I'm Not Perfect

Von sipped her drink and folded her long legs under her comfortably. It was common for her to be curled up on the kitchen counters watching the mostly white population of McMatthews High School drink themselves into a stupor. Usually, she had Spencer to keep her company, babbling in her ear about some other useless diet they should try. But even Spence had moved to the make shift dance floor. Von always felt so out of place watching the spoiled brats waste their parents’ money made her sick knowing that she had to work her ass off for every little penny. This wasn’t really her scene, but ever since she was accepted in McMatthews AP program, the members of her old crew thought she was stuck-up.

“Hey, why the long face?” she turned to the male voice and gave a smile to Luvy’s older brother.
“No reason, I’m just not in the partying mood tonight.”
“Yet somehow you’re friends with my sister.”
“Luvy’s a bit much sometimes, but she’s not that bad.”
Ja gave her a look, “Yeah, neither is a tsunami.”
Von nodded politely, looking around the room hoping to find a way out of this awkward situation. Ja noticed the dull silence and racked his brain for something to say. This was the only opportunity he had with Von alone and he was screwing everything up!
“Wait, I’m sorry. I’m the older brother so it’s easy for me to take jabs at my younger sister. I’m kinda nervous cause I’ve wanted to talk with you for a long time and I’m screwing up big time,” Ja gave Von a sheepish grin, “Can I start over?”

Von cocked her head to the side. Is he actually hitting on me? Why don’t I mind? I guess he is kinda cute for an Asian guy… Maybe I do need a boyfriend. Besides, what else do I have to lose? Von bit her lip and let out a low sigh, “ Okay, I guess I can waste some time with you.”
Ja gave her a goofy grin, “Let’s go outside, there’s a gazebo out there that will give us some privacy.” Ja gently grabbed her wrist and led her outside to Kent’s backyard gazebo.

From: Von
Hurry yo ass up!!!!!
Sun, Aug 14 2:46a.m.

This was the third text Von had sent to Flare in a row. It was inching close to 3 a.m. and Von had a full day in the morning. She had to work at the Daycare from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. and she still had school shopping to do. Von’s phone buzzed as the text from Flare came in:
From: Flare
Fuck you cockblock!
I’ll be out in 10. XOXO
Sun, Aug 14 2:49 a.m.

She heaved a sigh and slide against Flare’s jeep, taking a seat on the cool gravel street. For all this I could have asked Ja to take me home. A small laughed escaped her lips as she recalled their conversation. He was definitely nerdy and not at all like the guys she usually dated, but he wasn’t completely bad and he was extremely funny and a bit cute.

“You owe me two blonde bi-curious girls.”
Von rolled her eyes, “Open the car girl.”
“I’m serious, I spent most of the party coaxing them into bed with me and then you come along…”
Flipping her the international, “Fuck-off,” Von slid into the passengers’ seat.

“Will you park down the street? I don’t want my mom to see the headlights.”
Flare nodded, gliding past the two story house that belonged to Von, “get home safe, ok?”
“You too.” Von gave a final wave and waited after Flare had tuned the corner before turning in the opposite direction and heading in the direction of her real neighborhood, nearly six blocks away. Only in a fairytale could Von really afford to live in the two-story house she told her friends she stayed at. She use to live in a run down neighborhood with her crack head mother, but after her mother skipped town she moved in with her older brother Xavier in his apartment. Slightly better looking, but equally as bad. The streets were still alive as she turned onto her block. Music blared from houses and people spilled onto the street.

“Aye, girl! Let me talk to you, “a guy in the shadows called to her, his homeboys laughing.
Von ignored them, wrapping her arms tightly around herself wishing she had worn something less reveling to the party.
“Bitch!”

Von powered ahead. Only a few more houses until she reached her apartment.
“Tricey!” Von froze` on the first step into the apartment. She’d know that loud voice anywhere. She was debating whether or not to ignore her, but it was too late. Chandra James was already stumbling across the street and grabbing Von’s arm with her six inch fingernails, better suited for the talons of a hawk.

“Tricey come over, we ain’t seen you in forever.”Chandra was the textbook definition of a “hood rat”: Nosey, loud, ghetto, and obnoxious. She lived right across the street from Von and at one point the two had been close friends. Until Von was offered a spot in the AP program at McMatthews and Chandra became jealous claiming Von was a sell-out.

“Kendell’s been asking for you all night,” Chandra attempted to whisper as she dragged Von into the apartment complex.
Von’s stomach clenched at the thought of her ex. Kendell was a pretty boy who was used to getting exactly what he wanted. Von was no exception. They had been the perfect couple until Kendell broke her heart, cheating on her with some other girl.
“I can’t stay I have to work in the morning,” Von said meekly failing at puling her arm away.
“That’s cold Tricey. You hang out all night with them white bitches and can’t hang out for a few minutes with your fam? That’s cold girl.”
“Yeah Vontrice, that’s cold.”
Von went stiff as the husky voice reached her ear cutting through the loud rap music that was playing.
“I have to go,” Von whispered finally breaking free from Chandra’s grip hoping to escape the room before Kendell could reach her.
“You can stay a few minutes, right?” He was next to her. His alcohol soaked breathe warm on her neck. Von was in auto-pilot, nodding, and yet again being led to a place she didn’t want to go. She always fell victim to whatever he said.
He led her back downstairs into the cool summer breeze. Von breathed a sigh of relief. At least when the time came she could make a speedy exit.
“What do you want Kendell?” Von got straight to the point not at all in the mood for Kendell’s sweet talking bullshit mind games.
“Why you gotta do me like that? No, hi? How you doing?”
“Cause you think your slick. Now can I go home?” Kendell’s eyes downcast and Von took this as her cue to leave.
“You.”
“What?” Von turned, Kendell still in his previous spot his hazel eyes gleaming as he stared at Von,
“I want you Vontrice. I want us to try again.”
“You cheated on me,” Von’s voice was barely above a whisper.
“And that was a big mistake, but I wanna try again. I miss you.”
Disgusted, Von turned from him, “I don’t want to hear your BS; you just want me because you can’t have me. You’re better running after those little chicken heads falling all over themselves for you.”
With that, Von left finally walking up the steps to the apartment she shared with her older brother and his girlfriend ignoring the way her heart tugged for her to turn around and accept Kendell’s offer.

“Von! This is the last time I’m coming in here, get yo black ass up girl!”
Xavier Dallas, Von’s older brother, banged on the door roughly three times before bursting into Von’s small bedroom flipping on and off the light. Von groaned loudly, “Leave me alone Xi.”
“Girl you have work this morning. I’m doing you a favor.” Xavier pulled the covers off his sister, pulling at her toes as if threatening to pull her off the bed.

Von slowly gathered her things for a shower. She expertly avoided looking in the mirror as she entered the small bathroom. She hated how she looked like Aunt Jemima in her headscarf. She let the water trickle from the showerhead and warm before she hopped in, washing herself completely.

After fifteen minutes, Von was dressed in dark denim jeans and a lime green tunic. She walked into the brushing out her hair. Her brother sat Indian style on the floor while his girlfriend Jen sat on the couch, both intently rolling blunts. Von rolled her eyes in distaste. She hated when her brother did that in the house, but it was his house after all.
“Jen, can you still do my hair later?”
Jen licked the stiff white paper and looked up, “Sure, you go back to school tomorrow, right?”
Von nodded pulling her hair into a low bun, “Okay, I’ll be home around six.”
“Alright. Lock the door!”

Von took the stairs down to the ground level making her way to the bus stop. The neighborhood was much different in the early morning light. It was much quieter and children played in the streets. Von sat on the dew covered bench and pulled out her make-up bag as she prepared herself to spend the day with the energetic kids at Sunny Smiles Day Care Center.

Von could barely keep her eyes open as trudged down the street, shopping bags in hands. The kids had worn her out today. She couldn’t remember having that much energy as a kid. She also managed to finish her school shopping. She was lucky Sunny Smiles was located near a shopping outlet. However, she hated the fact she had to wait in the extremely long lines. That’s what she got for waiting until the last minute.

The sun had just started to sink in the sky and Von was just a few precious steps from the complex lobby.
“Tricey!”
Von groaned loudly, Great.
“Tricey! Hey girl, where you been?”
Von sighed. There was no point in trying to avoid Chandra now. Slowly, she made her way across the street where Chandra stood on the porch braiding up some little girls head,
“Hey. I just got off of work.”
“You still working down at the daycare?” Chandra asked loudly, popping her gum.
“Mhm.” Von kept her answers to the point hoping to escape faster.
“So what’s up with you and Kendell?”
“Nothing, we barely talked last night.”
Chandra gave her a look, “That’s not what he said.”
Von rolled her eyes. Everyone knew Chandra was a gossip hound. Half the things she said were complete lies. She had no desire to wrap herself in pointless drama.
“Well, I have to get upstairs. Jen said she’d do my hair.”
“Alright, Tricey. I’ll see you.”
Von gladly made her way across the street.
“Oh yeah, Trice.”
Slowly, Von turned around, “Yeah?”
“The girl that does my hair’s baby daddy said he saw your mom.”