An Array of Colors

We’d barely done anything. Just the light brush of our lips. But it was the only thing on my mind. I wanted to see if we could take this further, but he seems like someone who would just up and move at the first problem. Maybe that’s because he just came here because of bullying at his old school.

I really don’t know how much he went through and I must admit I’ve thought of moving away because of that reason. The principal here just turns a blind eye to everything that’s going on. And while I may work out, I’m not nearly strong enough to fight off four boys on the football team. And one in the drama club…

But they don’t even give me a chance for a fair fight. Because they know I could beat them, and wouldn’t that be embarrassing?

People would be talking about how the princess creamed them for weeks, maybe even months. It all depends on how big the next scandal is.

But of course it wouldn’t happen.

I rubbed my thumb where his had left and invisible mark. I could still feel the warmth there from his finger. And I could still feel the dampness even though I reasonably knew it could no longer be there.

I looked at the painting I was currently working on. There was a dove with a rose in its mouth flying through a white heart-shaped cloud. But the sky was black. Because any love with me involved would be dark and hard.

I’d used the English thing as an excuse to keep getting Silver over. We’d kissed a few more times other than the first time, but that’s basically it. Not that I’m complaining. My last boyfriend wanted sex on the second date. I think it goes without saying that I dumped him. He would’ve done the same to me, just after he used me.

I was self-preservative, so I obviously wouldn’t let that happen. Silver wasn’t pushing me like that at all. I guess I was telling him about my distrust for other people more than I’d planned to, but it turns out he had the same problem and we were thinking of that as our topic. And I knew that my parents were always away and I was always conflicted about that. I never heard anything about his dad, so maybe he could relate to that too.

I was more interested in our relationship than our relationships with our parents.

Where were we going? Because while we’d kissed we acted as if nothing happened and I think I’d label it as friends with benefits although I hoped that wasn’t the case. I’d have to ask Silver about it.

“Hey! Cobalt! I’m so excited because I’m going on a date with Fallow!”

I looked up to see Fawn standing right in front of me.

“That’s great. I hope you have fun.”

“How’re things with you and Silver? Have you been getting your groove on?”

“Where’d you get the time machine?”

“Huh?” she asked, stumped.

“Getting your groove on? Did you travel back in time?”

“No,” she said laughing, “But I’ve been hanging out with my mom more often lately.”

“Well, that explains everything.”

She glared at me for insulting her mother but then smiled.

“Looks like your ‘boyfriend’ is coming this way. I have to go see Fallow, see you later.”

I watched as my friend walked away and a gorgeous boy slipped into the seat across from me. I gave him a big smile that I bet no one’s seen in a long time other than him.

I was curious as to what was so different about him, but really the question was what wasn’t different? He was shy but expressive. He didn’t shove his opinion onto me, he could convey event the hardest emotion through a simple painting or drawing. He was simply perfect. And it was his flaws that perfected him. I couldn’t be with someone who never did anything wrong, who never had to face something worse than what outfit to pick out. I needed someone who was perfectly broken just like me.

And that’s what we were. We were both perfectly broken, but when glued together we made a whole, and I wanted to stay intact.