Status: The end. Thank you all so much for reading.
Wrists
stay .
I was so afraid of seeing that leather jacket man again that I missed a day of classes. I spent my whole day on my bed, reading a book, and checking to see if any of my small friends tried to contact me because I was missing; I was never absent from class, unless I had a serious problem I needed to stay home for. I was on my fourth cup of black coffee, so anyone would know I was feeling a little jittery. Too jittery to just sit around and read the same books I’ve always read.
I pulled on an over-sized gray T-shirt, some loose sweatpants, snatched up my old phone, and left the house to go for a walk. I had already driven my sister to her school, and my mother and father were already gone, off to work. I had the whole afternoon to myself; I wanted to take advantage of it. I wanted to get lost somewhere; somewhere where I could, hopefully, be alone, with only myself. If only I could rip out my brain and walk around like a zombie—that would be eternal peace.
It was particularly nice outside. A little too windy, but the bright sun made up for that. Our elderly neighbor was back out in her garden, a nice floor-sweeping floral dress on her aged body, hands shaking slightly as they worked to pull out weeds. She turned her head to look at me, lips curling up into a polite smile. “Good afternoon, Graham. Not going anywhere today?”
I tucked some browning, golden curls from my freckled face, returning the benevolent smile to her. Her voice was so gentle and delicate; It was impossible to resist speaking to her every time I went for a walk. “No, ma’am. I just wanted to feel the breeze today. And you?”
She let out a soft laugh, her snow white tresses flying around her wrinkling, porcelain face. “Oh, no, Graham—you know it’s just me nd’my garden!” It sounded so lovely. Just her and her garden to keep her company on lonely days. I wish that’s all there was to my life—me and a garden. Or me and a book. Nothing to disturb me, no demons to invade me, nothing to destroy, rebuild, and destroy again. No mind, no thoughts, just me and a book. I was so envious of her; so, so envious. She seemed to have nothing, but she had everything. I was the one with nothing.
“Have a nice day, then, Ms. Summer,” I said kindly, and then went on my way as she said her goodbyes also. The walk was nice; I enjoyed it very much. It was calming; I didn’t have to worry about anything but what I was going to prepare for my family for dinner, when they all returned. Some stir fry for them, maybe? And a cup of green tea for me. Green tea sounded so good.
No one was watching me now, but the demons in my mind. And they were always watching—it was no different; almost like I was watching myself now. It was a frightening thought, but maybe it was true. Maybe all my problems were just inside my mind; I was imagining things.
That’s what I always told myself. Before I felt myself falling backwards, nothing to break my fall.
I pulled down my sleeves to hide my wrists.
I pulled on an over-sized gray T-shirt, some loose sweatpants, snatched up my old phone, and left the house to go for a walk. I had already driven my sister to her school, and my mother and father were already gone, off to work. I had the whole afternoon to myself; I wanted to take advantage of it. I wanted to get lost somewhere; somewhere where I could, hopefully, be alone, with only myself. If only I could rip out my brain and walk around like a zombie—that would be eternal peace.
It was particularly nice outside. A little too windy, but the bright sun made up for that. Our elderly neighbor was back out in her garden, a nice floor-sweeping floral dress on her aged body, hands shaking slightly as they worked to pull out weeds. She turned her head to look at me, lips curling up into a polite smile. “Good afternoon, Graham. Not going anywhere today?”
I tucked some browning, golden curls from my freckled face, returning the benevolent smile to her. Her voice was so gentle and delicate; It was impossible to resist speaking to her every time I went for a walk. “No, ma’am. I just wanted to feel the breeze today. And you?”
She let out a soft laugh, her snow white tresses flying around her wrinkling, porcelain face. “Oh, no, Graham—you know it’s just me nd’my garden!” It sounded so lovely. Just her and her garden to keep her company on lonely days. I wish that’s all there was to my life—me and a garden. Or me and a book. Nothing to disturb me, no demons to invade me, nothing to destroy, rebuild, and destroy again. No mind, no thoughts, just me and a book. I was so envious of her; so, so envious. She seemed to have nothing, but she had everything. I was the one with nothing.
“Have a nice day, then, Ms. Summer,” I said kindly, and then went on my way as she said her goodbyes also. The walk was nice; I enjoyed it very much. It was calming; I didn’t have to worry about anything but what I was going to prepare for my family for dinner, when they all returned. Some stir fry for them, maybe? And a cup of green tea for me. Green tea sounded so good.
No one was watching me now, but the demons in my mind. And they were always watching—it was no different; almost like I was watching myself now. It was a frightening thought, but maybe it was true. Maybe all my problems were just inside my mind; I was imagining things.
That’s what I always told myself. Before I felt myself falling backwards, nothing to break my fall.
I pulled down my sleeves to hide my wrists.
♠ ♠ ♠
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