Status: The end. Thank you all so much for reading.
Wrists
stay .
I ate ¼ of my plate before my stomach couldn’t take anymore and I had to stop. Steven—as promised—devoured the rest of my plate while I sat there and sipped some lemon water, silently wishing I really hadn’t eaten any of it. Because I knew what eating meant—bloating, cramps, going to the bathroom millions of times, and suffering. Suffering, meaning weight gain and hating myself because of it. I could never please myself when it came to food; eating meant guilt and suffering, not eating meant guilt and suffering. There was no middle.
May and her parents drove off in their own car after hugging me and showering me in kisses, but Elijah stayed behind to drive home with me. I was grateful for him deciding to be here, but, at the same time, I knew he was going to talk about my behavior and eating habits during the dinner.
“You did a lot better than I expected,” was the first thing Elijah said when we ran through the bitter night cold and got into my heated car. I knew it was supposed to make me feel a lot better about the situation, but I didn’t feel anything. My stomach was crying out in pain, willing me to the nearest bathroom. I tried my absolute hardest to hold it in, but it was growing in difficulty to swallow the bile scratching my aching throat.
“I guess,” I mumbled as I turned on the ignition. I reversed the car out of the parking spot and sped off towards Elijah’s home. The quicker her got home, the quicker I could send my stomach back into emptiness get some rest.
“Now here comes the next hardest part,” Elijah’s eyes were on me. “Go straight to bed, Graham. Okay?”
It was as if he read my mind. He knew what I the demons were up to. They were trying to get me to go back to my old, hollow self. They wanted to me to be empty, mentally and physically. They wanted me to believe filling myself was the enemy, when, in truth, they were the enemy all along. So I couldn’t do it. I just couldn’t. Not only would I disappoint Elijah, but I would disappoint myself.
I couldn’t let myself down.
So I told Elijah that I would go straight to bed.
And that’s just what I did.
May and her parents drove off in their own car after hugging me and showering me in kisses, but Elijah stayed behind to drive home with me. I was grateful for him deciding to be here, but, at the same time, I knew he was going to talk about my behavior and eating habits during the dinner.
“You did a lot better than I expected,” was the first thing Elijah said when we ran through the bitter night cold and got into my heated car. I knew it was supposed to make me feel a lot better about the situation, but I didn’t feel anything. My stomach was crying out in pain, willing me to the nearest bathroom. I tried my absolute hardest to hold it in, but it was growing in difficulty to swallow the bile scratching my aching throat.
“I guess,” I mumbled as I turned on the ignition. I reversed the car out of the parking spot and sped off towards Elijah’s home. The quicker her got home, the quicker I could send my stomach back into emptiness get some rest.
“Now here comes the next hardest part,” Elijah’s eyes were on me. “Go straight to bed, Graham. Okay?”
It was as if he read my mind. He knew what I the demons were up to. They were trying to get me to go back to my old, hollow self. They wanted to me to be empty, mentally and physically. They wanted me to believe filling myself was the enemy, when, in truth, they were the enemy all along. So I couldn’t do it. I just couldn’t. Not only would I disappoint Elijah, but I would disappoint myself.
I couldn’t let myself down.
So I told Elijah that I would go straight to bed.
And that’s just what I did.
♠ ♠ ♠
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