Resistance Is Useless

Landon

You that feeling when you want to tell someone something and you can't think of the words to say it? Yeah, that's how I feel right now. And to more than just one person. I've been spending so much time with Alex lately, actually acting civil since that morning two weeks ago, and Carson's been stuck up Jack's ass. They were too cute for words. Even if they aren't really dating. I wanted to tell Carson about what had happened on the soft patch of grass. Fuck, I wanted to at least bring up the subject with Alex. When we get a little too close, which happens more than it should, he back away and ignores me for a few hours. It pisses me off to no end. I hate this feeling. The feeling of wanting to talk about something, but you just can't. And it sucks.
I was up in my room, painting my nails jet black, the same color of my hair, over-thinking everything like us girl's do. I fucking hate being a girl. It's too damn hard. Boys are easier to talk to. I spent most of my time with my guy friends when I lived with my dad. Sure, I got into the group because I slept with one of them, but the rest knew the rules. They were like my older brothers, and I loved that about them. Now I don't have that feeling of security. I'm not one to admit when I feel alone, but I've felt this way since moving in with my mom. It's not something I'm used to.
"Lan?"
"Come in! The door's open!" I shouted back to see Alex entering my room.
"Oh my damn. Is Landon being....girly?!"
"Landon is painting her nails black...if you call that girly."
"Yupp. I sure do." He stated, basically jumping on my bed beside me. "How much longer are you going to take?"
"I don't know, why?" I questioned, raising my eyebrows at him.
"Because I'm fucking bored."
"Don't you have some sort of concert to prepare for or something?"
"It's a gig, Landon. And we're already ready to play." He rolled his eyes. "You're coming right?"
I turned my head from my nail polish and looked at my step-brother.
"To the All Time Low concert?" I questioned.
"Duhhhhhhh."
"Sure," I shrugged, and going back to painting my nails.
"I need attention!" Alex whinned.
"Go call Rian."
"He's with Kara,"
"Zack?"
"He's still scared to come around me," He chuckled, referring to when he confronted Zack about our hook up. Zack may be bigger than Alex, but Alex can be scary when he wants to be.
"Um..fuck. I don't know, Alex," I sighed heavily. I finished painting my nails. I felt his eyes burning holes in the back of my head as he watched me carefully. I tried my best to ignore it, but it just wasn't working. I blew on my nails, waiting for them to dry.
"We can..." He trailed off.
I raised my eyebrows again at him. My mom and his dad were downstairs right now.
"I don't think that it's the best time for that...." I trailed off, ignoring his brown eyes.
"So you're saying yes?"
"I'm saying...shit, Alex. They're in the living room!"
"We don't have to do anything major!" He hissed back. "Damn..."
I groaned, rolling my eyes.
"Later. When they're asleep or out or something..." I reasoned. "Will that work for you?"
He winked.
"Sure thing."
"So what until then?"
"Fuck if I know."
"Let's go chill at the skate park," I randomly stated.
"The skate park? You skate?"
"Mmhmm." I nodded my head, lifting myself from my bed and walking over to my closet. I grabbed out my favoriteLandon's skate outfit: skate board, cut off shorts and a over-sized top. "I'm going to change."
"Don't let me stop you," He chuckled, crossing his arms behind his head and crossing his legs as he laid down on my bed.
"Fucker." I muttered, but he didn't hear me. Instead he closed his eyes. I changed as quickly as possible, and I turned around to see Alex still in the same position with his eyes still closed. I smiled slightly and walked over to my bed. Carefully, I crawled until I straddled his waist. He opened his eyes, and placed his hands on my hips.
"What are you doing?" He laughed.
I shook my head and smiled.
"I dunno."
"Care to figure it out?"
"No, not really,"
He laughed, and started to trace circles on my bare skin. He lifted himself until he was resting against the head board, me still on his lap.
"Really?"
"Really," I laughed, placing my forehead against his. "Kiss me?"
"You don't have to ask." He smirked.
"I thought I'd show my manners." I retorted, getting a little sassy. "Kiss me, dammit."
"Demanding woman." Alex chuckled before moving his head slightly up, our lips meeting softly. "There."
I rolled my eyes. I placed my left on on his cheek, cupping it while my right hand swept his bangs from his face. His hands moved from my hips, and wound around my back, resting lightly on the small of my back.
"We could get in a lot of trouble." I mumbled, looking at him straight into the eyes. "Is this even legal?"
"I'm not your actual blood brother, Landon," He said, slightly whispering. "It's not illegal. Didn't we establish this a few weeks ago?"
"I guess..." I shrugged, moving his head back toward my face, kissing him again. "It's just..." I kissed him again.
"What?" He asked me inbetween kisses."
"It's-" kiss. "so-" kiss "wrong."
"Your-" kiss "point?"
I guess I really didn't have a point. Alex isn't my brother. He's not a blood relative. He's just some hot guy that happens to live in the next room over. His dad married my mom, after Alex was a teenager. We are not related. It's not bad...I think.
"But we should stop," I replied, pulling my lips away from his, and looking into his eyes. He looked slightly confused and I nodded toward my board. "Let's go skate."
Alex nodded, smiling slightly as I climbed off of his lap. I grabbed my board and walked back to where he was, offering my hand to him. He took it, but didn't let go as we walked down stairs and out into his car.
"I find it interesting that you skate." He stated, turing right. "You seem way to preppy for that."
"Alex, you've been spending a major amount of time around me. I'm not all that girly."
"But still. I can't really wrap my head around it. You're weird, Landon."
"I also play the guitar, but ya know..." I smirked.
"What is it with me and guitar players?" He asked playfully.
I rolled my eyes at his lame joke.
I'v come to find out a lot about Alex recently. It turns out that Jack isn't the only guy that Alex has ever had feelings for. He realized that he liked guys too when he started having sex dreams about Billy Joel Armstrong from Greenday. But I mean, who wouldn't?! That man is fine. Anyway, he told me. He told me stories about high school, and how he found it difficult not to look at guys in gym sometimes. Just because he liked them to. His first legit crush was when he was sixteen and at a party. A group of people were playing spin the bottle, and he happened to land on Zack. Which led to them kissing for a minute. I found it odd that it happened that way, that he accepted being bisexual from Zack. Alex explained about him having a little chick crush on Zack, but I never did find out how.
"Hey, Alex?"
"Yeah?"
"Why did your crush on Zack go away?"
"Well he got buffer." He laughed. "And his hair dyed blonde by the end of Junior year, and he went to a different high school. It just...vanished."
"And what about the crush on Jack?"
"I never told you how that one came about?"
I shook my head.
"No, not really."
"Oh, well Jack and I were jamming in my room when it just kind of hit me. I realized how hot Jack really is. He may be lanky, but he's gorgeous. At this point in time, I hadn't told anyone about my sexuality. Not even my dad."
"Wow."
"So we were just sitting there and I looked at Jack. Then the next thing I knew I was like 'Dude, I'm totally bi.'. It just slipped out, and Jack got that crooked grin on his face, and laughed. He knew I was serious, but he thought it was funny. He told me that it was cool, and that he's had a guy crush before, but only on one person."
"Who?"
"That's what I asked." Alex chuckled, lightly running his thumb over my hand. "He said that it was a best friend on his and that he didn't want to ruin the relationship,"
"But that could've ment anyone." I rolled my eyes. "Jack says everyone is his new best friend."
"True, but he's always said to me, 'Alex, you're the only person I refer to as my best friend on a regular basis.'. Jack wouldn't have called Zack and Rian that for the world. Not at that age. We were all just best buds, but Jack and I were best friends. Does that make sense?"
"Sort of..." I trailed off. "So he actually told you that it was you without telling you straight out that he liked you?"
"That's right." He chuckled.
Call me crazy, but I actually enjoyed these in-depth conversation's with Alex. I got to know him more than I thought possible.
"What did you do about it?"
Alex smiled sadly, and shook his head.
"I kissed him. And he didn't pull away." He stated, pulling into the skate park.
"That's....sweet." I admitted, smiling.
"Thanks." He shook his head.
"Did mom and Peter know?"
"Another story for another day."
"Ugh...kill joy."
"Bitch," He smirked playfully.
We skated for a little bit, and then we went back to the house to swim.
"I love having a pool!" I stated as I walked into my room. Alex proped himself up against my door frame.
"Didn't you have one at the White House."
"It's not the same." I laughed. "This one is so much better."
"Speaking of the White House...do you miss it?"
I paused for a second.
"Yeah, I miss a lot of stuff about it. Like the maid's, butlers, and insanley amazing food,"
"What about your dad?"
"Another story for another day." I mocked. "I'm going to change."
"I'll meet you at the pool."
"Mmkay." I replied and then he left. I changed into my bathing suite. When I got outside, Alex was already in the water. I laughed, dropping my towel on the lawn chair and jumping in without laying out to tan first.
"About time you just jumped in."
"Shut it."
"You're so mean." He rolled his eyes and swam around me. "You killed it today at the park."
"Nah...."
"Totally did. You should skate against Zack. He's pretty beastly too."
"Damn." I laughed. "Hot and beastly on a skate board."
"If you like that type."
The bite in his words didn't go unnoticed.
"Nah... I like guys who are scrawny." I joked, pinching his skinny arm.
Alex rolled his eyes.
"Jees,"
"Alex, shut up." I laughed. I swam to the edge, and lifted myself from the water. I flipped off of the diving board, and landed in the water.
"You're such a show off."
"And you aren't?" I scoffed.
"You have a point," He smiled and swam to the shallow end. I followed and stood so that the water came to my mid section. Alex cupped my face in his hands.
"Alex....parents are inside."
"Fuck them," He stated, kissing my lips.
I closed my eyes, and slipped my arms around his waist until our stomach's touched.
Then there was a loud sound. I pulled back and turned my head toward the direction of Carson's room. The usually open window was shut with the blinds closed.
"You're going to get me in so much trouble one day." I pointed out.
"Whatever. Let's just dive."
"Deal," I nodded my head, getting out and going back over to the diving board.
Not long after that Carson and Jack joined us.

<3

"That was...amazing." Alex said, leaning against me. "That's something I've never tried before."
"Well now you have." I huffed, catching my breath. "And it's time to actually shower. I feel dirty."
"You are dirty." He winked.
"Totally not that way, Lex." I rolled my eyes turning the water hotter.
"Ow! That's fucking hot!"
"No it isn't. Stop being such a fucking baby."
"It's burning, Lan!"
"Stop your fucking yelling!" I hissed, turning on some cold. "Better?"
"Much, thank you," He mumbled.
After actually showering, we stepped out. I wrapped a hot pink towel around my body while Alex just grabbed a random white one. I stood in front of the mirror, brushing out my hair. Alex wrapped his arms around my waist, and placed kisses from my jaw down to my shoulder. He stopped, and turned me around so that I was facing him. Alex kissed my forehead, cheeks, then finally captured my lips before trailing kisses back down to my collar bone. There he stopped and started to nip and tug at my skin with his teeth.
The stupid fucker was giving me a hicky on my collar bone, the place he said he prefered to leave them.
"Stopppp." I whined, pushing him away. Alex chuckled. "Let's get out of here. It's hot and steamy,"
"What about Carson and Jack?"
"I'm pretty sure that they're down in the pool," I replied, rolling my eyes before I moved from the bathroom frist. Alex followed behind me, and the coast was clear, from where we were. I turned the corner, and ran smack into a bare chest.
"What the fuck, Landon?" Alex asked, putting his hands on my hips. I ignored him, because I just hit someone. I looked up with wide eyes to see Jack staring at Alex and me.
"Are you fucking kidding me?" Jack asked, looking between the two of us. "Please tell me that what is running through my brain is wrong."
I bit my lip nervously as Alex's hands dropped from my waist. Jack waited for a reply, but once his eyes landed on my collar bone, his jaw dropped.
"Fucking gross!" He shook his head and walked past us into the bathroom, still in swimming trunks.
That was so awkward.
<3
"Well I think that I'm going to turn in early. Tomorrow's the first day of school and all...." Carson trailed off, standing up from the couch where Alex, me, and Carson were all sitting. We were watching a movie together, but I could barely pay attention to the movie. I was still thinking about earlier.
"Kay," I replied, but Alex said it with me.
I sighed heavily as soon as I heard Carson's door close.
"Landon?"
"Hmmm?" I hummed, staring straight ahead at the tv.
"Don't do that, please? I'm trying to actually talk to you,"
"Do what?" I replied, trying to avoid looking at me.
"Dammit, the least you can do is fucking look at me in the eyes."
My head snapped into his direction.
"What do you want me to do, Alex?"
"Something! Anything!" He sounded aggervated at me. Hell, I don't blame him at all. "Punch me, slap me, yell at me, fucking kiss me. Anything but ignoring me."
I looked at his begging face.
"Follow me." I huffed, standing up and starting out of the living room. Alex's hand slipped into mine as we walked up the stairs. I opened my room door, and we both slipped in.
"What are we?"
"Just get in the bed. I need to turn in to, and I'd rather argue somewhere comfortable."
Alex nodded, slipping into the bed. I walked to the other side and slid into the bed with him.
"Can we snuggle?"
"Sure...?"
"You don't sound very sure, but whatevs." He stated, curlying his body around mine. His chest pressed up against my back, and his head resting on my shoulder with both arms wrapped around my torso.
"I like kissing you, Alex."
"I like kissing you too."