Resistance Is Useless

The court day came and I sat in the witness stand practically having an anxiety attack in front of everyone. What was I supposed to say? How was I supposed to act? The fact of knowing that me testifying would help the judge sentence them and then me, made me feel more guilty than I already did.
But I tried to hold it together standing up there. Matt and a few other friends of Alex that I’d met were there. My mom didn’t come. I knew she wouldn’t want to. I wouldn’t even see her before I’d be hauled to prison. I hated the navy blue jumpsuit they gave me and I knew I probably looked a mess. I was constantly crying and I hadn’t had a cigarette in almost three days. I felt like shit.
I kept my head down as the judge went on talking quietly. I knew this probably wasn’t going to be a fair trial. They knew for a fact they we were guilty, they just wanted all the background facts to put on the record. No lawyer could get us out of this huge, disastrous mess. I knew that, but I was going to cooperate with mine anyway.
They probably didn’t even do this often, sentencing more than two people at one time. I wondered how this was going to work. At this point any sentence didn’t matter. But while I sat there falling apart, the four of them sat down below handcuffed like this was the norm. I still didn’t understand.
“Karina,” I heard my lawyer’s voice. I looked up to see Clinton leaning on the stand. “I’m just gonna ask some questions, take your time, alright?”
I nodded and put my head down again. If I looked at Alex, I’d probably have a breakdown again. I didn’t want to humiliate myself any more than I already had. I held my breath when he started with the robbery at Provident. I was starting to get annoyed at repeating the same story over and over again. It only brought back bad memories.
“So after the robbery, they took you with them, correct?” He asked me and I nodded. “We call that a hostage. And what happened while you were with them?”
“They-” I took a deep breath, “took my purse and threatened me.” I could feel my eyes start to water.
“Threatened you how?” He asked.
“They said they’d-they’d come to my house and kill me,” I said. I deliberately left out the part of them threatening to rape me, too.
“So when did you meet Alex?” He asked.
“A few weeks later at the coffee shop by my apartment,” I answered.
“And you didn’t know him until them?” He asked cautiously.
“No,” I said. I brushed my hands through my bangs and looked back down, picking at my hands.
“He admitted to following you after the robbery and you didn’t notice anything?”
“No,” I said again.
“And even after the other robberies, you still didn’t notice anything. He never told you anything, correct?”
“Yes,” I said quietly.
“How did you find out they were the ones behind the robberies? Did he tell you?”
“No, I--” I stuttered. “Some FBI agents showed me pictures. They all had the same tattoo. It was the same tattoo I saw during the robbery.”
“You never told the police you saw a tattoo, did you?”
“No, I didn’t. But I still didn’t know it was them,” I said.
“What did you do when you realized it was them? You didn’t go to the police about it.”
“I was going to, but I wanted to confront him first--” I explained.
“Which was dangerous if you had known who they were,” He interrupted me.
I snapped my head up and narrowed my eyes at my lawyer. He was supposed to be on my side. For the first time since the questioning, I glanced at Alex. He looked at me apologetically but almost bored. I looked back at my lawyer quickly.
“I know what Alex did, what they did, but they’re not a menace to society. They’re not what you’re making them out to be--” I defended them.
“I object,” The main prosecutor stood up. “Are criminals not a menace to society?”
The judge slammed her gavel and he shut up before he could say any more than I wanted to hear.
“Please do not get personal opinions and affairs into this. Please continue,” She ordered.
“You wanted to confront him and then what?” Clinton started again.
“I went to his house and confronted him. Then I was going to go to the police but he told me I couldn’t. He made me agree to work with them,” I explained.
“And did you?”
“No, I didn’t at first. He didn’t make me. I was scared,” I admitted.
“But you helped them on the most recent robbery,” He said.
“Yes, but only because they said it’d be their last one and they’d leave it alone,” I said.
“And that last robbery got them caught and now you’re in the middle of it,” He stated.
I was really getting irritated with the guy. He was supposed to be my lawyer, not opposing what I said.
“Keep talking shit to her, I dare you,” I heard my favorite voice. I looked up to see Alex glaring at Clinton before pulling on the handcuffs that chained him to the table. If looks could kill, Clinton would be lying dead on the floor from the murderous look Alex was giving him.
“Mr. Gaskarth one more word and I will have you removed from this courtroom,” The judge shouted.
“That’s all I have to ask of my client,” Clinton said quickly before walking away to sit back down. He obviously took Alex’s threat very seriously.
I was allowed to leave the stand and go sit down. I tried to even my breathing from being so nervous and worked up at the same time. I wished that I could’ve sat next to Alex.
The trial was nowhere near over after my questioning. They still had other witnesses and things to present to the judge. I still didn’t understand why we were going through all of this, for something they were going to sentence all of us for anyway.
After another two hours and more things than I could have wrapped my mind around, the final decision was made. I was already having a panic attack as the judge spoke about the law and her deliberation.
“In my years of being in the court of law, I’ve never had a trial like this. However, I have still made the decisions. Alexander Gaskarth, I hereby sentence you to 25 years to life in Tucson maximum security prison.”