point, he was guaranteed to be the next on top. He could run the business, our own city, even the world. But something happened. Something shook him so much that it caused all of this. Yet, he still kept smiling. A frown never graced his face, not even for money.

Things like that became symbolic to me and so they went into the album. A testament to the monster we created and brought to life in a video. The blatant sign of ‘Mary did it’ was not me blaming him. It was a sign that deep down my best friend had killed me and left me for dead. Others had to pick up the pieces because, at first, I wasn’t even willing to accept he was gone. Lovesick and angry, I removed the one thing that kept us together. His half left my body. The necklace now sat lonely in a box.

It was unfortunate, but needed.

He had worn me out and no one knew what went wrong. He upped and left, taking Jon with him. Jon was a fire starter, a caustic soul that seemed to light up the match that burned our bond to the ground. If that were truly the case, I’d never forgive him.

I’d lost best friends in the past, but not someone like him. He was closer than that. Losing him developed my fear of everything. Silence, laughter, abandonment. Worst of all, I had begun to think that maybe he didn’t exist. If it’s too perfect, then it is and it doesn’t exist. That’s what I decided on. But soon I had to get out. I had to feel the sun again. I had to feel the rain. My reset button had been pressed, but, in the back of my mind, Ryan was still there.
♠ ♠ ♠
Chapter one of my first chaptered Ryden. I hope you enjoyed the opening. More is coming soon.

Comments are golden.