You Can't Spell Slaughter Without Laughter

"Jake, get up," Kyle said, pinching my ass. I yelped and my eyes fluttered open, a bit panicked.

"Come on, outta bed," he ordered, smirking. I sleepily slid out of bed and looked over at the alarm clock.

"6:19?" I groaned, "What the hell are you getting me up so early for?" Kyle looked around and said in a quiet voice, "Dad got home from his business trip earlier than I thought. We're supposed to go to Grandma's then and he can't know you're here. He doesn't like strangers in his house. I talked to Mom before and told her you called your parents and they're home. You can stay in my room til tomorrow night. When we leave you have full access to the kitchen. I'm so sorry to ditch on short notice but I'm freaking the fuck out and don't know what to do!"

"Oh, my god. So I'm gonna lay low here until you get back... when you get back how am I gonna get home with your father here?" I whispered harshly.

"He goes out to the bar with his buddies every Friday. Today's Wednesday, which means we'll get home Thursday. He'll go out Friday night, you sneak out home. You can borrow my clothes and when we get home I'll sneak food for you." Kyle said, as if it were the easiest question in the world. I shrugged it off and sat at the foot the bed. I ran a hand through my hair and exhaled.

"This seems so much harder than it should be. I can just go home when you guys leave. Break into my house, wait for them to get home.." I said, hoping he'd beg for me to stay.

"No, stay here. Hey, where do your parents think you are, anyway?" Kyle asked.

"..... My.... grandparents... But they're strict and old. I could go there if that's easier..." I lied, hoping he'd push that thought away, too.

"Please, you'd have more fun here anyway. I'll only be gone 18 hours. Just get under my desk now, I'll pack my nightbag and get the family to hurry up so you can eat." Kyle said, stuffing a pair of jeans, a graphic t-shirt, sweatpants, boxers, and a wifebeater in plastic shopping bag. He threw a deodorant stick, ten bucks, and a cell phone in his bag and tied the handles together. He turned to me, who was under his desk at the time, and said, "You have you cell, right? I'll call you when we're out of the sight of the house, when we get there, when we leave, and more importantly, when we're almost home." I grunted in agreement and he left the room. There were a lot of footstep noises, muffled voices, and slight slamming of doors, and then utter silence. A few minutes later my ringtone, "The Kill," by 30 Seconds to Mars, went off and I picked up my phone.

"We're all clear," Kyle whispered and hung up the phone. I looked at the screen, and decided to try something. I pressed speed dialed 2, the most important since number one is permanently voicemail. Ring.... ring.... ring... ring....ring...ring....ring...ring...ring...ring....ring.....ring....ring....ring.......ringgggggg......

"Hello, It's Shaun and Jake. We're too busy sucking face to answer the phone, so leave your homophobic message at the beep.." Shaun's voicemail. I guess maybe seeing him last night was a figment of my imagination. We recorded that together three weeks before he died. We weren't really together, but it was funny recording it.

I got up from under the desk and put my phone on top of his laptop. I walked out of the garage into the house, which was deserted. It felt weird, being absolutely alone in a house that isn't yours. My feet were cold as they walked along the hard cold hallway, feeling weirder after each step. I reached the kitchen and opened up the fridge, finding nothing. I opened the freezer and decided on frozen waffles. I grabbed two of the box and put them in the toaster. I looked in every cabinet until I found the syrup and the plates. I took the bottle of the syrup and one of the plates and put it by the toaster. I grabbed the butter out of the fridge and looked through every drawer until I found a fork and knife. I put it by the plate just in time for the waffles to pop up. I spread the butter on the waffle and poured it on top of the waffles. I slowly ate them, planning on how I'd clean the silverware afterwards and put it back so it was like nothing happened.

I put everything back and cleaned everything. It was just as if nobody was in their house. I walked back to the garage, feeling safer there. I picked up my phone and looked at the screen.

6 missed calls.
Three new voicemails.

I clicked View All and a list of all my missed calls were displayed on the screen.

5 missed calls from Mom.
1 missed call from Shaun.

Shaun?!