We Can Make This Last

“So… where are you going to be at after all of this?” Andy asked during soundcheck in California. I shrugged. “Anyone will take you in. I promise you that. We love you.” I rolled my eyes but smiled anyways.

I’ve come down to the conclusion that I wanted to go home with either T.J from Motionless in White or with Shawn from Alesana. I nodded at him and walked off to go find the two rockers. I pulled them aside and they looked at me with friendly recognition.

“Sup?” They asked.

“So, I have nowhere to stay after this…” Their faces fell.

“You should come live with me—” Shawn said.

“He means me.” T.J corrected.

“So rock-paper-scissors for it.” I suggested. They did so, and T.J automatically declared, “Two out of three,” and they went at it until Shawn won.

“YEAH! ALRIGHT! Come hither.” He pulled me away and I said bye to T.J, who smiled and walked off to his band. “So,” he said, crossing his arms over his chest. “It’d be rad if you came with. You need your stuff, right? Nothing else? You sure?” I nodded. “Alright. Well, then, this is what’s going to end up happening. We’re going to go back to the studio and get in our cars and then I guess I’ll drive you to my house after that. There’s a guest room. You cool with that?”

“For sure!” I hugged him. “Thanks so much…”

“No problem, Taylor! You’ve been a good friend so far. I’d be happy to assist you in taking you into my humble abode.”

“Thank you so much. You don’t even know…” I smiled softly and let go of him. “I’ve gotta go to work soon. See ya later!” I skipped off, since soundcheck was over and soon, people would be coming into the venue. I made my way up to the merchstands and stood behind the Motionless in White one. I then remembered that I had to text my cousin.

Me: I’m in Cali.

She texted back quickly.

Bianca: Where you attt?
Me: Whisky go go
Bianca: alright I know where that is.

The fuck? Is she coming?!

Oh God.

People started coming in and I got to work already. Working the merchstand was fun. I joked with the others and got to meet fans of the bands. It was all such a rad time… and I rocked out to the music tonight again. Such a fun time.

Then a specific customer came.

“Dude, you work for them?!” She asked. “Bitchin’, yeah? Fucking dope.” She smirked softly and I rolled my eyes. “When can you ditch?”

“When the whole concert’s over and done with,” I said.

“Alright, then.”

“Did you pay for a ticket or sneak in somehow?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. I knew how she was. She was a total hippie, I swear. She had long black hair, a long tshirt and skinny’s and also had a shit ton of necklaces, bracelets and peace sign earrings. She also had a kind of shawl over her that she modernized but completed the whole boho style. Her eyes were lined in black and she had a smoky eye look to her.

Beautiful as always.

“I paid thank you very much.”

I sighed and continued taking the fans’ moneys and giving them merch. Bianca stayed and sat on the floor behind the merch stand next to me and smiled around. Oh fucking God.

When Escape the Fate was done with their set, as in the whole concert was done, I had another half hour to work and then Bianca took me away.

“Wait!” I said, sighing. Bianca stopped and looked at me. “I have to go off with Shawn… I was gunna go live with him and go off on Warped later.”

She gave me a hilariously confused look. “Man, who’s Shawn?!”

“Shawn Milke, from Alesana.”

“Whaaat kid. Tell him you’ll be back later or you’ll meet him later.”

“How long’s the rave?” I asked.

“Til six?” She guessed, shrugging. I bit my lip and texted Shawn.

Me: Shawn, I’ll be back soon. Go on without me. I’ll meet you at your studio in a few hours—or if you don’t want to wait for me, I’ll just get at your house. Just make sure you get my stuff from the BVB bus onto yours… I’m sorry, something came up, but I’ll come back asap. <3
Shawn: um, ok. Why… um I’ll tell you the address…

And he did, and I set off with Bianca in her Camry to a crazy Californian 18+ Rave.

So. Many. People.

I basically started dancing and jumped up and down and started yelling shit… and drinking… a lot… and then I was handed sugar cubes! I MEAN! SUGAR CUBES?! Like I never see these. Ever. I’ve always wanted to! I’ve seen them in like cartoons and shit. I thought they were made up or whatever. It’s nuts. Oh my god a whole sugar cube would be so fattening.

I popped it into my mouth.

Bianca had one—or two. Three. I decided on three sugar cubes. She laughed and we went up to like a room after wards.

AND COLORS.

I looked up, seeing designs and it looked like a pool of colors and like a kaleidoscope. It was rad! Oh but then I saw—

“HI!” I yelled. “Oh how cute!”

“Hi. These colors. Ah boy.”

“Hi bunny. I’ma call you Erin.”

“Chairs are like toads. They have no use.”

For what. Twenty minutes? It left. I was laughing so fucking much. No sense. Bianca had was throwing food at her animal and we ended up rolling on the ground of the room and banging our fists on it. I grabbed a pillow and smashed my face into it, snorting with laughter and laughing so much my stomach hurt like fuck. I loved that bunny. “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHA!” I yelled, laughing.

“WHAT?! WHAT DID YOU JUST?! WHAT!?!” Bianca yelled, looking at the ceiling. “OH MY GOD!” I made the biggest smile and my eyes widen at how hilarious everything was, and I smirked softly.

“Hey here,” Bianca handed me another sugar cube. I ate it up.

Bunny came back. Erin the bunny. I died of laughter. We played hide and go seek and Bianca’s lemur was apparently hopping around everywhere. I hid behind the curtain and opened it up with the blind, and went “Meehahhhhooooowww” in a weird high voice, and Bianca laughed. Erin the bunny giggled and I shut the curtain, then opened it again and went “Meehaahhhhhooowwww”

This is fun!

---

I sighed. I didn’t want Taylor running around California just because. I know her cousin was a wild girl—even back when Taylor was like fifteen and her cousin was sixteen, her cousin had done some nutty stuff for that age. Who knows what happened now. I called Taylor quickly.

Ring… Ring… Ring…

“MAX? HAI!” I held the phone away from my ear. Um… she sounds ridiculous. “Dude, you didn’t tell me Californian bunnies talked.” She laughed and snorted. “Lookitohmy.”

“ME?! Nothing!” I heard Bianca, her cousin say loudly. “Me, not!” Taylor laughed.

I’m getting her out of there.

“Where are you?” I asked.

“CIrrirrrcus.”

“Circus?” I asked, looking around at the five bands.

“Max, I think that’s a rave. Over eighteen to get in.” Angelo said. My eyes widened and I hung up. “Are we crashing said rave?”

“Oh definitely,” I said quickly, and ran into the bus. “Let’s go!”

With Angelo’s assistance, we all drove to this ‘rave’. It was fucking filled with people! We got in cuz, well, look at us. We decided to split and look for Taylor and Bianca asap. It’s fucking ridiculous. What kind of music IS this? Some people noticed who I was and I tried to ignore some people, but it was hard. Nicholas went upstairs with Shawn and I decided to look around the back, until when I got to the back, I got a text.

Nicholas: got her. She’s passed out. So is her cousin. Let’s bounce.

I nodded and made my way out to the busses again. We all got in and waited until Nicholas and Shawn came with the two girls in their arms. Shawn went in our bus and Andy decided to come in, too, and Nicholas seemed to be having a dilemma to go in his band’s bus our ours, so he just went with us. I told them to lay them down on an extra bed for now.

Holy fuck.
---

I yawned. My head hurt and I was most uncomfortable. Ow fuck shit! Whimpering, I shot my eyes open and sat up slowly, stretching and arching my back to kind of be somewhat comfortable. I looked next to me, seeing my cousin, Bianca, sleeping soundly on the bed with me. Ohhey. I groaned and stood up, stumbling ever so slightly and going looking around.

This is a room. A legitimate room—and a nice one at that. White walls, grey built in rug, white, huge ass bed with huge, warm sheets and comforters, window, computer, tv, dresser, mirror, and a huge closet.

Where am I? Seriously!

I walked over to the door and opened it, looking around at the unknown house I was in. I looked down at myself. WHO DRESSED ME?! I whimpered softly and ran around the hallway and found stairs, running down them and finding myself in the biggest living room ever, which was connected with the kitchen and dining room. There were some people asleep on the floor, on the couch… oh my.

I walked into the kitchen and noticed Shawn! Shawn Milke! He sipped coffee and gave me a tight smile. He looked exhausted.

“Morning,” He said.

“Morning…”

“IS SHE AWAKE?!” I heard a loud voice say. I looked up and then back at Shawn, who rolled his eyes.

“They’ve been asking for the past two hours,” He said. “YEAH! COME DOWN IF YOU WANT!” Shawn looked at me and pointed at his coffee cup. “Coffee?” I nodded and he turned from me to make coffee. I heard footsteps running at me and then being embraced strongly of two people.

“Taylor,” One of them breathed out softly. Max. I looked at him with soft, tired eyes. I looked at Andy, too, who looked at me… disappointedly. “You fucking crazy bitch,” Max continued. “Oh my God,” He let me go and Andy still held on for two more seconds.

“I’m guessing I’m hungover,” I said softly.

“Ok, so you went to this rave,” Andy said.

“And you had these sugar cubes,” Max said. Shawn handed me my coffee. I nodded and started drinking it.

“And, well, Johnny said there were acid hits in them.” I choked and stared off into space, looking at the dining room table, running to it, setting my coffee on it and sliding into one of the chairs and holding my head with my hands and staring at the wooden table blindly.

If I had sugar cubes with acid in them…

That means that I’ve…

I must have drunken a lot, too.

I’m so ashamed… about the acid… I don’t… ever…

I think when I was buzzed, I declared I was going to marry Jared Leto. GOD, TAYLOR! STAY FOCUSED!

I blinked a few times and took some more coffee. Mother fucker, I’m turning into what I said I would never become… what Bianca is…

The bands have been treating me so nicely since I’ve become a part of their family… and this is how I honestly just treat it all? Get drunk and do drugs? After all they’ve done for me already, I go to a rave and just… ugh!

How could I?

“Tay…” Max said, sitting down next to me. “I think you’re tired. Here’s what’s going to happen…” I was indeed exhausted, and my throbbing headache was obnoxious. “This is Shawn’s house. You’re living with him, and… the rest of us are leaving and going to our own separate houses.”

“But that doesn’t mean we’re not all going to keep tabs on you,” Andy said, sitting on my other side.

“And until June 1st… which is in… sixteen days… or seventeen,” Max shrugged. “We’re all going to crash at my house and prepare for it.”

“Is that really how they do it?” I asked.

“No. We’re just weird.” Andy answered. I nodded slowly and looked at my coffee, frowning down at it. “It’s gone…”

“And now you’re going to bed,” Max said, picking me up and carrying me back upstairs. Bianca was so outcold. Though. I sighed at the sight of her. It’s sad to see addiction get the best of someone… I wish I could’ve stopped it… I looked up at Max and at Andy, who stood over the bed as I got in and Max tucked me in. I giggled softly and he bent down.

“Take care. I’ll text you… call you… whatever else, ok?” He said. I nodded. His green eyes bore into mine and I bit my lip as he pressed his lips on my forehead ever so softly. “Get rest all day. Drink water.” I nodded. “See ya.” He stood up and walked out of the room. Andy crouched down now and rested his head on his arms at the edge of the bed.

“You know… I feel horrible for saying this…” I grew confused. “But… as you probably know, I think you know, at least… that, um… we definitely tone down the asshole, rockstar, sarcastic, wild, pranky, party foul attitudes and personalities when we’re around you.” I blinked. “It’s not for show or anything. Both what we show you and how we act when it’s just band life and having a shit ton of fun is who we are for sure, but we know that it’s good to be mature and kind of show sensitive or calmer sides of us towards you or around you… especially Max and I because we agreed it best not to overwhelm you too much about how much we have changed. My ego can go through the roof, to be completely honest with you,” I rolled my eyes. “But, what I’m saying is… I don’t want this happening again, ok? At least around us… or… if we somehow find out that it happened again—for instance… Shawn may call saying you went out… I’ll be disappointed and stuff. I love you and whatever and don’t want you harming yourself in any way. We’ll tone it down if you do.” Andy’s eyes were soft and friendly as they looked at me, but serious and pleading at the same time.

“Of course, Andy. I’ll tone it down. I won’t party hard. I’ll not drink too much. I’ll try to stay away from that scene as much as I can.” I said honestly. He stuck out his hand and I took it from under the covers with mine. His hands felt so warm and nice. It was good to have him back. He was always my conscience.

“I’ll see you soon, then.”

“See ya.”

“Text me.”

“Ok.”

Andy stood up and left, and I heard feet running down the hallway and boyish groans and yawns and laughter downstairs. Everyone was getting up now and leaving. I sighed and turned into a more comfortable position before passing out again.